I walk where he steers me. A huge man staggers in front of me and he grabs for me. I shriek and jump back, slamming into Damian. I spin around and grab hold of his shirt. “Please, I can’t,” I whimper, near hysterics.
I feel his breath on my cheek and then his arms go around me, locking me against his chest. I was wrong earlier – I fear everything around me, but not Damian. I don’t know why but I trust him with the sliver of life I have left. I trust him more than I trust myself, because I almost got myself killed. It’s my fault they raped me, because I put myself in that horrid situation. But Damian … he saved me. He protects me, and that is much more than I have done for myself.
“I have you. You’re safe.” I can barely hear him, but the words sink deep.
I look down at my fingers digging into his shirt. I didn’t even know I was holding on so tightly. I pry my fingers loose and suck in a deep breath. The thick smell of smoke is not so overwhelming anymore. Mixed scents fill the air, making it easier to breathe.
Slowly, he lets go of me and then he reaches for my hand. I stay glued to his side as we make our way to the bar. I keep my eyes on his hand holding mine.
I listen as he places an order and I take the glass when he hands it to me. I bring it to my lips and throw my head back, letting the liquid burn down my throat. Then I focus my eyes on the black ink curling from his wrist to where it disappears under the rolled up sleeve. My eyes follow his arm as he reaches for me and I move at the same time, knowing safety is with him. No one can touch me if I’m with him.
His arm slips around my waist. He leans in close so I can hear him. “Listen to me,” he says. I nod and my body warms from the liquid. “I’m here and nothing will happen. They are only people. You’ll most probably never see them again after tonight. Focus only on me. Breathe in and out.” I do what he says and I breathe his spicy cologne in.
I pull back only enough to look up at him and a smile starts to pull at his lips. I stand on my toes so I can reach his ear. “Just don’t leave me alone.” I don’t care that I sound needy. I’ll die if he leaves me here.
“Not a fucking chance in hell of that happening tonight.” His voice is deep and reassuring. “Another drink then we dance.” He sounds normal again.
The word dance registers somewhere in my frazzled mind. I pull back and everything comes into focus. We’re standing at a horseshoe shaped bar. The wood has been worn through over the years. Bowls of peanuts are spaced over the counter. I once read that it’s one of the dirtiest things on the planet next to a public toilet.
The bar is not as full as it felt when we first came in. Only half the seats are taken. My eyes keep taking in everything and then I see the dance floor and I realize why the bar looks empty. Most of the people are there, swaying to the song I haven’t even been listening to.
I don’t know it, but then I don’t know ninety percent of the songs out there. The band is playing a real slow song and I listen as Damian places another order.
His eyes are serious when they come back to me. I used to be scared of making eye contact with him, but right now that dark look in his eyes grounds me. It means protection for me and death for anyone who tries to hurt me. Damian is my shield against the world.
I don’t down the next drink. I make it last four huge gulps. “I charge a fee to carry you home, but dancing is for free. Come on.” He takes my hand as the first piano notes of a song start up. It sounds sad.
“I can’t dance,” I say anxiously. He doesn’t listen and pulls me across the floor. “Damian, I’ve never danced,” I try again.
When we reach the dance floor, he turns to me and then pulls me to his chest.
He doesn’t hold me like some of the other couples are holding each other. He takes my hand and holds it to his chest. His other hand presses lightly against my lower back, securing me to his body. I stare up at him with huge eyes. This is so unlike Damian. I’m not sure what to make of it. I never took him for someone who likes to dance.
I’m not comfortable with all the touching. He’s touched me more in the last hour than he has altogether since I’ve come to stay with him. It’s not that I’m scared, I’m just not comfortable with it. It confuses my already disoriented mind.
I place my other hand on his bicep and then he starts to move. He doesn’t make me do some elaborate dance. Thank, God! He just holds me and moves us slowly in a circle.
As the seconds tick by I start to relax a little. I’m super aware of every single person close to me. Damian’s breath is warm on my forehead and I try to focus on it.
I close my eyes to block out the world. It’s only us and no one else, because no one else matters. I’m safe. No one can hurt me.