“Bliss, wait! What . . . what did I miss here?” I had just left her apartment this morning and she hadn’t been so damn angry at me then.
She paused and I watched as her shoulders lifted then fell with an exaggerated sigh. Nothing was said for several moments. I was about to say something else when finally she turned back to me. “I’m that girl,” she said. “The girl who clings to the hopes a guy will notice her. A guy who she thinks about and daydreams about but he is just out of her reach. But I don’t want to be that girl. Not anymore. I want to be the girl a guy will throw it all away for. A girl he fights for. I want to be worth it.”
I was speechless as she then walked away. I watched her go until she turned the corner and was gone from sight. That wasn’t easy. Not by a fucking long shot. I wasn’t ready for her. To be the guy she wanted. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be that guy for anyone.
She was right. I should go. Leave this place. Let her live her life and find that guy who deserved her. Me, I wasn’t that guy. I wanted to be. But then I was terrified of it.
The hollow place in my chest ached at the thought of leaving here. It became a sharp pain when I thought of the guy who would end up loving her. The one she was looking for. Before I got in so deep I couldn’t get out, I headed for my truck. I was going home. Back to Rosemary Beach. Bliss York wanted to find her fairytale and I wasn’t going to stand in her way.
When I got to the parking lot she was there. Watching me. I almost turned and went back to my grandpops to save myself from this. I wanted Bliss to have it all. And I couldn’t be that. I couldn’t make promises to her. She meant too much.
“You’re leaving.”
She’d asked me to. Or more like ordered me to.
“Yeah.”
She frowned. “It was that easy?”
I was confused now. “What?”
“To make you leave. It was that stinking easy.”
“You did just tell me to leave.” I reminded her.
“Yes. But deep down I thought you’d run after me and . . . and . . . I don’t know. I just. Oh, never mind,” she said with a wave of her hand as if she were tossing the idea away. “Don’t go yet.”
Women. Confusing as hell. “Why?”
“Because Nate Finlay I want one last night with you. If you’re really leaving here then give me one night. Just one. That’s all I’m asking.”
Nothing about that sounded like a good idea. A night with Bliss would be tempting. She was too damn beautiful and distracting. I’d forget all the reasons why we couldn’t work. “I don’t think we should.”
“You’re right. We shouldn’t. But I fought through chemo and lived. I survived and while I was sick and bald and scared do you know what I thought about to get me through?”
I shook my head because no I had no idea.
“You. Us. That summer. That memory was what I clung to. So, before you leave, I want it again. Something like a memory that I can have to pull out and remember.”
Fuck.
The way my chest had just been ripped open I was having difficulty breathing. That wasn’t what I expected. She’d thought of me . . . God knows I’d thought of her but I hadn’t been facing death.
“Okay,” I replied. This may be a bad idea but fuck me if I was going to tell her no now. Not after she just told me that.
“Thanks.” That simple word so sincere. I wanted to go pull her in my arms and promise she’d always be safe. I’d make sure of it. But I couldn’t because I had no way of knowing if she would. But if there was a God surely he’d give her a long life.
“I’ll pick you up at seven,” I told her.
Bliss York
I HAD A moment. You know those crazy moments where you run off and do something insane. Well I had that moment. I forced Nate Finlay to take me out on a date. What kind of desperate female even does that? It wasn’t like I could back out now. I was stuck. I had acted like an idiot now I had to follow through and be done with it.
The next time I went out on a date it would be with someone who asked me because they wanted to. I was at least sticking to that. This thing tonight was a mistake. I knew it before it even started. Eli, not talking to me as he sat in front of the evening news eating a piece of grilled chicken and some steamed broccoli, agreed with that. He was not happy about this but he didn’t get to make decisions for me. I got to make those and screw things up all by myself.
Deciding what to wear had been an all afternoon dilemma. I had tried on five dresses, two pants outfits and three with shorts and slides. Nothing was a winner but then did it really matter? It wasn’t like tonight was going to be fun. It was going to be weird and awkward thanks to me.
I tried talking to Eli about this and he just stared at me blankly then turned his attention back to the television. He was disappointed in me. I could see it in his expression even if he tried to look as if he didn’t care. I guess I should be disappointed with me too. I’d considered calling this off more than once today but then would that be me making the decision or Eli making it. I wasn’t sure so I stuck with it. What could it hurt really? My pride was obviously already gone.
The blue sleeveless sundress I was currently wearing hit just at my knees. I liked it. This was comfortable and could go either dressy or casual. I wouldn’t be changing my clothes again. That was something a girl excited about a date did. I wasn’t excited.
One last time I walked into the living room and stood between Eli and the television. Nate would be here any minute.
“You can ignore me all you want but that’s silly. I know this is a bad idea. It’s stupid. But I need to do it. So, stop trying to protect me and let me do things. Make mistakes. The whole shebang. Okay?”
For a moment, I thought he was going to continue to ignore me but he let out a frustrated sound that was something like a sigh. “Fine.”
That was all I needed. “Thank you.”
He didn’t look amused. He just shook his head. “The guy is a dick.”
It was right there on the tip of my tongue. I wanted to defend him. To tell Eli that Nate wasn’t a bad guy. But I didn’t. It wasn’t my place to defend him. Eli could think what he wanted. Nate would be gone soon anyway.
The knock at the door stopped us from having anymore conversation and Eli took a drink of his water. He was done talking about it anyway. “See you later. I doubt I’m gone long.”
He just nodded.
I didn’t have time for this. I grabbed my purse and went to open the door.
As it swung wide I almost wished I hadn’t opened it at all. I wished I had called and canceled. It would have saved me a lot of issues. Like the major issue being Nate Finlay was beautiful. Model perfect. He was rugged yet refined. Beautiful but handsome. He was mouthwatering. And I had to remember he was only taking me out because I forced him to.