My chin was sticky and Yoss laughed as he wiped my face. “I can’t take you anywhere,” he joked, licking caramel off his finger.
We were standing in line to get into the House of Mirrors. Karla, Shane, and Di were watching the really bad band play on the stage. Yoss had gotten us a few tickets for the attractions and I felt like maybe, it was a date.
Did homeless kids actually have dates? Was it possible?
Is that was this was?
“I’m a messy eater, what can I say?” I shrugged, grinning the whole time.
“You’ve got some on the corner of your mouth.” Yoss ran his thumb along my lower lip and our eyes met. They heated. They boiled over.
He was going to kiss me. Finally.
I leaned in. He leaned in. We were so, so close.
My eyes fluttered shut and I waited to feel his mouth on mine.
Then nothing.
I opened my eyes to find Yoss had taken a step back and was staring at something just over my right shoulder. He looked as though he were going to throw up.
I turned around and didn’t see anything that would cause his expression. I only saw families. Lots of screaming children. A few flustered mothers and a bunch of indulgent fathers.
“Yoss? What is it?” I asked.
An older man with dark hair greying at the temples stood behind us with a small child. The little girl at his knee had bouncing blonde curls and a heart shaped face. She tugged on the man’s jeans.
“Daddy! I wanna go see the clown!” she whined.
Her daddy wasn’t listening to her. Because he was staring at Yoss intensely. Looking like, he too, was going to be ill.
Yoss turned quickly away. I recognized his shame. His disgust.
At first I wondered if this was Yoss’s father, but I knew, deep down, that wasn’t who the man was.
There was something odd in the way he stared at Yoss. There was recognition there.
But it was wrong.
“Yoss,” I whispered urgently, trying to get his attention.
“I think I’d rather go check out the Tilt-A-Whirl instead, okay,” Yoss said lightly, forcing a smile.
I glanced back at the dad who was now holding his daughter close to his chest, stroking her hair, trying not to look at Yoss. And failing.
“Come on.” Yoss was already moving out of line. He didn’t take my hand again. He didn’t even look to see if I was behind him.
“Where’s the fire?” I called out, struggling to keep up with him.
Yoss came up short and I almost collided with his back. “Are you hungry? I can get you a hamburger. I’ve got money.” He pulled the cash out his pocket again and I noticed that his hand was shaking.
“Who was that, Yoss?” I asked him.
“Come on, the hamburger stand is back this way.” Yoss pulled on my hand, but I wouldn’t move.
“Who was that? Tell me!” I may have shouted a little. I noticed that a few people were looking at us. I made sure to lower my voice before I spoke again. “Who was that man?”
Yoss bent down so that his face was close to mine. “Sometimes you make good choices. Sometimes you make bad ones. But they’re all made for a reason that seems to make sense at the time.” He closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them again, they burned and I almost forgot to breathe. “I keep making those kind of decisions. They seem logical. I have my reasons. But then I look at you and I realize that those reasons aren’t good ones. But I’ve been stuck for a long time, Imi. I’m not sure that I know how to get unstuck.”
“I’ll help you, Yoss. You help me every single day, let me do the same for you.”
He lifted our clasped hands and pressed them to his chest. I could feel the excited thump of his heart beneath his shirt. “You feel that?” I nodded. We stared at each other, long and hard. There was so much I wanted to say. I opened my mouth. Closed it again. Overwhelmed, but hopeful.
Yoss tapped my hand in time with the beating beneath my palm. He smiled. Just a small one. “I think that’s me getting unstuck.” He squeezed my hand and I felt full.
The moment was tense. But it was the best kind of tension.
Yoss kissed the back of my hand and I felt it everywhere. In my fingertips. In my toes. Deep down in my heart. “I want to buy you a hamburger. Or some cotton candy. Or a funnel cake.”
I shook my head. “You don’t need to buy me anything.”
What I didn’t say is that I didn’t want him to use that money. But I had a good idea who that man was. And some of that money in Yoss’s pocket had most likely belonged to him.
“I like buying you things. It makes me happy,” Yoss admitted almost shyly. He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “Earlier, Di called you my girl.” He cupped the side of my neck. “Are you?”
“Am I what?” I asked, being deliberately obtuse.
“Are you my girl?” He sounded breathless. His whole body vibrating with anticipation.
“How can I be your girl when you haven’t even kissed me yet?” I asked boldly.
“I’m scared to kiss you,” he whispered, his lips quivering, his green eyes full.
My blood whooshed noisily in my ears and I felt a little lightheaded. We were so close, but I wanted to be closer.