And then, a familiar voice of a girl in my trig class—Hope, I think her name was—said, “Well, when you texted, saying you were home alone, I just couldn’t help swinging by and saying happy birthday in person.”
“Mmm,” Brandt hummed out his pleasure from deep in this throat. “And what a nice birthday present it was. Thank you.”
Oh, crap. He was with a girl. Like with a girl. Having sex.
My face heated suddenly as I started to wheel backward from the door. Pain ricocheted through my stomach and my fingers went cold and numb. It became hard to maneuver, so I just stopped and squeezed my eyes closed, continuing to listen to everything they said.
“But...time to put your clothes back on, sweetheart,” Brandt told Hope. The sound of flesh slapping against flesh as if he’d just spanked her bare butt shot from his room. “I need to take a shower before I head over to Sarah’s house in an hour. She’s treating me to supper tonight.”
God.
I wasn’t sure how I felt about him talking about me when he was naked with another girl.
I knew he wasn’t a virgin or anything. I’d heard the rumors, I wasn’t stupid. But he never told me about any of that, so it was easy to just pretend none of it happened.
I was just his friend. I shouldn’t be bothered by what he did with other girls, anyway.
Except I was. As I sat there, listening to Hope coo, “Aww. I think it’s so sweet how nice to her you are,” I just wanted to claw her eyes out.
I wanted to cry. Or scream.
Or cry while I was screaming and clawing her eyes out.
I wanted to burst in there and drag her out by her hair. And then I wanted to hit him in the chest.
Except I had no right. I was just his friend, and honestly, until this very moment, I’d always been perfectly content about that. But hearing him with someone else flipped some kind of switch inside me.
I think I was in love with Brandt. Like love-love, the gooey, kissy, get married, make babies and live happily ever after kind of love.
Holy hell. When had that happened? I’d always thought he was beautiful. I loved his heart and wanted to spend more time with him than anyone else, but I’d never had any sexual interest in him. Until now.
I definitely did now. I was so painfully jealous that Hope had been able to see and touch parts of him I never had.
“Why wouldn’t I be nice to her?” Brandt was saying. His voice went momentarily muffled as if he’d tugged on a shirt while he was talking. “She’s my friend.”
Just friends, I reminded myself. Nothing more. If he’d ever wanted more from me, he would’ve said or done something years ago to let me know, instead of losing it to Shayla the cheerleader slut, right?
“Yeah, but...not really,” Hope said, making me frown as I wondered what that meant.
Brandt sounded just as confused as he asked, “What do you mean, not really?”
“I mean...I don’t know. She drools!”
My hand shot to my mouth, and my face went hot when I realized, yep, there was moisture collecting at the corner of my mouth. How humiliating. I wanted to cry out that I couldn’t help it, but I definitely didn’t want them knowing I was here now.
In Brandt’s room, he said, “Excuse me?” in a slow, deadly calm voice.
I’d known him long enough to realize that was his getting-pissed voice.
“It’s okay; you can be straight with me. You’re only nice to her because she’s...you know, handicapped, right?”
“No,” he growled. “Not right. I’m nice to her because I honestly like her. It’s not just some pity friendship. Fuck drool. Sarah is one of the most important people in my life. I love her.”
Warmth spread through my chest. I knew he didn’t mean his words in the full capacity that I wanted him to, but they filled me with this overwhelming sensation that almost made it hard to breathe because my heart was so bursting. I wanted to cry and laugh at the same time.
It was bittersweet, as sad as it was lovely. I kind of wanted to weep happy tears mixed with depressed ones.
Until Hope sniffed. “Love? Yeah right. If her drool and wheelchair don’t mean anything to you and you love her so much, then why am I the one naked in your bed, and not her?”
That was actually a very good question. Brandt had never once made a romantic move toward me. He’d never kissed me or even come close to kissing me. He’d never once crossed the line of friendship. But if he loved me as he claimed, then yeah...why? What if it was because of my CP?
Instead of answering Hope, however, he snarled, “You’re about to be naked on my front porch if you don’t stop pissing me off. Sarah is off limits to you.”
Wow. My eyebrows shot up at that possessive little claim. It kind of made me feel bad for thinking he’d ever held anything back from me because of my condition. He really did love me. Just platonically.
“Jeez, Brandt. Calm down. I’m just trying to understand. She’s pretty enough when she isn’t writhing around. So why—”