Yoss lowered himself onto the grass and I sat down beside him. “At least he’s sober today,” he said.
“What’s going on with him?” I asked, worried about the blond-haired boy who had become my friend.
Yoss leaned back on his elbows in the grass, crossing his legs at the ankle. I rolled onto my side, propping my head up with my hand, twirling a blade of grass as I watched Bug twitch in his sleep.
Yoss’s face hardened. “He’s got problems. I mean we all do. But Bug’s are worse than mine. They’re worse than Shane’s or Di’s. He’s into some dangerous stuff that will eventually get him killed. He’s not smart about when and how he gets his drugs. He doesn’t think.”
“Di had mentioned that he works for Manny sometimes. Like you…” My words drifted off. I instantly felt bad for mentioning Manny on a nice day like this.
Yoss let out a frustrated breath. “Imi, there are things that you don’t need to know about. I don’t want—” He stopped talking abruptly.
“You don’t want what?” I asked.
“You know. I know that you know. But I’m afraid if you hear the details, you’ll look at me differently. That you wouldn’t—”
Yoss glanced over at me and my heart thudded painfully. He ran his thumb down the side of my face. “I’ve had to do things that I regret. I still do things that I regret. All the damn time. I wish things could be different. But for a guy like me, there are very few options. But that day I walked up to you when you were crying, I went against my instincts that told me to leave you alone. Because I knew that you would change my life. And you did. In the second it took for you to look at me things were different. You’re one of the only things I’ve ever gotten right, Imogen. Don’t you get that?”
“That’s bullshit, Yoss. You have options just like everyone else!” I protested.
Yoss smiled softly. “I love your idealism. I just don’t want you to stop looking at me the way you do right now. I’ve lived through a lot, but I don’t think I could survive that. And if we talk about this—about Manny—that look in your eyes will disappear.”
I opened my mouth, prepared to argue with him. But his expression had me swallowing my words.
“Oh my god! Imi!”
A couple of girls from school were walking past the tennis courts. I wanted to hide my face. Pretend I didn’t hear them. But I didn’t. What would be the point?
They were carrying towels, obviously headed for the public pool. I recognized them as Becky Plimpton, a girl I sometimes had lunch with, and Fiona Jones who I had known since Kindergarten. Both waved at me enthusiastically.
I glanced at Yoss and noticed that he was now sitting up, watching the group approach us. I didn’t want to talk to them. I should have known better than to come to a park where I was likely to run into people I knew.
“Where the hell have you been, girl? You’ve missed all the good parties this summer!” Becky exclaimed stopping at my feet and giving me a big smile. Becky was a nice enough girl, a little on the ditzy side, but harmless.
Fiona glanced at Yoss, her eyes widening slightly. I knew what she saw. She saw a hot guy with longish black hair, beautiful green eyes, and a face to stop your heart.
I wanted to snarl at Fiona and her obvious interest.
“Are you going to introduce us to your friend?” she asked sweetly.
Yoss lifted his hand in a halfhearted wave. “I’m Yoss, Imi’s boyfriend.”
Boyfriend.
He was my boyfriend. I grinned like a fool.
Fiona and Becky exchanged a look. “Oh, I had no idea you were dating anyone,” Becky said.
“Yeah, well you know…” I let my words trail off.
“I heard you’re not living at home anymore. That you’re staying down at that place by the river where all the homeless people are. Is that true?” Fiona asked, aghast.
Yoss was all tension beside me.
Becky didn’t seem to notice his discomfort. “You’re coming back to school though, right? You’re a definite for Homecoming court this year!”
I wanted to laugh at her idiocy.
Homecoming court?
Really?
Couldn’t she tell that I didn’t give a shit about any of that? I was pretty sure my dirty shirt and stained jeans gave away my zero fucks.
“I don’t think—”
“You should bring Yoss to the dance! It’ll be awesome! Becky and I were discussing themes and we’re thinking Totally 80s. I was talking to Amanda the other day and she said we should all get together next week and start planning. It’ll be here before you know it!” Fiona prattled on.
I looked at Yoss. He had shoved his hands into his pockets and had moved off to stand by the picnic tables.
“I don’t think I’ll be going to the dance,” I said. I wanted them to leave. That feeling from earlier resurfaced. The one where I felt as if I were missing out. I didn’t like it. If I let those feelings in, I was pretty sure I’d lose it.
Becky gasped. “How can you say that? It’s our junior year!” She turned to Yoss. “Tell her how important it is! It’s Homecoming! It’s a rite of passage to go!”