“Babe,” he said as almost a warning. There was no getting out of this one. I knew I had to tread carefully. Not only because the truth would no doubt turn Zane into a mindless macho ball of fury, but because the truth needed to stay buried. For my safety. Or more importantly, for Lexie’s.
“Lexie’s dad was the first escape I ever got. First show of affection of love I ever had.” I paused. “At least my fifteen-year-old brain thought it was love.” I looked at Zane. “He wasn’t from a family like mine. They seemed happy. Loving. Normal. Something I craved. And when I got pregnant they weren’t angry, they supported me. Supported us. Moved me in, much to my parents’ dismay.” I wrinkled my nose at the memory. “It was the first time I’d seen them pay an extended amount of attention to me,” I told him. “Thought it was because they finally decided they loved me, finally muddled through their drug-addled brains to find some affection for their only daughter,” I scoffed. “Like always, they weren’t worried about me, but their paycheck.”
Zane’s arms stayed tight around me and his gaze burned into mine. He silently urged me to continue.
“His parents…Lexie’s dad’s,” I was careful not to say his name. “They sorted it. Moved me and him into a house next to theirs. Lexie was born, best day of my life,” I declared. “Never thought you could love someone that much,” I smiled. “I thought I finally had a family. It was okay for a while.” I struggled not to get gripped by the memories, not to go in too deep and betray too much. “Then it wasn’t. So I left. With Lexie, then found Steve and Ava. They only had one hotel then, wasn’t much but I was desperate for a job to feed me and my baby.” I didn’t add I was desperate for a hiding place. “And all of the big places wouldn’t take on a kid with no experience. Ava and Steve did. Gave me somewhere to stay, a job, a way to feed my baby.” I paused, trying not to choke up. “Finally gave me a family,” I said quietly. “Gave Lexie the most precious thing ever,” I added.
Zane stared at me for a long time, his gaze hard and soft at the same time. His hand moved to lightly trace down my eyebrow to my jaw. “Didn’t think you could get any more magnificent,” he said hoarsely. “Stand corrected, Wildcat.”
The reverence in his gaze, the emotion behind his words did it again. Even amidst the grief and sorrow, another little broken piece inside me melded back together.
The softness of his gaze didn’t last for long. “Lexie’s dad. Wanna elaborate on what made you leave him, babe?” he asked with a hardness to his voice that wasn’t there before.
I swallowed. “The blindness of first love wore off. I saw him for who he was, what he was,” I said honestly, hoping I didn’t have to lie too much. I couldn’t, not in this moment.
Zane’s face hardened in suspicion, in a kind of pre-rage. “What was he?” he bit out through clenched teeth.
I knew if I told him the truth his rage would consume him. He would probably try and find Lexie’s dad. No, he almost certainly would if I told him the whole truth. Whatever had happened between us lately, that pivotal change had showed me just how far he would go. I knew he would kill him if he knew what had happened all those years ago. As much as I wanted the asshole dead, I couldn’t risk it.
“Not who I thought he was,” I said simply. “I realized he didn’t love me, didn’t love Lexie. Didn’t want a family, wasn’t what we needed so I left,” I lied.
“He just let the two most beautiful girls on the planet leave him without a fight?” Zane half snarled in disgust and disbelief.
I nodded, trying to omit as many verbal lies as I could. “He was young. Reality of family life hit him. He didn’t want it.”
Zane’s face turned to granite. “And now? He’s no kid.”
I shrugged. “Now we still aren’t on his radar. I’m glad.” This was kind of not a lie.
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “Want to kill that motherfucker,” he bit out. “Letting you leave. Missing out on Lexie growing up. You growing up.” He shook his head in disgust. “Stupid fucker.”
I blanched slightly. If he wanted to kill him because he thought he abandoned us, he could never know the truth.
Zane cupped my jaw lightly, rage disappearing. “Also tempted to thank the stupid fuck. If he wasn’t the asshole he was, I wouldn’t have you. Wouldn’t have Lexie,” he said quietly.
I didn’t know what to say, the rawness of past demons combined with the freshness of new grief making me hyper-sensitive to beautiful declarations coming from someone who didn’t give them often. I didn’t have the words, so I let actions speak for me. I leaned up to kiss him lightly, tenderly, pouring all of my feelings for him into one kiss. The kiss turned from tender to frenzied in a matter of seconds. And before I knew it, Zane had lifted me and pinned me down. He then preceded to fuck my brains out.