I PACED THE bedroom where Deck had ordered me to stay. I wasn’t very good at following orders, but he used that tone. The one that made me think twice about disobeying him, not because he’d ever hurt me, but because he’d be disappointed in me and that was worse.
I’d lived for years disappointing him, and pretended not to give a crap, but I no longer had to. He was mine. Deck. My brother’s best friend. My brother who I thought was dead then found out he was alive, but wasn’t the brother he used to be. The brother who teased me about how perfect I used to dress and how neat I kept my room. The brother who made a grave for my hamster when he died. The brother who protected me in school against bullies who made fun of how I dressed and looked. I was so different, but now, so was he.
And Deck wouldn’t let me see him.
I knew he was trying to protect me, but my brother and I had always been close. He’d been my best friend. God, I still had the stuffed rabbit he’d given to me when I was a kid. And I had his journal. A journal that Deck had given me. I’d never read it at the time. Hadn’t ever planned on it either, until I discovered Connor was alive. Until shit went down with Tanner. Until Kai told us about Vault.
Then I read it, with Deck. And cried. And it nearly destroyed me because inside the pages was my brother. One I’d lost and wasn’t sure I’d ever get back.
I jerked when I heard a deafening roar and then several loud curses came up from the basement.
“Connor.” A tear slid down my cheek and I wiped it away with the back of my hand. Pain lacerated my soul at hearing his voice again and yet, it wasn’t his voice. It was laced with anger and rage, something Connor never had in him. He’d been calm and easygoing, flirted with all the girls, a cocky playboy who was quick to laugh and hard to anger.
“Christ. Connor. Fuck.” I heard Deck shout.
It was his ragged tone as if Deck was about to break that had me running from the bedroom and scrambling for the basement.
“Georgie,” I heard London call.
I didn’t stop as I flung open the basement door and scrambled down the wooden steps toward my brother.
My brother.
Connor.
“Georgie, no,” Deck shouted. “Fuck. Stop her.”
“Jesus,” Tristan said.
I hit the last stair when Kai stepped in front of me, grabbing my shoulders. “Chaos.”
It was like a film in slow motion as I turned and looked over the railing, my eyes hitting my brother. Or a semblance of him.
My heart stopped and bile rose in my throat. I had the urge to run back up the stairs as fast as I could, but I was frozen staring at…. I didn’t know what I was seeing. My mind reeled with memories of who he was and what I was staring at, unable to decipher that he was one and the same.
“Connor. No.” The words ripped from my throat in a ragged whisper of devastation.
He was chained to the rough cement-block wall, arms out to the sides, feet slightly parted, manacles around each limb.
There were cuts on his wrists and ankles, the blood sprayed across his skin like a fine mist of red paint. His thigh and shoulder were bandaged, but I didn’t know why. His chest heaved and there was a wild look in his eyes, expression contorted as if the men were torturing him.
But it was the absence of kindness in his eyes that destroyed me. It was why he’d joined the JTF2, an elite anti-terrorism unit. Why he was the most incredible brother. Why he visited schools and orphanages when he was on tour. Why he was Connor. He may have been cocky and full of himself, but his heart had been filled with compassion and love, helping kids like Tanner who had nothing. Tanner who had betrayed him. Betrayed us both.
There was nothing left of that Connor. There were physically identifiable pieces of him, but what made up who my brother was had vanished.
My gaze darted to Kai. “Get your hands off me,” I shouted. “This is your fault.” I didn’t recognize my own agonized voice as I tried to push past Kai, but his grip on me only tightened.
I never thought I’d do it because despite knowing Kai for years, he still scared me. But so much rage surfaced that I couldn’t control it.
I hauled off and punched him in the face. I knew he’d seen it coming by the way he tensed just before my fist made contact with his jaw. I also knew he could’ve avoided it, but he let me hit him.
“You did this to him. This is your fault you son-of-a-bitch. You destroyed him.” I pounded on his chest while Kai stood unmoving. “He was good, damn it. He was good. He was good.” And now that was gone.
My vision blurred from the tears and I no longer knew who I was punching and trying to hurt until I heard Deck’s whispered words against my ear, his arms wrapped around me.
“Baby. Shh, we’ll get him back.”
I shook my head back and forth against his chest. “He’ll never be the same.”