I left them to deal with their suspicions and straddled my bike. I didn’t have much time before the sun set and the gates closed, so stopping off at Ro’s wasn’t in the cards. After missing four Saturday’s there was no way I’d get out of there without that sweet woman giving me the third degree.
I stopped off at a bodega on a corner and bought three colorful bouquets of flowers, dropped them in my saddlebags and took off to Fort Hamilton. I dreaded seeing the dead flowers at Christine’s grave and prepared myself for the guilt that would surface when I saw her name carved into the tombstone.
I parked my bike off to the side and killed the engine, grabbing the flowers as I climbed the hill.
Nothing could’ve prepared me for what I saw next.
Nothing.
I blinked to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating but as I approached Christine’s grave there was no denying the beauty kneeling before the tombstone was real.
Live and in the flesh.
My beautiful Lace knelt before my wife’s grave, rearranging a fresh bouquet.
My past met my present and for a second I wished for a future.
Beside her laid a wilted bouquet of flowers, one I hadn’t brought there either.
“Hi, it’s me again,” Lacey said, as she leaned back tucking her haunches beneath her ass. “He’ll be back soon,” she promised before her voice trailed off and the only sound became the wind blowing through the trees. “I remember you,” she said finally. “Not much, but I remember you. I was just a kid when you first came around with Blackie and well, I sort of hated you. No, that sounds horrible,” she amended. “I was envious of you. That doesn’t sound much better but it's true. I remember thinking you were pretty but then I saw him look at you and knew that wasn’t the right word to describe you. In a world full of ugly you were his beautiful. You and Blackie, it’s like you were the definition behind that saying beauty is in the eyes of the beholder because as pretty as everyone thought you were, they knew true beauty when they looked at him and watched him stare at you. You were the beautiful reflection in his eyes…the woman who made him smile. Even now that you’re gone I still envy you but I’m not sure what it is I wish for more…. for him to look at me like he used to look at you or for me to be the one that brings back that smile.”
I had no words.
None.
She was sitting here talking to my wife, confessing her feelings for me, and I stood there invading her privacy. I should’ve made my presence known, but I remained perfectly still as my heart broke for the woman I lost and began to mend because of the girl who brought her flowers.
She blew out a breath and slowly stood up, brushing dirt from her legs.
“Anyway, I’m going to get going but before I do, since this will be my last visit, I wanted to ask a favor. I’m not real religious and I know I’m probably just sitting here talking to a stone but just in case the afterlife really exists, can you look out for him? I mean I know you do already. Of course you do, you’re his wife…but still, he needs an angel to watch over him,” she whispered. “Who better than you?”
You.
She turned around, and I silently thanked God for the sunglasses that shielded my eyes as I stared at her. Her cheeks turned red as I extended my free hand and took hers.
“How long have you been standing there?” She asked, glancing down at our joined hands.
“Long enough,” I said huskily, pulling her closer. “Lace.”
I glanced down at the flowers she had brought and then lifted my eyes back to hers.
“You brought her flowers,” I stated.
“I can explain,” she started.
“Just today?”
“No, since you’ve been in the hospital,” she explained. “I haven’t missed a Saturday,” she whispered.
I released her hand as I stared back at her for a moment then placed the flowers I was holding on top of the headstone. I ran my fingers through my hair as I paced the small area in front of Christine’s grave.
“Blackie— “
I turned to her.
“How’d you know?”
“About a year ago, me and my dad came to visit my brother’s grave, and we saw your bike. He told me you come here every Saturday and bring her flowers,” she swallowed. “I just figured— “ “Thank you,” I cut her off, closing the distance between us and wrapping my arms around her, bringing her against my chest I bent my head, pressing my lips to her head. “Thank you,” I repeated, murmuring the words into her hair.
“You’re welcome,” she said as she wrapped her arms around my waist.
I leaned back, tipped her chin upward with the pad of my thumb as she reached up and pushed my sunglasses up on top of my head.
“I get it, you know?” She whispered. “I know what it feels like to lose someone you love and how much it sucks being left behind.”