I feel hot tears running into my hair as I wake up. There’s an excruciating, piercing pain in my abdomen. I try to move so I can curl up but the pain intensifies and I whimper.
“Cara?” I feel hands move up my arms and they frame my face, and then I see Damian. He looks awful, worse than before. “Cara,” he says again.
“It hurts really bad,” I croak. “Make it go away.” I don’t even have the strength to lift my hands.
“I will.” There’s promise in his voice and it already makes me feel better. I hear a beeping start above my head. I hear him talk but I don’t listen as I drift off to sleep again.
The next time I wake up, Damian’s staring at me and for a moment I think he’s fallen asleep with his eyes open, but then he blinks.
“How are you feeling?” he whispers as he moves closer to the bed.
“Alive,” is the only word I can think of. “Annie? Is she okay?”
“She’s just fine. She’s gone home but said she’d be back soon,” he says and then his face goes real serious.
This is where I hear it for running into the house to help Annie. This is where I hear how stupid I was. I’m surprised that I can remember it all so crystal clear.
“Cara.” He comes to sit on the bed and leans in real close, his elbows rest on either side of my head. I won’t be able to get away from his words as his face is inches from mine. Too late do I realize he’s trying to give me strength when he says, “The bullet hit real low.”
He pauses as if he’s waiting for me to take it in. As if he’s waiting for me to blame him for not being fast enough.
“The bullet hit…” He takes a breath and it really sounds like he can’t find the words. Then he just spits out the words. “I can’t say it. I’m sorry.” I stare at him and I’m surprised by how gutted he looks.
“You can’t say what?” I try to encourage him while I’m getting more nervous.
“There was a lot of damage. You were out of it for a couple of days,” he whispers, and I can see it’s hard for him to keep his eyes on mine. “The baby is gone.”
“Oh.” I try to think what would be a good thing to say to him. I see the hurt on his face and I say the first thing that comes to mind. “I’m sorry.”
He shakes his head. “Why are you apologizing to me?” His hands are shaking as he caresses my hair.
“I don’t…” The words trail away as the full impact of what he just said hits hard. “The baby … my baby.” My voice grows thick with tears. “I lost my baby?” My voice cracks with emotions I wasn’t expecting to feel.
I lost my baby. I didn’t even have a chance to decide whether I wanted a baby. It’s just another decision forced on me.
Tears spill over my cheeks and Damian’s arms slip in under me. He holds me to his chest as I cry for yet another life that was taken from me.
When the tears stop flowing, Damian moves back to the chair. He holds one of my hands but he doesn’t say anything else.
The familiar emptiness I haven’t felt in a while sinks into my soul. It weighs a ton. Who would’ve thought emptiness could weigh so much?
How much pain can one human being take before they just die?
A heavy silence lies between us but I’m still grateful for Damian being here. Once again, he is my pillar of strength.
I’ve been in hospital for almost a week. I hate hospitals.
Annie comes to see me in the early hours of the morning. She holds me tight and then whispers, “Jason is going to come ask questions today. I can’t hold him off any longer. We told him it was a break-in gone bad. You just tell him that, and everything will be fine.”
Annie stays by my side when Jason comes to see me. Damian is with him and both their faces are set in a dark scowl. “Let me guess,” Jason says angrily, “it was a break-in gone wrong?”
My eyes dart to Damian’s where he’s standing behind Jason. Damian nods at me and I start nodding too. “Yeah.” The one word is hoarse.
“Yeah?” Jason raises an eyebrow, and then he tucks the small notepad back in his pocket. He takes a deep breath and his eyes find mine again. “I’ll make you a deal.” He steps back so he can see both Damian and me. “You both leave and never come back to my town, and I’ll let it go as a robbery gone wrong.”
I open my mouth to protest when Damian moves forward. He comes to stand next to me and then he gives Jason a look that would scare the bravest of men. “It’s a deal. As soon as my wife is released we’ll leave your town.”
“No!” Annie gets up and her cheeks flush with anger. “You can’t tell them what to do!”
Jason shakes his head hard. “Annie, I promised Pete I’d look after you. I won’t break my promise to him. Trouble follows them and I can’t just stand by while your life is in danger. Now, you can be angry at me all you want, but I’m not backing down on this.”