Million Love Songs

I refrain from saying, ‘It’s a date,’ because, quite obviously, IT IS a flipping date! Yay! Go me! I have a date with the rather delectable and previously reluctant Joe Edwards. Clearly, he can’t resist my skanky running look.

Now his kids are paying attention too. They’ve both looked up from their phones and are gaping, slightly open-mouthed. Take that, teens! The oldies still have it.

Waving, I set off again. IhaveadateIhaveadateIhaveadate! I also have wings on my feet all the way back to the granny annexe and, until I collapse gasping on the steps up to my flat with oxygen debt, I barely notice that I’m in complete agony.





Chapter Forty-Six





‘Swap shifts with me,’ I beg Charlie on our bench.

‘No.’

‘Pretty please.’

She sucks on her e-cigarette. ‘No, no, no. Thrice no.’

It’s too cold to be sitting out on the bench today, but I don’t want any of the other staff overhearing this conversation, particularly not our manager. Charlie and I huddle together and she pulls her jacket around her. Our summer is coming and going as British summers are prone to do. Yesterday, shorts and scorchio. Today, cold enough for coats. The sky is as flat and dreary as Farrow and Ball paint.

‘I can’t miss this date with Joe.’ I try to sound as pathetic as I can. ‘He could be the love of my life, the one I’ve been looking for.’

‘He’ll wait,’ Charlie says.

‘He might not.’ I do my imploring face. ‘He hardly ever gets any free time to himself. He’s always got his kids and his ex-wife yanks his chain.’

‘That should tell you something.’

But I don’t listen to that bit. ‘I’ll swap you one shift for two shifts. Double bubble.’

‘No. And don’t even think about phoning in sick and dumping your work on the rest of us.’

‘I would never do that.’ I was thinking of it.

‘I’ll grass you up to Shagger Soames.’

‘It’s just one little Saturday. I’ll never do it again. I promise.’

She sighs. ‘Have you ever heard of playing hard to get?’ Charlie fixes me with a stern gaze. ‘First you go running off to Paris with Shagger and we both know how that ended up.’ She makes lascivious movements with her fingers, giving me a flashback to the night of my threesome with Mason as my dear friend had intended.

I hold up a hand. ‘Don’t.’

Unperturbed, she continues, ‘Now you’re chasing after this bloke who’s saddled with a couple of surly kids.’

‘I’m not chasing him,’ I point out. ‘He’s the one who changed his mind.’ I hug my knees to my chest and try to pretend I’m not on the verge of shivering. ‘The thing is, there are so few good guys out there that I want the chance to grab one while I can.’ I don’t mention that I think Charlie is letting one of the good guys slip through her fingers. And I don’t mean Gary Barlow. She could have a lovely relationship with Nice Paul but, for very good reasons, she’s closed herself off to any possibility of that happening.

‘I can’t keep up with you,’ Charlie says. ‘One minute it’s all on with Shagger. The next it’s Joe. I don’t know how you cope.’

‘I confuse myself,’ I admit. ‘Though, in fairness, I haven’t even had a proper date with Joe yet and I haven’t seen Mason for weeks. I’m not in a mutually exclusive relationship with either of them.’

‘Mutually exclusive, eh? Big words. Sounds as if you’ve swallowed a copy of Cosmo. I should also point out that you’re not exactly in any sort of relationship with either of them.’

‘Good point, well made,’ I tell her.

The trouble is, I want to be cautious and not get involved with the wrong sort again. I know, like Charlie, you’re thinking of my dalliance with Mason – but that was me having fun. Although it didn’t quite turn out as I expected and I learned my lesson. This time, I’m staying away from the baddies. I’ve realised that I can’t do sex without strings. I like to be in a relationship. I’m coming to understand more of who I am and, at fast approaching forty years old, that has to be a good thing, right?

‘I want you to know that I’m doing this under extreme duress,’ Charlie says. ‘Also, because I have two Gary events on the calendar that I might need you to cover.’

‘I’ll do it,’ I say without hesitation.

‘OK. I’ll swap shifts,’ she says. ‘I’ll leave you to tell Jay.’

‘I love you.’

Charlie waves a hand, dismissively. ‘Cupboard love.’

‘Let’s hang out after we finish work tonight,’ I suggest. ‘We can watch a crap film and crack a bottle of something. My treat.’

‘Sounds like a plan,’ Charlie says. Then she fixes me with a stare. ‘You’re my best friend and I love you but don’t come crying to me when it all goes horribly wrong, Ruby Brown.’

‘I won’t. Cross my heart and hope to die.’ Besides, and I’m only telling you this, I have a very good feeling about this one.

Later, much later, I’m behind the bar pulling a pint when Mason rocks up at the pub. I’ve kind of been dreading seeing him and wondering why I haven’t at the same time.

‘Evening, Ms Brown,’ he says. ‘What are you doing behind the bar?’

‘Ben didn’t turn in for his shift. It’s all hands to the pump. Literally.’ Clearly our boss has finished his taxing stint at the Grand Prix season for the time being and is coming to see what his minions are up to. ‘The place has been madness.’

‘I’ll take over,’ he says.

‘I’m fine,’ I say a bit tartly. ‘I can manage.’

Mason sighs at me. ‘Brown, no need to fight me on everything. Let me help.’

So I capitulate and he finishes pulling the pint with expert skill. ‘I should have called,’ he says. ‘I’ve been busy, but it was very remiss of me.’

I shrug as if I couldn’t care less. Which I almost don’t. ‘I’ve been busy too.’

‘Come to the club tonight after we’ve finished here. We can catch up over cocktails.’ He puts a hand on my waist.

I slap his hand away. ‘That’s sexual harassment. Hands off the workers.’

‘You didn’t seem to protest too much in Paris,’ he reminds me and he gives me a cheeky squeeze. Part of me – a tiny part – is pleased to see Mason back in the pub and it’s not simply because we’re so short-handed tonight.

‘Ah. That was then. This is now.’

Mason laughs. ‘God, I’ve missed you, Brown. You and your pithy repartee. Come to the club. Let’s get drunk together.’

‘Can’t. I’ve promised Charlie I’ll watch a film at her place.’

‘Riveting. You can do that anytime. Bring Charlie too. Dirty Dancing can wait.’

‘Not tonight. But thanks for the offer.’

‘I want to know what you’ve been doing without me.’

‘Nothing.’ I decide to fess up. ‘My social life is a wasteland through which no one wanders.’

He frowns at me. ‘Then why are you looking so pleased with yourself?’

‘I’m not.’ Though I can’t suppress the smile on my lips.

‘You look like you’re harbouring a smug little secret.’

‘Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m not.’ Though I flush as I say it. Mason needs to know nothing about my love life as I need to know nothing about his. Though I do wonder whether he had another little ménage à trois on his travels. I expect so.

‘I’m having an official opening for the Vibe Lounge,’ he tells me. ‘Say you’ll come to that.’

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