Dealing with the police was a nightmare. Having to go through interviews while they didn’t tell us a freaking thing about why this happened to Steve and Ava, only that it was a burglary gone wrong.
Through all of it, Zane had been there, by our sides. Mostly silent, but he spoke when he needed to, when it mattered. He was always close to me, touching me as often as he could, claiming me. It would be hard to call it affectionate, but it was somehow tender, even though he stayed stoic and blank-faced most of the time. His tender looks were saved for me and Lexie. He didn’t shy away from giving gestures to show he was claiming her too. Brushing her hair out of her face, squeezing her hand, bringing her into his shoulder in the moments when she couldn’t smile through her grief. He had made it clear to the world, and to us, he was inserting himself in our lives, in our family. Lexie hadn’t questioned this; she had attached herself to Zane in a way that made me think she was claiming him too. She didn’t even blink when he stayed in the same room as me in the suite we had at the hotel. The suite he insisted he pay for when I realized I couldn’t stay in Steve and Ava’s home, the first home Lexie and I’d had after we escaped Hell.
It was then, the first night in the hotel after the exhaustion of travelling and organizing the funeral, that I let Zane in on why I couldn’t face it.
He had just made love to me. Nothing like the desperate, furious fucking we used to have prior to the party. Prior to him leaving me. This was a different kind of desperation. A desperation for him to imprint himself onto every part of me. Worship every part of me. Own my body. And my soul.
So after he was finished I was lying in his arms, tucked tight into his chest. We were silent, like we usually were after we made love. I was only just getting used to being able to relax, to bask in the intimacy of the moment and fall asleep feeling safe, which was why we were normally silent. Zane, because he was well...Zane and me because I was too busy in my own head, enjoying the moment to bother with words. A first for me. So I was especially surprised when Zane spoke.
“Weren’t your parents,” he said quietly.
I jerked slightly, not only at the fact he was speaking but also at the fact the words seemed like we were already halfway through a conversation.
“Pardon?” I asked, more out of shock than confusion.
“Steve and Ava,” he clarified, shifting me slightly so I could meet his eyes. “They weren’t your parents. You speak about them like they were, like they were grandparents to Lexie,” he said.
I tried to ignore the stab of pain that seemed to come with every thought, every memory of them. I failed. “They were,” I spoke quietly. “Parents to me, my best friends, grandparents to Lexie. Hell, Steve was the only father Lexie ever knew. They were my parents in everything but blood,” I told him.
His eyes searched mine. “Your real folks?” he asked.
I was surprised at this curiosity; he was genuinely asking. I couldn’t help but laugh without humor. “Who knows, probably wherever they can get the most drugs for the lowest price—rotting in the same trailer park I grew up in, most likely,” I said bitterly.
Zane jerked slightly and his eyes turned hard.
“Steve and Ava were everything to me. They were the only people to give me unconditional love, apart from Lexie,” I said honestly. “My parents,” I scoffed, “I’m loath to even call them that. They didn’t give a shit about me. I was merely a way to get some more money on the benefit, get their next fix,” I told him. “That’s why they fed me enough to survive, clothed me so I didn’t freeze. See, if something happened to me, I got taken away, so would a payday.” I shrugged. “I’m luckier than a lot of people I grew up with. They didn’t hit me, didn’t abuse me. Just barely acknowledged me.” I met his eyes, which seemed to be glittering. “I took care of myself since I was young enough to be able. Got out of there as soon as I could.”
I skipped the part where I jumped out of the frying pan and into the fricking fire. Fire I didn’t even notice until it almost killed me.
Zane was silent for a long moment. “Then Lexie?” he guessed correctly.
I smiled. “Then Lexie. Best thing that has ever happened to me,” I told him honestly. Though the person holding me was quickly coming a close second. Not that I said that.
He seemed to search my face for a while. “Her dad?” he asked blandly.
I tensed. Zane hadn’t asked me once about Lexie’s father, which I had been glad about. He seemed to be protective of her since before we were anything, but his protectiveness didn’t seem to translate to a need to know about her father. Until now. My movement was not lost on Zane and his arms tightened around me. He frowned down at me.