To them, it was as simple as that. They were friends. More than that, they were family. And they accepted Yoss’s feelings for me and embraced me because of it.
I looked at the tough girl with the tattoos and piercings and smiled. “He means a lot to you, doesn’t he?”
Di played with the ring in her lip and looked thoughtful. “I met Yoss right after I left home. I was fourteen. I was coming down hard from some serious shit. My parents had thrown me out after finding dope in my room for the third time. Not that I blame them, I guess. I was a serious pain in the ass.” Di smirked a little painfully.
“Anyway, I ended up here and some jackass started messing with me.” She glanced at me out of the corner of my eye. “Yoss stood up for me. He wasn’t much older than I was, but that guy took off. Yoss stayed with me the whole night. He made sure I was okay. He stayed with me while I came off the drugs. Man, he rubbed my back while I puked my guts out. He didn’t have to do that.”
She inclined her head towards Bug, Karla, and Shane. “He’s done that for all of us. He’s been there, looking out for us. No matter what.”
“It seems to be his MO,” I murmured.
“Yeah, he has a bit of a savior complex, but that’s what makes him different than the rest of the assholes out here. He’s not just looking out for himself. He looks out for everyone. And when he cares about you, he’ll never turn his back. No matter what.”
“Where is he, Di? Where does Manny take him?” I had asked her.
“You and I both know what’s going on. But if you want the details, you need to talk to Yoss. It’s his story to tell.” Di had gotten to her feet. “Come hang out, Imi. It’ll make waiting for him to come back easier.”
And that one sentence had bonded us. Our friendship began and I was thankful for it.
“You want to go to the carnival? Seriously?” Di asked incredulously. “It’ll be a bunch of kiddie rides and bad music.”
Yoss looked down at me, his eyes sparkling. “What do you think, Imi? Should we go?” He sounded excited and I would never be able to say no to him when he looked like that.
“Sounds good to me,” I agreed and Yoss grinned.
“Ugh, okay. But how are we gonna get in?” Di griped.
“We’ll find a way in. Don’t worry about it, Di.” Yoss ran his hand over her shorn head and she swatted his arm.
“You in Bug?” Di asked, sitting up.
Bug was laying on his back, staring up at the sky, his eyes glassy and unfocused. “What?” he asked, his voice strange.
I saw that Di and Yoss shared a look. “We’re heading into town. Come with us. It’ll be fun,” Yoss said, letting go of my hand and getting to his feet.
“I don’t know. I think I’m good here,” Bug said, his words slurred.
Yoss’s face darkened. He went to stand over his friend and peered down at him. “What are you on, dude? I thought you were staying away from that shit.” Yoss was angry. Really, really angry.
I didn’t understand why he looked so murderous. It wasn’t unusual for Bug to be lit. He smoked pot as much as he was able. But lately it had become obvious that weed wasn’t his only drug of choice.
Di yanked on Yoss’s arm, pulling him back. “Just leave him, Yoss. You know you can’t talk to him when he’s like this.”
Yoss made a noise of disgust. “You’re gonna kill yourself, you fucking idiot. That crap you buy from Dez is nothing but bleach and cough syrup. What the hell are you doing?”
Bug lifted a sluggish hand and waved away Yoss’s comment. “Shut up, I’m not on anything. Maybe just a little bud. Leave me alone.” Then he rolled onto his side, his fingers running through the grass over and over again. “I just want to stay here and feel the earth. That’s all. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Come on, we just have to leave him,” Di urged.
“What’s wrong with him?” I whispered. Most of the time Bug was a funny, sweet kid. But there were times he was something else.
“He’s a junkie, that’s what’s wrong with him,” Yoss growled. He grabbed my hand again and pulled me towards the embankment. “Come on. Let’s go to the carnival. If he chokes on his own vomit, that’s on him.”
I had never heard Yoss sound so pissed off. It worried me. I glanced back at Bug and he hadn’t moved. Di followed us as we made our way into town, following the curves of the railroad tracks.
“Shouldn’t someone stay with him—” I started to suggest. It wasn’t like Yoss to be so dismissive about his friends.
“He’ll be okay, Imi. He does this shit all the time,” Yoss said more gently, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket and lighting it. “He went three weeks this time without using that crap. I had hoped…” His words trailed off, blowing a cloud of smoke into the air.
“You know as well as I do that he can’t just stop, Yoss. Don’t be so na?ve,” Di chastised.
“You did,” Yoss pointed out, flicking ash onto the ground.
“Yeah, well I wasn’t willing to do the things Bugs does to score. Not all of us have the stomach for that,” she said and Yoss tensed, his face stony.