I’m waiting for my father to give the green light and have the lawyer escort me into the station so I can make a formal statement but talking to my father these days is a struggle. He won’t even look at me and has made it very clear that talking about Blackie is out of the question.
A part of me wishes we never hid from him, maybe if he had gotten a chance to see us for himself he’d know it wasn’t something to frown upon. Sometimes the heart rules and if you’re lucky it lasts. I think if my father would’ve seen us follow our hearts straight into each other’s arms he might be a little more lenient. If he saw the ease of our relationship, the stolen moments that sparked a fire in our hearts, or if he would’ve seen us smiling whenever we were together than maybe Jack Parrish would understand Leather and Lace.
No man will ever be good enough for me in his eyes but no man cared more about me than Blackie, even before we were anything, when we both thought we were nothing…even then we were still something.
The other part of me is happy we kept our time to ourselves. For a short while we were on top of the world. All the sorrows and regrets of his past faded away and the trials and tribulations of my mind disappeared.
I fell harder than I thought was possible and as I fell Blackie swooped in, claiming my heart. He gave me the broken pieces of his heart and with every kiss and every smile he asked me to put him back together.
So what went wrong? He loved me. I know he did, hell even Riggs saw it. So why did he wound me with his words and break my heart? Was it because he didn’t have enough faith in himself? He should know by now I have enough faith in him for the both of us. He should know that he didn’t have to prove his worth to me. I believe when you love someone as hard and as fierce as I love Blackie, there is no reason to prove anything other than your commitment to that person. I believe, God creates a second half of your soul and puts it into someone else, if you’re lucky you cross paths with that person and get to be one half of a great love story. You become complete and a full heart and a mended soul is all the proof you need. You begin to write an epic love story, one you never saw coming but will always be thankful for.
The words come freely.
The actions speak for themselves.
The love evolves without trying.
It’s a rare form of beauty.
Only the lucky ones get to experience.
I was lucky for a little while.
Then my luck ran out.
But I had the story scribed into my heart and that would never run from me.
My phone vibrated on top of my desk, pulling me away from the heartbreak and into the present creating a ruckus and all eyes turned around to see. I stared at the screen and saw it was an unknown caller.
“Miss Parrish, do you need to take that?” My professor chastised.
“Nope,” I smiled sheepishly, turning my phone on silent before I flipped it over and laid the screen against the desk. “I’m sorry.”
I rolled my eyes at my classmates that continued to stare at me before I glanced down and pretended to take notes.
I had no fucking clue what was going on but hey, I faked the good student like nobody’s business and continued to doodle until the professor called class.
I grabbed my books, shoved them in my bag and followed everyone else out of the room. I turned the ringer back on as I walked down the hall and noticed the alert that I had a voicemail. I walked with Daniela into the parking lot, she went her way and I went mine. When I was inside the car, I pulled out the phone and stared at the screen, my thumb hovered over it before I played back the voicemail.
“Lace, it’s me,” Blackie’s voice filled my car and my heart. I heard the gasp escape my lips as he paused, forcing me to check and see if that was the end of the message.
“I’m…I don’t know where to start. I guess I’m calling because I want to hear your voice. I want to hear with my own ears you’re okay. All right, well I’ll try reaching you again later if they let me use the phone.”
Another pause.
“I miss you, Angel. I miss you like crazy and I keep picturing your pretty little face. So fucking pretty,” his voice trailed off and then I heard him clear his throat. “Hang in there, girl. I’ll try and call again, hopefully I’ll catch you,” he said before ending the voicemail.
Chapter Thirty-five
There comes a time in life when you’ve tried all you can and have no choice but to look up to a higher power to guide you. It’s usually when you’ve made a couple of wrong turns and you’ve lost your way. You have no idea where the fuck you are and don’t know where to go from here and instead of winging it you look for signs.
I didn’t have to look too hard for my sign. It came right after I made the phone call to Lacey and she didn’t pick up. Her sweet voice filled my ears, my soul and the emptiness inside of me since I pushed her away. I contemplated hanging up and not leaving a message at all but I couldn’t do it. I physically couldn’t do it anymore.
I folded.
The dealer had one card left, and it wasn’t a queen.