Then it was all business again.
I showed them the tunnel and where we had to go in. The tension eased as they quietly discussed the strategies. It was the only time they appeared agreeable with one another.
An hour into the flight, I went and sat across from Georgie at the back of the plane. Connor was breathing heavily, eyes closed as he slept, probably due to whatever they’d given him.
I didn’t say anything at first because I didn’t know what to say to her. She’d been a pawn in this as well. Kai had told me everything including the cutting in the shed. Parts of me understood why Georgie needed the physical pain in order to try and dull the emotional pain.
I couldn’t handle being around people who wanted to coddle me when I’d finally come home. I wanted to be alone. Run from everyone. From everything I cared about. Even from myself.
But like Georgie’s cutting, my running didn’t help.
Kai had done that.
“I’m sorry. About Connor.” He was this way because of my father.
She raised her head, Connor’s hand in hers, tears streaking her cheeks and there were mascara blotches underneath her eyes. “He was a great brother.” Georgie leaned her head back against the seat, staring straight ahead. “I’ve wanted nothing more in my life than to have him back.” She paused and repeated, “Nothing. And now… he’s here, but he isn’t.”
I didn’t respond, my heart tearing at the broken bond between brother and sister.
“I never wanted him to join the military. I begged him not to, but Connor… he told me it was what he was meant to do. It was who he was.” She sniffled and rubbed her nose with the back of her hand. “Every time he came back from a tour, he’d walk through the door and despite what hell he’d been in, what he’d seen or done, he’d still smile.”
I glanced at her brother who had nothing but ravaged pain etched on his face. I knew the look because I’d suffered, too, and it changed me. You didn’t forget. You just learned to adapt with the horror and survive with the black shadows.
I leaned forward and glanced up front. Kai was watching me, no smile and no anger, just watching with interest. There was a slight nod and then he went back to listening to whatever the men were talking about.
“So, you and Kai?” Georgie said.
I nodded.
“Known him since I was a kid. He taught me a lot and he, in his own way, has protected me. Well, I know that now, but damn, he terrified me, too. Never known a man to be as fearless as him and I’ve been around Deck and his men my whole life. He hides it well. Fucker is as casual as they come.” She lowered her voice. “But when you disappeared and he called in his marker with Deck to try to find you…. Kai doesn’t use markers. Doesn’t need them. And he sure as hell has never been fond of Deck. Shit, Deck still doesn’t trust him.”
“Do you?”
Georgie shrugged. “Hard question to answer. Not really, and yeah, sort of.” She huffed. “I hate the bastard sometimes. For all of this, but a part of me knows this doesn’t stem from him. He’s a product of what they made him.”
I trusted Kai, but I wasn’t sure of the lengths he would go to get exactly what he wanted, even if that meant hurting or killing someone on this plane.
Georgie half-smiled. “Sugar, with the way that man watches you he’s one-hundred percent into you. Not something to take lightly with him.”
“I love him.” Her brows rose. “But sometimes… the way he is, his morals, how dangerous he can be, it’s a little scary.”
“Deck has some big-ass monsters hanging in his closet and I won’t even get into what I think delicious Vic has going on in that head of his, but you find the good and you hold onto that because it’s what will pull you both through the hell. I think Kai wants to be pulled out, London. I think he’s been trying to get unstuck for years and those bastards kept dragging him back down into the sludge. But you and him”—she nodded toward Kai—“you have the rope. Just don’t let it go, because my guess, if you do, that guy isn’t ever coming back from the darkness again.”
I peered over at Kai again as he leaned forward and said something to Vic, that subtle smile barely visible as Vic glared back at him and I knew he’d said something to piss him off. Yeah, he definitely had no fear.
“Prepare for landing,” the pilot announced as the seatbelt lights went on.
“Georgie, what happened with Alfonzo at your house—”
“Don’t go there. Not your fault. Alfonzo was the lowest of scum and there was nothing you could have done. Kai was handling it and you needed to do exactly what you did.”
“Except I should’ve turned the gun on him,” I replied.