“Commercial?” She quirked an eyebrow. “Slumming it with us normal people?”
I laughed. “All my extra money went to a private plane overseas. Now I’m on a budget until we figure out how to swing the circuit, since Pax’s dad confirmed that he’s only funding the documentary. You’re worth it,” I promised softly.
She looked away, and I wondered how long I had before she tried to bolt again. Heaviness settled in my stomach. Was there any way I would ever actually earn back her trust, or was I always going to be watching for her to run?
“Don’t wait on me,” she instructed, and I prayed she only meant for the X Games. “You can’t afford it, and I won’t be the reason you miss your medals. Not that you’d actually miss them.”
I breathed through the spark of anger her words sent through my veins. What the hell did I have to do to prove to her that she was more important?
“I’m not leaving without you. I mean it,” I said in the most serious tone I could muster without letting my absolute rage seep through. “Didn’t Nepal prove that to you?” I’d given more than my pound of flesh, and I wasn’t asking the same from her—just the tiniest glimmer of trust. How much more could I fucking take before I snapped on her and set us back when our relationship status was already so delicate?
“You did,” she admitted. “But this is different. You won’t let Wilder down. With Penna out, they need you.”
“Well, I need you!” I put my hands over my face and took a deep breath. Then I tried to rein in the anger, the frustration, the terror that she’d walk into that house and her dad would somehow turn her against me permanently. “I love you, Rachel. You know that. And I’ll wait for as long as you need me to, but I’m begging you to start giving me the benefit of the doubt. I can love you with everything I have in me, but I can’t love you enough for the both of us. At some point you have got to stop taking hits at me just to see how far you can push before I’ll leave. I’m not leaving, but I’m not sure you can say the same, and that scares the shit out of me.”
She glanced away and then back to me, but after a minute of silence, I realized she wasn’t going to respond.
“Your parents are waiting,” I told her.
“Thank you for bringing me home,” she said. “Why don’t you just check us in for the flight. If I make it, then we’ll go. If I’m not there, go without me.”
My jaw flexed.
Before I could say something that would put us on the downward spiral, she kissed my cheek. “See you later.”
I nodded as the love of my life stepped out of the hired car and took her bag from the driver. She didn’t look back, not that I expected her to.
She still didn’t believe that I’d be standing there if she did.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Rachel
Los Angeles
The grandfather clock ticked its rhythmic beat behind me as I squared off against my parents in our living room. Scratch that—Mom’s living room. Dad hadn’t lived here for three months now.
“We’re happy to see you, sweetheart,” Mom said, crossing her legs and uncrossing them. “We’ve missed you so much.”
I took the small envelope out of the back pocket of my backpack and put it on my lap. Then I looked at my father.
“When I was thirteen and I had to have a blood transfusion after that skiing accident where I cut open my leg, you told me that it was okay because it would be your blood, that it was a miracle we were the same blood type.”
Dad shifted in his seat. “Yes. You recovered.”
“It wasn’t a miracle, was it?” I asked softly.
Mom’s eyes widened to saucers. “Rachel, what are you asking?”
I put the picture of my dad and Seo-yun on the coffee table between us and pushed it in his direction, never breaking our stare.
Mom gasped and covered her mouth.
Dad sagged in his chair, like I’d popped the balloon that kept him upright. Then he smiled. “It wasn’t a miracle.”
“Because you’re my biological father,” I said.
Mom whimpered while Dad’s eyes watered. “Because I’m your biological father.”
I’d already known that, but hearing him admit it felt like the last piece of the puzzle I’d been looking for fell into place. In that moment, it was Landon’s voice in my head, telling me that maybe they’d kept the secret for so long because it had simply been that long.
“I have two questions.”
“Of course,” he said, his voice tight.
“Why the lie?”
My parents locked eyes, and I saw it then, the years of partnership, friendship, love, and parenthood that all passed within a glance. Dad nodded, and Mom took a deep breath.
“Because I was embarrassed. Not of you, Rachel. Never you…”
“Because you were married when it happened,” I guessed. “I did the math. It happened right after Dad left Dartmouth and did his three years to appease his father. Right?”
Mom nodded, the movement causing a small cascade of tears down her cheeks. “We were on the rocks. We’d been married three years, and we’d just learned that I was infertile. Your dad went to Korea for a year, and I didn’t know if we’d make it through.”
“I didn’t know about you,” he told me. “Not until Mrs. Rhee called me from the orphanage saying that Seo-yun had died. At that point, your mom and I were falling apart—I’d told her about the affair, and we were in the process of consulting lawyers about divorcing.”
“But you didn’t,” I said, knowing that I had been what kept their marriage together. I looked at Mom. “You forgave him? With me?”
Her lip trembled. “Not at first. I yelled, I screamed, I cursed God that he could have a child when I couldn’t, that his affair had given him the one thing I never would be able to. But…” She looked over at my dad.
“I couldn’t raise you on my own, and she knew it,” he continued. “I never stopped loving your mom. I can’t regret what happened in Korea because we have you, but I begged her take me back—to take us—and she did.”
Mom smiled at Dad and laughed a little. “I took him back because I loved him, and because more than anything, I wanted to be your mother.”
My chest tightened, and I blinked back the tears that prickled at my eyes. “You are,” I told her.