Live Me

When the focus returned to where it belonged, I whispered out the side of my face, “You did not just throw a packet of salt at me.” My eyes were wide with shock, my smile huge as short laughs snuck through my lips.

“Uh, yeah I did.” He looked so proud. “I had a feeling you’d go back to chowing down on those fingers.” Blake laughed openly at my still stunned expression.

“Oh, I gotta say, that was ten points right there. You win that round. Well played.” I found myself relaxing and enjoying the moment.

“Thank you, thank you.” He patted his own shoulder.

“Now hush before we get thrown out. I’m not off to a very good start here.” I sent him one last little smirk and focused my attention on the front of the room.

“Fine, fine. Have it your way,” he said, nudging his seat a couple of inches closer, as if that was his way of getting the last word.

For the most part, he was compliant for the remainder of the class. Every now and then I’d steal a glance his way and catch him staring. Each time he would play it off casually like he was only trying to copy my notes.

Knowing I’d have to make a quick getaway, I started packing up my books a couple of minutes early. My knee bounced up and down as I waited for the professor to announce the end of our session, and I jumped up before he could complete his sentence, slinging my bag over my shoulder. “Well, it was nice meeting you officially, Blake. I’m sure I’ll see you around.”

He got stuck in his haste, his large form struggling to get out of the seat so quickly, which gave me time to make it to the front of the aisle. When he was finally free and on his feet, he held out his hand as if to stop me and yelled, “Wait! I’ll walk . . .”

Too late. I speed walked to the door, glancing back just in time to see the sullen look on his face as his hand slowly dropped down to his side. The only difference was this time I was the one causing that look.

That thought upset me.

Why? I was a pro at this. I’d seen that look cross many handsome faces before, but he was too beautiful to wear that expression. And I was just a fucked up bitch.

Just keep walking. What were you thinking anyway?

That I felt normal and happy . . .

Even if only for a little while.





After scouring the city months ago, I’d finally found a place I could swing. Given my need for privacy and solitude, I’d been saving every penny since I was fifteen to make sure I could afford an apartment once I got to college. I’d be damned if I’d allow anyone to witness what went on with me when the lights went out. It was on the top floor, and it cost a pretty penny, but it was more than worth it to me. It had two things I considered priceless—my own private balcony and direct access to the roof. They were the perfect places I could go to forget about the world and throw myself deep into my two vices, writing poetry and singing. Music had always been a Band-Aid to my soul. The words resonated deep within me and resounded through my veins. Some nights, when the boogeyman came, it was my only means of escape. Go up there and sing out my sorrows while the world was asleep and oblivious to my heartache.

My parents only condition moving to the city was that I lived in a building with a doorman. There was no way I could afford that, so they paid the difference. Walking into the lobby, I waved to my white haired guardian without much enthusiasm as I headed for the elevator. The girls would be here soon, and I had to pull myself together and shake off the rattle Blake put in my insides.

I busied myself with endless cleaning, while belting the lyrics to my trusty Pat Benatar CD. I could always count on Pat to brighten my mood. I was hopping around the apartment, bopping and swaying and singing into spatulas, when the girls knocked on the door.

“Coming! Gimme a sec.” I wiped the sweat from my brow, slapped my yellow gloves on the counter, and scurried over to the door to let in the giggling combo.

Jessie threw her arms around my neck like she hadn’t seen me in years. “Eva, I missed you!”

“Jes, it’s been six hours.” I chuckled and rolled my eyes.

Sandra walked past me with an overflowing grocery bag and kissed my cheek. “I swear she would marry you if she could. She hasn’t stopped talking about you.”

“Aw, Jes, I’m flattered.” I batted my eyelashes at her.

“Yeah, yeah. Shut up, both of you. Don’t make fun, or I won’t be your friend anymore.” She stuck out her tongue.

Sandra was in awe, staring at the view out my kitchen window. “I really love your place, Eva. You scored with this one.”

The city skyline was beautiful with all the lights and scattered buildings of varying sizes. The world was hustling about just feet below, but from up here it looked so calm. Once I saw it, it called to me. This is “the city that never sleeps”. Well, neither did I. We were a perfect match.

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