She looks at me completely bewildered, as though she doesn’t believe what I said. Her mouth opens and closes, with nothing coming out.
I only want to give her pleasure. I can see how easily it would work. She’d benefit as much as I would. But it was never meant to leave the office. It can’t be… more.
This is dangerous. More for her than me. It’s one thing to take her as a fuck buddy for mutual enjoyment and keeping things limited to the office. That’s what I had in mind when I saw her in Vegas. Nothing more than that. But I didn’t anticipate feeling… guilty.
I hurt her, and I want to make it right. I think she just needs to see me in a different light. She has me built up as the enemy. I don’t want that.
I can take her out this one time. Just once. Just to smooth things over and get her naked on my desk tomorrow morning.
“No strings. No commitments. Just dinner.”
“That’s why you asked me to stay?” she asks with slight disbelief.
“Yes.” My heart hammers in my chest as I tell her again. “I just want to take you to dinner.”
Chapter 19
Charlotte
Just dinner. That’s what he says. A part of me wants to believe him, but I get the feeling that he wants more. It makes me feel uneasy, but a part of me wants more, too. I crave what happened in Vegas between us, it was the first time that I’ve felt anything since breaking up with Ian.
I feel like I should be telling him no and staying away. This whole relationship is wrong, and it won’t end well. I just know it. But I can’t resist him. He’s too tempting. And I’m addicted to him like a junkie that needs her next fix.
What if he holds it over my head if I turn him down? I wonder. This is liable to get out of hand.
Somehow, I doubt it. But even if he doesn’t, I feel like another hookup will only cause extreme tension in the boardroom and I don’t know if I can handle any more of that. Yet at the same time, it’s all I can think about.
I look out the tinted window of his Aston Martin as we ride through downtown, my mind racing with all sorts of thoughts. A call comes through his car speaker, the third since we started the drive, and we’ve only been driving for less than five minutes.
I see him watching me out of the side of his eye as he hits the hang up button on the touchscreen of the vehicle’s console. The sounds of soft, classical music fills the car once again. Beethoven.
I’m not usually one for this type of music, but I do find that i's easing the anxiety I feel in my stomach.
“You know,” I say, turning to look at him, “you can take the calls if you have to. I don’t mind.”
He glances over at me, and his lips quirk up into a smile. “I do. They can wait.”
My heart does a backflip. Logan is choosing me over what could be important business calls. It makes me feel special, but at the same time wary. I open my mouth to say something, and then pause. I’m not sure what I should say.
How about we stop this car and you fuck me right now? I think lustfully. I feel ashamed, but not as much as I did earlier. Not when he’s treating me like this. This makes things different. It makes them easier.
“Why didn’t you want to see me again?” Logan asks, breaking the silence.
“I never said I didn’t. It’s just that I was worried about my job and-”
“I’m talking about the note... In Vegas.” His voice is heavy, and I can almost feel his emotion. Pain laces my chest, and I cringe inwardly.
“Well you know what they say, what happens in Vegas…” I say, trying to make light of it, even though I feel guilty.
Logan chuckles, although it doesn’t seem genuine. “Indeed. Except, I didn’t stay in Vegas.”
He’s right about that.
The car slows at a red light and Logan looks out of the window, contemplating something. This car drives so damn smooth, it makes my Nissan Altima seem like a damn clunker. “So I was just a one-night stand?” he asks, turning to look at me.
I duck my head, wanting to hide in the backseat. “Yeah... something like that.”
Silence reigns between us for a moment and then he asks, “What about an office affair? Is that a fantasy of yours?”
Oh boy, I think to myself. I have a lot of fantasies, and I know you could fulfill every last one of them.
I want to say yes and tell him I’ll be his office slut, his whore, his... whatever he wants me to be, but I can’t find the strength to voice the words. Shit. I feel so damn conflicted about all this.
“It isn’t anything more than sex, Rose,” he tells me softly.
I suck in a breath filled with emotion. I love the way he calls me Rose. It makes me feel… special. But it couldn’t just be sex for me. Not now. I feel too... I’m scared to admit.