“The kid stuff.”
I shook my head. “None of your fucking business.”
“This is about your new son,” he said. “You having some problems?”
“Rafa, you keep pushing and I’ll break your fucking teeth.”
He grinned. “Okay, boss.”
We got back into the cars and the crew rolled out, heading toward the compound.
23
Kaley
I couldn’t stop thinking about Vince all that night.
I didn’t want to. I wanted to forget about him, accept his offer of money and just move on with my life. As soon as the war ended, I kept telling myself, I’d get off the compound and move away. I’d forget about Vince.
But I still couldn’t stop thinking about him. He was everywhere, in everything I did. Every time I looked at Alexei, I saw Vince. I heard the words he said to me back in that garden.
Expectations never failed to let us down, because expectations never mirrored reality. Our expectations were always filtered through our own distorted sense of self, our own distorted sense of the world, and our own distorted beliefs. And still it was always painful when our expectations were shattered and destroyed.
The cart came with my breakfast and I feed Alexei while watching TV. For a few minutes, I forgot that I was a single mother in the middle of a gang war, disowned by her family but also hunted by them at the same time. Instead, I pretended like I was sitting in a five-star hotel.
After ten minutes of that fantasy, there was a knock at the door. “Come in,” I called out, assuming it was Sonya.
I needed to stop assuming. Vince stepped inside, smirking at me. “Morning, mommy,” he said.
I made a face. “Oh god, no. Don’t.”
He laughed. “Okay, fine. Princess.”
“Better, but not much.”
“How’s it going?”
I shrugged. “Fine. What do you need?”
“Listen for a second.” He walked over and sat across from me, his muscles stretching and flexing as he sat. He wore a tight black T-shirt and jeans that fit him just right.
“Okay,” I said, confused.
“I saw something yesterday, and it made me want to try something.”
“Look, Vince, I’m not sure I’m into the weird stuff.”
He laughed. “Please, princess. If I wanted to fuck you, I’d fuck you any damn way I pleased.”
I blushed. “What do you want then?”
He held out his arms and looked at Alexei. “Can I?”
I paused, surprised. “Uh, sure.”
I stood up and walked Alexei over, placing him down in Vince’s arms.
Vince laughed. “He moves around a lot.”
“He’s just exploring the world.” I sat back down on the couch, eyeing him strangely. “Is this the only reason you’re here?”
He shrugged, watching Alexei. I sat in silence as Vince bounced Alexei and looked at him, Alexei staring back up at him. And then Alexei smiled, and Vince smiled, and I felt something very, very strange inside me.
Vince looked back up at me. “Yeah, this is why I’m here.”
“What could you have possibly seen that made you want to hold Alex?”
“Just a Chinese gangster with his granddaughter.”
“Oh,” I said. “I see.”
Although I didn’t, not really.
“Why don’t you let me watch Alex for a little while?” he asked.
“Uh, I don’t know about that. Can you handle it?”
“Sure,” he said. “If I have a problem, I’ll call Sonya.”
“Where should I go?”
“Actually, Lucas’s wife was looking for you.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“She said you had met already, asked me to send you to her room when you’re ready.”
“Oh,” I said, completely shocked and mystified. “This is a really weird morning.”
He laughed. “Yeah. No fucking shit.”
“Well, you’re sure you’re okay?”
“Fine. Just go. I’ll call Sonya if I need help.”
“Okay.” I stood up, staring at the two of them. Vince laughed and Alexei squirmed, smiling up at him. “Okay,” I said again. “Have fun I guess.”
Vince grunted at me, and I turned and walked toward the door. I put my hand on the knob, my stomach a knot of uncertainty.
This was what I wanted. So why did it feel so strange?
I turned the knob and left the room, letting the door shut behind me.
I had just left my son alone with his father, his gangster, killer father who yesterday said he wanted nothing to do with Alexei, and who now suddenly wanted to babysit. It was a pretty intense one-eighty turn, but I couldn’t pretend like I wasn’t happy about it.
I took a deep breath. Alexei was going to be just fine. Vince would call Sonya if something went wrong.
I began to walk down the hall, hoping he’d call her anyway. Just in case.
I found the door to Nat’s room standing open. “Hello?” I called out as I went inside.
“Come in.”
I saw Nat standing in the kitchen.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey yourself. Wine?”
I walked over to her and laughed. “Sure, okay.”