Being with him was like breathing in too fast and becoming lightheaded. There were no restrictions as to who I was. Then or now. Kai let me be me and he knew exactly who I was. Sometimes, I think he knew me better than I knew myself. Maybe he did because he pulled me from a place within myself where I’d been slowly dying.
I moaned when his lips left mine then smiled as I ran my fingers through his hair. “Kai.” I whispered his name like I’d done for countless weeks after seeing him through the barred cell. I’d been angry, helpless, exposed, but I was never hopeless.
Never.
And Kai wouldn’t allow it. He gave me the words to hold onto, the cruel words to remind me to never let Vault see the hope. Kill it. Destroy it and survive.
That was when I shut down, not to die, but to survive.
“I love you,” I said.
He tilted his head to kiss me again except this time it was a gentle caress. A velvet touch from his lips reaching deep inside me and taking what I’d already freely given him.
He growled, picked me up and tossed me on the bed then hovered over me, a predator about to devour his prey and I wanted to be devoured.
Kai had found me three times.
He’d found me and brought me back each time. He would always come for me and I wanted to be strong enough to be there for him.
The mattress sagged under his weight as he knelt on it then straddled me. I sighed as he trailed kisses down my neck and toyed with my nipples through my shirt.
I cupped his neck and pulled him in closer. “Show me what you can’t say,” I whispered.
Kai may never tell me he loved me and I accepted that. I didn’t need the words. I just needed him to continue to be the man he was with me.
He stiffened, eyes narrowing as he sat on top of me. Then the corner of his mouth twitched and that playful light reached his eyes. “You brave enough, baby?”
I reached between us and stroked his cock through his pants. “Always.”
He laughed then he showed me how much he loved me.
I woke sore but sated between my legs. I’d been brave, but there was no need to be because Kai had been gentle as he made love to me several times over the last few hours. If I ever had a doubt that Kai loved me as much as he could love anyone, it would’ve been erased last night.
He’d given me the parts of him that I guessed few, if any, had ever seen. The soft, vulnerable parts of Kai. It was why he’d found me. Why he risked everything to get me away from Vault. Why he trusted Deck and his men, and Tristan when he trusted no one.
I reached over to kiss him, but he was gone, the mattress cold where he’d lain with me curled in his arms. I sat up, the sheet clutched to my chest as the bedroom door opened. My heart skipped a beat as my gaze locked on him. God, he always looked so encompassing whenever he walked in a room.
“Tristan says the plane’s nearly at Pearson airport and Connor isn’t doing so well. He’s going to kill himself with all the damage he’s doing.”
I scrambled to my feet and quickly grabbed my neatly folded clothes off the chair. Kai had obviously picked them up because last night they’d been scattered all over the room.
I pulled on the yoga pants. “I thought you didn’t care what happens to him.”
He shrugged. “He’d be better off with a bullet in his head, but”—he slowly walked toward me and when he reached me, he slid his hand in my hair and curved his grip into my neck—“he’s Georgie’s brother.”
I frowned as I watched the conflicting emotions in his eyes. He never called her Georgie. He always said Chaos and I think it had been to distance himself from her. But all that was changing.
“Fuck, if I could go back and change how shit went down…. I watched her grieve his death knowing Vault had him.”
I remained quiet because this wasn’t about me or Georgie or anyone else. This was Kai trying to come to terms with what he’d done for Vault. Forced. Trained. Conditioned. Whatever it may have been, Kai was fighting what he’d done. But there was no going back.
He lowered his head and pressed his lips to mine, his fingers tightening on my neck before he pulled back. “I know why Vault wants us like machines, London. It’s because of this. What I feel for you. What I’d do for you.” He sighed and whispered, “Anything.”
And he had. Kai had kept himself from caring and suddenly, he was surrounded by people who cared about one another and was realizing that this stemmed further than just him protecting me. It was about him breaking free from Vault and letting in what they’d tried to eradicate from him.
He pulled back and slid his hand down my arm until our fingers linked. “Go grab something to eat. I have to help with Connor.”
I nodded, watching as he grabbed his bag then left the room.
I slipped into the rest of my clothes, went to the bathroom, and brushed my teeth. As I came out of the bedroom, Georgie came out of hers, pink strands wild and covering half her face, but I still saw the red-rimmed, blood-shot eyes. She briefly looked at me then turned and ran for the basement door.
“Georgie.” Shit. This wasn’t going to be good.