It’s been five days since he gave me his business card. Five whole days. He’d offered to help me find work. I’ve thought about what kind of work I’d like to do, and every idea brings the fear of being found to the forefront of my mind. I have enough money to last a few more months – two, possibly three – if I’m really careful. So maybe I’ll wait a bit longer, but asking Ruslan about work couldn’t hurt. I know I’m just trying to come up with a viable reason to call him. Trust me. That has not escaped me. Maybe he could help me find something that would keep me out of the public eye and safe. It’s worth a shot.
Without thinking, I pulled his business card from my purse and flipped it over in my hand a few times. The need to hear his voice and thank him yet again filled me. Peering at my brand-new cell phone on the nightstand, I decided to take a chance. Slowly, I entered his number and hit send before I could talk myself out of it. I listened to the line ring once, twice, before his deliciously sexy voice came on the line.
“Ruslan here.”
I shivered. Good God! This man would be the death of me. Clenching my thighs together to ward off the spell his sexy voice cast on me, I did my best to pull myself together. “Hey. It’s… um… Liliya, the helpless chick from the other day at the diner.”
“How are you? Did you make it where you were headed?”
“I did. I was wondering if you were serious about helping me find a job.”
“Of course. What kind of work are you looking for?”
I hesitated in responding, needing to get my words just right. Part of me thought I could trust him, but I still wasn’t completely sold on the idea just yet. “Ruslan, you seem like a nice guy. Are you? A nice guy, I mean.”
“Sure. What’s going on? Is everything alright?”
“I’m fine. Really. I’m just tired from job-hunting all week. Maybe this was a mistake. Look I better go. Just… well… thanks again for the help earlier this week. It’s good to know there are kind people in the world.” Before he could respond, I hung up and tossed my phone on the bed. Yeah, I’m a freaking coward with a capital C.
Lowering my head into my hands with a long drawn-out sigh, I cursed myself for being so weak and foolish. The entire conversation, however short it might have been, was a complete and total embarrassment. I crumpled the card and tossed it across the room, missing the trashcan by a mile. There was no way in hell I could face him now, much less call him again. He probably thought I was crazy, and that was probably for the best, anyway. Ruslan had been nothing but kind to me and what did I do? I hung up on him, as if all my hang-ups and shit I was facing were his fault. Not cool.
Other than the obvious issues I’ve been facing in my screwed-up life, I hungered for human interaction. I’d never had many friends, which was sad. For years, I had been able to ignore it due to my home literally being crawling with people at all hours of the day and night. But now things were different. I was starving for contact and intimacy with another human being. Being alone truly sucked.
I hadn’t ever had this much time alone. Sitting in this dark and musky-smelling motel room was passed the point of driving me crazy. I had already counted the water stains on the ceiling countless times, some of which I had stared at for so long that I was beginning to imagine seeing things within them, like with those crazy Rorschach tests. Call me crazy, but one spot looked a lot like a man’s very large cock with a hefty set of balls. Yeah, I so need to get the hell out of this room before I start naming the roaches that are big enough to carry me away.
So here I am, a lonely girl in over her head in every way a girl could be, and I’m smack dab in the middle of something I can’t wrap my head around. Call me crazy, but I needed a bit of liquid courage. The more I thought about my situation, the angrier I got, and the more I felt the need to make a move and find Mr. Volsky. I know leaving the protective bug-infested nest I call home for the moment would be a bad idea, but I needed to interact with other people. I need to cut loose. Making friends may not be a good idea, as that would put their lives in danger if or when I was found, and that was a risk that I wasn’t willing to take, but I needed to get out of this damn room before I lost more than my freaking mind.
Hopping off the bed, I headed for the small closet near the bathroom sink and stared at my reflection. The person looking back at me was… well… me… but not me at the same time. The few articles of clothing I owned now hung in a small closet that for some strange reason had no door. I had picked them up at the local Goodwill store. They weren’t great, but they would do. Wearing used clothing felt strange, but it was the best I could do, considering my financial circumstances. I’d make do.