“Feels like it,” I spat.
“This is me saving you one last time because I’m worse than the man with the needle baby,” he paused, standing up and closing the distance between us as he took my hand and laced our fingers together. “I’m the poison inside the needle,” he said, lifting our joined hands to my cheek. “And you? You’re everything good in this world. It’s a good dream, Lace. You and me, it’s a real good dream but dreams don’t come true for men like me.”
He dropped his hand from mine and took a retreating step back.
“They do when you want them enough,” I replied.
He shoved his hands into the pockets of his sweats and focused his eyes on the floor. Without uttering a word Blackie made it clear our conversation was over and so was this stolen moment.
But there would be more.
I was sure of it.
Chapter Sixteen
Four weeks.
Four Saturday’s I missed.
On the fifth Saturday I was discharged from the hospital and to my surprise, Jack was waiting for me. I hadn’t seen him much since the pissing contest over Lacey and thank Christ for that; I didn’t trust myself around him, her—basically anyone with the last name Parrish. Still, the fact that he brushed that shit aside and picked my sorry ass up from the hospital said something…in the larger scheme of things we were brothers.
I just wasn’t sure how long we’d be able to hold onto that.
When it would stop being enough.
I cupped my hand, bringing it to my forehead to act as a visor and shield the sun that was temporarily blinding me.
“It’s about time you got sprung,” Jack quipped, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a pair of my sunglasses. “You’re like a fucking vampire,” he joked.
“Fuck off,” I hissed, snatching the sunglasses out of his hand and fitting them to my face.
He laughed, slapping me on the back and tipped his chin toward the parking lot.
“Let’s get the fuck out of here the boys are waiting at the clubhouse,” he said as we headed to his truck. I folded my discharge papers and shoved them into the back pocket of my jeans.
“Church?” I questioned as he unlocked his truck and we climbed inside. I watched him nod as he started up the truck, leaning back in his seat before he pulled out of the parking spot.
“Been too long since the table was full,” he said, glancing over at me. “Glad to have you back and not a moment too soon,” he added before turning his eyes back to the road. “Reina’s been cooking up a storm since six-fucking-thirty this morning,” he fought back the smile itching to break free. “I don’t know if she can cook, but the woman can sure as hell bake, so I think we’re safe,” he said. “Dinner’s at seven.”
“Dinner?”
“Dinner,” he confirmed. “You beat the odds man. You and Reina made it out of that fucking ordeal, Jimmy got what he was due, sure, we got a boatload of grief to deal with but I’m taking that shit as a win, and we celebrate fucking wins,” he resolved.
“I’m not complaining…it’s just different,” I said.
Celebrations at the Dog Pound usually involved a shit ton of booze, pussy and herb. I don’t recall dinner…and none of us ever had someone cook it for us.
“Fuck, that’s one way to put it,” he grinned, peering at me from the corner of his eye. “Don’t think Reina would appreciate it if I served up some ass with the lasagna she’s cooking.”
I laughed.
“Probably not,” I agreed as my mind wandered and I stared out the window, wondering if Lacey would be at dinner.
I thought about her morning, noon and night, half the time I tried to sleep, hoping my mind would shut down and I wouldn’t think of her but she fucking invaded my dreams too. It’s the same dream over and over, that brings me back to that night when she showed up at the clubhouse and I fucked her. It’s a rewrite, a second chance, and this time I take my time with her. I give her inexperienced body all of me, teach her how to let go and enjoy, how pain becomes pleasure. I give her everything and I take in return—the look in her eye when she comes, when her body succumbs to a pleasure she doesn’t even know exists.
I take and take, lying to myself all the while, believing I’m giving her what she needs, what she craves. I thank the women who came before her and the experience they gave me, making me a capable man who can turn an awkward experience into one she won’t forget. I work her over, gauging her body and the way it responds to mine. Every stroke, every bite, every goddamn flick of my tongue, I watch and I learn what she likes and what she dislikes. I give her more of what she likes, show her things she never imagined, and when she’s primed, when I know I’ve made her as wet as possible I take her. I take that virgin pussy, make it mine and silently vow to be the only man who gets her.
Fucked up shit.