But hearing him say it hurt. It felt like he was rejecting me, and worse, he was rejecting his own son. It felt like he wanted to toss me aside and use his money to somehow make himself feel better.
And as much as I wanted to storm away, I still needed him. The way he looked at me with that pained expression only made me want to kiss him that much more. It was so messed up, but I couldn’t help myself. I knew Vince wasn’t a bad man, that deep down inside him he was a decent guy, or at least the sort of man that protected the people he cared about. But it still hurt to be rejected, and I wanted to storm out of there.
I wasn’t going to do that, though. I wasn’t going to give him more reasons to want to abandon Alexei. Even if he didn’t want anything to do with me, I needed to be on good terms with him for Alexei’s sake.
I crossed my arms and waited for him to say something else, but he didn’t.
“Is that it?” I asked, finally breaking the silence.
“Yeah, guess so.”
“Do what you want, Vince. I’m not forcing anything on you.”
“Sure.”
I gave him a look and then turned and quickly walked away. I pushed open the door and left as fast as I could, hoping he mistook my fast exit for anger and not for hurt.
I didn’t want him to see the pain on my face. I had never expected him to instantly want to be a part of Alexei’s life, but there was still some small part of me that had thought he would want to be anyway.
I had to be more realistic and remember what kind of man Vince was. He was a killer, a mobster, a hard man.
I couldn’t expect him to go from a badass mafia crew leader to a baby’s daddy in a single day.
22
Vince
I hadn’t expected the look on her face.
Maybe she’d been trying to hide it, but she did a pretty shit job. I had seen the anguish and pain on her face clear as day as soon as I began talking.
I hadn’t expected that. She knew what I was and what I did, and I was already risking a lot to keep her safe. She couldn’t have expected to show up on my doorstep with some fucking baby and expect me to drop everything to become its father.
Most of all, I hadn’t expected how I’d react when I saw her in pain. I figured it would be uncomfortable, maybe a little awkward. I’d never told a chick I didn’t want to be her fucking baby daddy, castrated and pathetic, changing diapers all fucking day. But I really hadn’t expected feeling so shitty about the whole thing, and I’d instantly regretted saying it.
But she left before I had a chance to take it back. That shit was already out there anyway. It was hanging in the air, and there was no going back from that.
Fucking hell. I was trying to run a war while trying to figure out if I wanted to be a father or not. All the while, the mother of my kid was so fucking delicious that I felt like I wanted to throw her down and strip her clothes off every single time I was anywhere near her. That made it pretty difficult to keep my damn distance.
I gave her a minute before I left the plant room. Out in the hall, my phone began to buzz. It was a text from Lucas telling me to meet him in Arturo’s office in ten minutes.
I sighed to myself, shaking my head. What the fuck did Arturo want now? He was probably going to give me shit for killing those Russians, though I didn’t feel bad about it one bit. It was self-defense, and, plus, we were in a fucking war. I was going to be killing a lot more Russians before this thing was over.
I wandered the halls to kill a few minutes before finally ending up outside Arturo’s door. I knocked once.
“Come,” he said.
I pushed the door open. Lucas was sitting in one of the chairs in front of the desk, and Arturo gestured for me to sit.
“Good to see you, Vincent,” Arturo said. “I’m glad those Russian fucks didn’t get to you.”
“I’m not easy to kill, sir,” I said.
“Very good.” He looked at Lucas. “Tell him the good news.”
“We have your money,” he said.
“Good. Bao will be pleased.”
“As much as we care about his opinion,” Arturo said, “make sure the weapons are worth it. There is a lot of money in this.”
I nodded. “Everything will be good to go.”
Lucas stood up. “We’ll take care of it.”
I stood. “Thank you, sir.”
“Just keep up the good work. Kill some more of those fucks.”
I grinned. “I will.”
We turned and quickly left. Lucas shook his head, laughing. “I haven’t seen the old man worked up like that in a long time.”
“I thought he was going to be pissed about the dead bodies.”
“Pissed?” Lucas laughed again, shaking his head. “He’s fucking excited.”
“Guess he didn’t get to where he is by being afraid of violence.”
“Guess not.” We walked back through the hall, heading toward my office. “Money should be down with Rafa now. Arturo wants the guns here as soon as possible.”
“Got it. We’ll make the drop tomorrow.”
“Good. And hey, stop going into my mom’s fucking garden.”
I laughed. “How do you know?”