I shrugged. “Wasn’t sure which condo and you weren’t really up for talking or directions last night.”
He let out a moan and moved to sit up. The covers fell from his chest and it was bare. When had he taken off his shirt? I hadn’t done that but I wasn’t complaining. His chest was magazine cover ready. What woman wouldn’t want to see that?
“Give it to me straight. What did I say?” he was concerned and I figured he remembered enough to be concerned. I’d leave the part out where he said if he married it would “be to me.” Or that he thought about me “every damn minute of the day” so much “it crowded his thoughts.” These were drunken outbursts I didn’t believe and he’d want to make sure I didn’t. That would be too painful. I would hold onto that forever.
“You broke up with Octavia or at least you think you did.” That needed some clarification.
“Shit. I mean, I’m glad, but shit. I have to call her and talk this out. No telling what my text said. I’m scared to even look.” He patted his pockets. “Where’s my phone?”
“You dropped it in your truck. I left it in there.”
He nodded then rubbed his face roughly. “Where’s Eli?”
Eli was probably in his room listening and pissed off still. “Asleep.”
Nate stood up. “I should go.”
That was it? He wasn’t going to talk about anything? Nothing he said? Nothing? He wasn’t engaged anymore. But he didn’t seem very interested in me either. Instead he looked like he wanted to bolt and couldn’t get out of here quick enough.
“Okay. Your keys are on the bar,” I told him and didn’t move to get up and give them to him. I was still reeling over the fact he was just going to leave. We weren’t going to talk. Nothing.
When had I missed the fact Nate Finlay had become an asshole?
He paused and I waited sipping my coffee and staring straight ahead out the window. I didn’t know what to say or how to deal with this. It was like an awkward walk of shame but there had been no sex. No one night stand.
“Thanks for bringing me here. Making sure I didn’t end up sleeping it off behind bars. My parents would freak the hell out if I ended up in jail.”
Was this the equivalent of “It was good. Thanks for the hot fuck.”? Because it felt like it.
“Like I said, I couldn’t leave you there.”
He didn’t move and I didn’t look at him. I refused to let him see what I really felt at this moment. I guess he’d go find another “easy” to replace Octavia. Even though last night he had told me he didn’t want easy anymore. He wanted more. That had been drunken crap too. Yet I’d thought about it all night long.
“Bliss, did I say something I need to answer for this morning?”
He didn’t remember anything.
“No, nothing. Good luck,” I replied sparing him one glance as I stood up.
He didn’t move at first and I thought maybe he was going to push for more. But before I knew it he was walking to the door.
When it opened, I let myself look. To mark this in my memory. Nate Finlay walking away from me. I needed to get him out of my heart and my head.
Our eyes locked and neither of us said a word. I wondered if he could read my eyes because in his I saw things that couldn’t be correct. The regret I saw was wishful thinking. He didn’t regret this. He was walking away with ease. No concern. No questions. But I was the one hurting. I was always the one hurting.
“Thanks again,” he said and all I could do was nod.
When the door closed behind him I let out a sigh and my shoulders fell. Eli stepped from his room and I couldn’t look at him. He’d listened to it all. He knew I had brought Nate here hoping for something . . . something I couldn’t even put a name to.
Eli’s strong arms wrapped around me and I curled into him. But I didn’t cry. I wasn’t that weak. I never would be again.
Nate Finlay
I SAT ON my Grandpop’s sofa for three hours staring. At nothing really. My thoughts were on Bliss and this morning. They were also on my sudden single status. I’d decided to finally get serious with Octavia because I was tired of my relationships just being about sex. There was supposed to be more than sex and I knew that. But what I’d had with Octavia wasn’t enough.
The simple text I had gotten from her said more than enough:
Glad you figured that out sooner rather than later.
That was it. Nothing else. No phone call or dramatic outburst. Just one text. So fucking easy. Or was it so fucking empty. Maybe empty meant easy.
I could sit here and wonder if I had just screwed up a good thing. But that was wasting my time. Because I was free and all I could think about was Bliss. I should go right back to her apartment and tell her I wanted her. I wanted us. I wanted a chance.
For some reason though I couldn’t manage to do it. Maybe it was waking up in her apartment hung over and unsure exactly what I’d said to her the night before. Or hell I might be the world’s dumbest asshole. Who the fuck knew. All I knew was sitting here was just all I could get myself to do.
Last night I’d wanted nothing more than to be free to have Bliss. Today I was free and I was scared. The urge to call my mom was strong but I fought it. I was a man and I didn’t need my mother’s advice. Besides she’d be so happy I’d broken it off with Octavia she’d have a hard time focusing on the Bliss problem.
A hard knock on the door tore me from my inner battle and I looked toward the door confused. Who the hell would be knocking? Grandpop was at work and anyone who knew him knew that’s where they’d find him. I waited and another aggressive knock had my curiosity peaked.
I went to the door and opened it expecting to see someone there for Grandpop and finding Bliss instead.
“I have something to say,” she announced and walked into the apartment brushing past me.
“Okay,” I managed to reply watching her. She spun around with her hands on her hips as she glared at me angrily. She was pissed and she was hot as hell. She also knew where my grandpop’s apartment was. She’d lied about that.
“I’m done. Don’t come around me. Don’t show up drunk where I work. Go back to Rosemary Beach and your country club friends and stay there. I will not let myself get hurt again by you. I’ve overcome too much to let some guy ruin my happy. Last night,” she said then let out a laugh that didn’t sound as if she thought it was funny at all. Her eyes were shinning with unshed tears. “I was so desperate for anything from you that I clung to the ramblings of a drunk man. I believed the nonsense that came out of your mouth and I thought maybe there was a chance. But I was wrong. Those were the silly hopes of the girl who once loved you. We’re grown and we’ve both changed. I get it. But I want you gone. “
I didn’t have time to respond before she stalked past me and out the door.