Next to Me

I flip on my side, watching him dress. "I'm not your girlfriend."

"Doesn't matter. They'll still call you that." He comes over to the bed and sits next to me, smiling. "Would the girl I'm in an undefined relationship with mind going out and getting us some breakfast? I'll give you some money."

"Yeah, I can do that."

He kisses me, then sits back, looking at me with concern. "Are you sure you're okay? You'd tell me if you weren't, right?"

"Nash, stop asking me if I'm okay. I'm fine."

He's already treating me differently. Acting differently. All because of what I said last night, and because of what Katie said. This is why I can't tell him the truth. I don't want him feeling sorry for me, walking on eggshells, afraid to talk to me because he thinks he'll say the wrong thing. Lou acted like that for months after the accident and I hated it. I'm not going to have Nash act the same way. We have a few short months together, then before he moves back to Chicago, I'll tell him the truth. He'll be so angry at me for lying to him that he'll leave me alone. He'll never speak to me again. And I'll go on like I have the past year, surviving one day at a time.

After I have breakfast with the guys, I go inside and clean the house, which I usually do on Saturdays, not Sundays. Nash has got my schedule all messed up, which normally would make me feel nervous and anxious, but surprisingly I'm okay.

I dust around Greg's book on the side table in the living room, taking a deep breath and pretending it's just a book, not a memory. But then I see him there in his chair, reading, with Ben sound asleep on his shoulder, and it starts again.

One, two, three, four, five...

"Callie?" I stop when I hear a voice at the door. It's Austin.

"Hey." I smile, but I'm panicking, wondering if he heard me. "You need something?"

"I just need to use the bathroom."

"Go ahead."

He doesn't have to ask, but it's nice that he does. His brothers do the same, always announcing themselves at the door and then asking before they come in. I really like Nash's brothers. They're really sweet guys. Very considerate and polite. And I don't think it's because Nash told them to act that way. I think that's just how they were raised.

"Tell the guys I'm making lunch again," I say to Austin when he comes out from the bathroom.

"We thought we'd just go out for lunch so you wouldn't have to make it."

His bare chest with those chiseled muscles, glistening with sweat, is making it hard to concentrate. I wonder how many hours a day he has to work out to look that way?

"I don't mind making lunch," I say, forcing my focus back to what we were talking about. "Tell them lunch is at noon."

"I will. Thanks." He leaves, but then comes right back, a grin on his face. "Nash would kill me for saying this but..."

"What?" I ask.

"He's totally into you. He said you two aren't dating, but I know he wants that. He never looked at Marissa the way he looks at you. He told you about Marissa, right?"

"A little. I know they were engaged."

"I never liked her. None of us did, but we didn't say much to Nash about it because we were trying to be supportive. Thank God he didn't end up with her. You're so much better." His grin reappears. "Anyway, I just wanted to say that. Don't tell Nash. He'll kick my ass."

Austin leaves before I can say anything, although I don't know what I'd say. Nash has made it clear he wants to date me, but that's too much of a commitment. We need to keep this casual. We can be friends who make out, or do more than that, but not friends who tell each other everything. I can't get too close to him. If I do, it'll be that much harder when he leaves.

Nash walks in. Unlike his brothers, he doesn't announce himself. He just walks right into the kitchen to fill his cup with ice. He acts like he lives here. It bothered me when he did this when I first met him, but now I kind of like it.

"What are you up to?" he asks, stopping to give me a kiss. Somehow our relationship went from talking and flirting to kissing whenever he sees me. How did that happen? I'm not sure, but I don't mind it.

"I'm just cleaning the house." I reach down and dust the coffee table. It doesn't really need it but I dust it anyway.

"Is this a good book?"

I glance over and see Nash holding Greg's book. It hasn't been moved since the day they died.

Before I can even think, I scream, "Put it down!"

He's too startled to move, looking at me like I'm crazy. Maybe I am, but I don't want him touching that book.

"Put it down!" I scream again, shaking a little.

He drops the book on the table. "Why are you screaming?"

I move the book so that it's exactly how it was before, slightly angled toward the couch.

Nash sets his cup of ice on the coffee table. "Callie, what's going on?"

"Nothing." I take some breaths, hoping to appear normal, but knowing that's shot to hell after what he just witnessed. "Go outside. I need to finish cleaning."

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