“Shut up.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He sinks his fingers into the hair at the nape of my neck as his mouth takes mine. Winding an arm around my waist, he lays me down, hooking my legs around his hips. “To be fair, though, you taught me to be loud and proud about my thoughts, about what I want. You’re who I think about and all I want. So maybe I don’t wanna shut up about that.”
My head falls back with a soft cry as he rocks into me, and when I right myself again, he runs the tip of his nose against mine.
“Can I ask you something, Jennie? How did you picture your first time? Did you want music? Candles? Maybe this can be your do-over.”
Honestly, I’d never put much stock into the aesthetics of my first time. I’d always wanted it to be special, but special hadn’t meant fancy things or putting on a show. It meant feeling loved, accepted, wanted. It meant feeling safe to share all my parts with someone else, not having any doubts about being enough, and knowing I’d still be enough afterward. Special meant unhurried, taking our time, appreciating each other for who we were and how we made each other better.
I hadn’t had that experience, and I’d always felt robbed. But right now? Garrett is giving me the experience I always craved, the one I deserved.
“This,” I finally answer. “Right here with you is how I pictured it. Being with someone I love, someone who reminds me I’m already enough.”
“You are enough, Jennie. I used to be scared of how enough you were, unattainable almost. I wasn’t sure I could stack up. But I know now. Everything I was missing was something you brought with you, evening me out. I realized I was never not enough; I was waiting for you so we could be whole together.”
His words touch a deep part of me, branding my heart. Because only with Garrett do I embrace all of me.
I stroke a hand down the side of his face. “Look at you, putting your feelings into words. Proud of you.”
“See what you do to me? I’m so in love with you I can’t even think straight.
“To be fair, you’ve never been able to think straight.”
He huffs a laugh, rocking his hips against mine. “I’m not afraid to shut you up with my cock down your throat.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“In a heartbeat. Not tonight, though. Tonight, sunshine, I love you soft and slow.”
I take a deep breath. “I’m ready.”
He brushes a tender kiss to my lips. “Thank you for trusting me, Jennie.”
Fisting his cock, he runs it through my slit, watching as I soak him. Our eyes lock, and slowly, so damn slowly, he pushes inside.
“Fuck,” he groans. “Fucking…heaven.”
My back arches off the bed as I gasp, feeling the way I stretch to accommodate him, molding around him. He’s heavy and thick and takes up every bit of space, making me feel fuller than I ever have.
Hand bracketing my jaw, he keeps our eyes locked. “You okay?”
“It’s just…full. So full.”
“Fuck you, Indiana Bones,” he mutters, coaxing a giggle from me. His thumb brushes beneath my eye, bringing my gaze back to him. “Hey, stay with me. We’re gonna do this at your pace, okay?”
My palms glide over his back as I get used to his size. “I love when you ramble.”
His mouth quirks. “What?”
“You’re adorable when you do. And you think you have trouble speaking honestly, but that says more about how you feel than most people can communicate with words.” I hold onto his shoulders as my hips lift, bringing him a little bit deeper, drawing another gasp from my lips as I find friction. “You’re so kind, and I don’t even think you realize it most of the time. You do things for others without thinking, like bringing me coffee after school, or dancing with me in your kitchen to cheer me up, flying home to help your dad even though you were angry with him, and to be with your sisters. You’re not afraid to be gentle, and I love your tenderness. I think everyone deserves a Garrett in their lives, but selfishly, I’m glad it’s me who gets to keep you. I’m so lucky.”
I bring his mouth down to mine, and his hips rock slowly as our tongues meet. Squeezing me closer, we start to move together. He eases his length out before sinking back in, each slow thrust drawing another whimper, another moan as my body comes to life, wanting more, needing more.
I see it there in his eyes as he watches me. The hesitancy, the compassion. He’s trying so hard, holding back just for me, waiting for my cue. I want it all, everything he’ll give me, but mostly, I just want him.
My fingernails bite into his shoulders as he plunges a little deeper, a little harder. When his cock hits that hard-to-find spot, my eyes roll back and my head falls to the pillows.
“Oh fuck,” I cry, raking my nails down his biceps.
“Christ, Jennie.” He drives himself forward. “You’re killing me.”
My heels dig into his ass as he lifts my hips off the bed, and my fingers plow through his hair, hanging on for dear life as he takes me higher than I’ve ever been.
Garrett drags hot, wet kisses across my chest, his jagged breath lashing at each one. His lips sweep up my throat and he sinks his fingers in my hair, peering down at me as his skin slaps against mine.
“Unbelievable. So fucking beautiful it’s unbelievable.”
“Garrett.” His name is choked and garbled, a nearly unrecognizable sound as my spine quivers, a fire sparking deep in my belly, and he moves faster, thrusts deeper. His hips roll against mine, giving me that friction I didn’t know I needed, and my entire world starts to crumble. “Oh my God, Garrett, please.”
Fingertips press into my jaw, holding me captive. “I can’t believe how in love with you I am. It’s fucking mind-blowing.”
I can’t think straight when he watches me like that, like he’s seeing in color for the first time. My mind is a wonderful mess, where all I know is every single part of me lights up with his touch, lets me know that right here with him is exactly where I was always meant to be.
My eyes prickle with tears of relief. I’ve never felt more me than I do with him, and I can’t explain how freeing it feels to not have to hide. After all this time, all this heartache, I’ve finally found my person, my place in this world. Every shroud of pain falls away until it’s nothing more than a sliver that’s shaped who I am, brought me to this point where I wouldn’t change a thing.
With a fistful of his hair, I bring his forehead to mine as he drives us closer to that finish line. Everything tingles and tightens, squeezing him deeper, like I don’t want this to end. But I don’t think I can hold on any longer.
Garrett’s eyes move between mine, reading my thoughts. “Me, too, baby,” he promises.
His mouth crashes down on mine as he pistons inside me, swallowing the cry ripping up my throat. When we come together, all I see is the stars, the ones he so effortlessly hung in my sky.
Strong arms tug me into a broad chest, and Garrett rolls us onto our sides, whispering how much he loves me as he holds me.
For so long, I’d convinced myself I was better off on my own. I’d grown so accustomed to my independence, told myself I needed it to be strong, I hadn’t realized how alone I felt.
Then Garrett gave me my best friend, a partner to stand by my side and hold my hand. And the world feels a lot less scary when we face it together rather than separately. I don’t ever want to go without this feeling again.
Garrett’s lips dot my shoulder, marking a path up my neck with his whispered promise. “I’m not going anywhere.”
And he doesn’t. I wake in the morning to an empty, rumpled bed, but I hear him. Hear music humming softly from the kitchen, his feet padding around, pans clanging.