An hour later, my phone had been turned on and I paced the floor while Mom looked at flights into Colorado.
I’d tried Landon at least three times, but he wasn’t answering. Probably because he was in the air. Finally, I took a deep breath and called the one number I’d never thought I would again.
“Rachel?” I’d never been so relieved to hear Wilder’s voice.
“Is he there yet?” I asked.
“What? Who?”
“Landon? Who else would I be calling you about?” I snapped.
“Someone’s got her shitty attitude back.”
“Wilder!”
He sighed. “No. He’s not here. He called from LAX when you didn’t bother to fucking show up for him and canceled his ticket. Now, thanks to you, he’s missing the qualifications for the Big Air competition, which was the one he didn’t medal in last year, so he doesn’t get the automatic in.”
Okay, now I felt like an even bigger shithead.
“I’m sorry. I slept through my alarm.”
Wilder was silent.
“Wilder? Did you hear me?”
“Seriously?” he asked. “This isn’t some test to see if he loves you? If he’ll put you above everything? Because I’m pretty sure he just fucking proved it, and if that’s the kind of shit you’re going to put him through—”
“Will you stop fucking talking? How the hell does Leah put up with you? No, it’s not some test. My mom turned off my alarm because we had a huge family thing last night and she didn’t know I needed to catch a flight. That’s it.”
“Well, he’s not here. Thanks to you.”
“Can we move past that and discuss where he is?”
“Did you try his place?” Wilder asked.
I rubbed my forehead. “No, I thought the guards might laugh at me if I showed up asking about his whereabouts.”
“Guards?”
“Yeah, those scary, armed dudes who stand outside the gates?”
Wilder laughed. “That’s his parents’ place. Not his.”
Why hadn’t I thought of that? “Okay, where is his place?”
“Oh, this is rich.”
“Wilder! For fuck’s sake!”
“Rachel!” Mom snapped at me as she came back into the room. “Language!”
I tried to inhale some patience with that breath. “What’s his address, Wilder?”
He told me, and I blinked, then opened and shut my mouth. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, that’s not something I could forget. And apparently it wasn’t something he could forget, either.”
I hung up the phone, kissed my mom on the cheek. “I think I found him!”
“Good. I think I may have found the way to get you to Aspen.”
“What?”
She told me her plan, and I was all smiles as I ran out the door. This might work! My chest tightened and threatened to explode with how much I loved that man. All the hell I’d put him through, every test, every snarky comment—he’d taken them all and waited for me.
And as I pulled up to his place, I realized he hadn’t been waiting overnight for me to show up—he’d been waiting two and a half years.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Landon
Los Angeles
I threw a tennis ball at the wall and caught it repeatedly while the first qualifying round of the Big Air event played on the big screen in my living room.
I could still make my spot for the third round tonight if I left soon, but it would cost me the one thing I wasn’t willing to give up: Rachel.
She’d missed the fucking plane.
What was I supposed to do with that? Was it her way of telling me we were over? That we had no chance? Did she think I’d go without her and prove her right?
My jaw tightened, and I threw the ball harder, catching it as it snapped back. Better the ball than the cell phone I’d pulverized an hour ago when our plane had taken off without us. She hadn’t shown, her phone had gone straight to voicemail, and mine had gone straight into the arrival lane of traffic, where it had been unceremoniously run over by a taxi.
What if this was it? What if there really was no way to get through to her? No way to show her what she meant to me? What if everything had been in vain?
Questions fired through my brain faster than I could answer myself. I felt like I was on pause, waiting for the next time she’d hit play. I couldn’t even settle on an emotion—they were all over the place. I was frustrated that she couldn’t just fucking talk to me like every other girl on the planet. She’s not like any other girl on the planet—that’s one of the reasons why you love her. Touché, brain.
I was hurt that she hadn’t shown, confused as to why. If I had to be honest, I was completely fucking pissed off that I hadn’t warranted a phone call.
But none of that compared to the stark, empty feeling that immediately preceded the terror I tried to keep at bay. Rachel was my center, my gravity, the perfect balance to me in every way. She was the only woman I would ever love, and I couldn’t picture my life without her now that I finally had her back.
I wanted our future.
What the fuck was I going to do if she didn’t?
I couldn’t live without her—couldn’t go back to the empty shell I’d been before she’d shown up. My breaths came so quickly that I nearly looked for a paper bag to keep from hyperventilating.
Calm the fuck down.
It took a few minutes, but my breathing and heart rate came back to normal. I wished I could have said the same for my brain. It was on overdrive, trying to think of every possible scenario as to where Rachel could be.
Was she testing me? Just the thought of that sent another wave of anger through me.
The clock read a little after two p.m. The pizza I ordered would be here any minute and then, after I’d gotten rid of the hangries, I’d go over to her house and make her see that I loved her. I’d hold a goddamned boom box over my head if that was what it took.
Yeah. That’s what I’d do. I’d blare “Skinny Love” and let her be blown away that I still remembered her favorite movie and our favorite song…as soon as I figured out where the fuck to get a boom box.
The doorbell rang, rescuing me from my lame romantic plans, and I headed for the pizza that would save me from any more hunger-based dementia.
I grabbed a pen on my way so I could sign the receipt and opened the door. “Hey, there…” My mouth dropped to the floor. “Rachel?”
She looked edible in her jeans that were slightly ripped at the knee and vintage tee. “You live here?”
“Yeah,” I said quietly, more stunned that she’d shown up to find me than the fact that she’d discovered the last secret I’d kept from her. “How did you know?”
“Wilder,” she said, tucking her thumbs in her jeans.
“Right.”
She looked at me expectantly. “Are you going to invite me in?”
I shook the cobwebs from my brain. “Yeah, of course.” I opened the door to its full width, and she stepped inside, her eyes sweeping over the space and no doubt cataloging the changes I’d made in the last couple of years.
“They told me I had to find someone to take over the lease or pay the full year,” she said, her voice quiet.
“Your dad called me. I told him I’d take care of it.”
“He assumed you’d paid the lease fee.”