I had already passed that one up.
I left the message and now I’m left regretting I didn’t put it all out there for her. I told her I missed her and that I wanted her to hang in there but I should’ve told her I loved her. I should’ve told her I made a mistake and I’ll spend every day regretting the one day when I pushed her away. It was foolish, so fucking foolish. I have never doubted my ability to protect her, not once, not since I vowed to Jack I’d do whatever it takes to make sure she was always okay. I gave my brother, peace of mind when they closed the cell doors on his ass, I gave him my word I’d always put her before me.
When my truck blew up, and we had to put the club on lockdown I volunteered to grab Lacey because I trusted myself with her life more than I trusted Jack.
That’s a fact.
It’s funny what you realize when all you have is three walls and prison bars to stare at all day…your mind is constantly working.
I could’ve taken care of Boots. I could’ve put that motherfucker to sleep and avoided all this shit but, I didn’t think. I was too wrapped up in the consequences, worried about the club and all the drama we already had brewing with the Chinese.
For the first time in my life I had something I was scared of losing. Never felt that way before. Not even with Christine. It fucked me up, and I lost my way.
I fucked up the rewrite.
“Let’s go Petra,” the C.O. called, jingling his keys against the metal bars.
I lifted my head off my cot and looked over at him as he unlocked my cell.
“Let’s go where?”
“Visitor,” he muttered. “Well come on, I don’t have all day,” he hissed. I threw my legs over the side of the bed and rose to my feet. No one’s come up to see me since Jack visited two weeks ago. I at least expected a visit from Pipe or Wolf if not to keep me in the loop with the club than to rip me a new asshole for my affair with Lacey. I’m sure Jack’s spreading that shit like wild fire, as he plots my demise.
I don’t want to believe that he’ll leave me here to rot. I want to think that despite everything he remembers we’re brothers by choice, and I’ve always had his back and always will. I didn’t plan on falling in love with his daughter. I didn’t plan ahead and he of all people knew that. He’s the one who has pleaded with me frequently to find my heart and live again.
Careful what you wish for Bulldog.
Shouldn’t have given me her life.
He made her mine without even realizing it.
He put her in front of me and asked me to live again.
I listened to him, opened my eyes and there she was.
An angel tempting the devil.
I was buzzed into the visitor’s room and scanned the perimeter searching for the reaper and whoever was wearing it. I glanced over my shoulder at the C.O.
“I see no one I know,” I told him, turning around. He placed hand on my chest and tipped his chin over my shoulder.
“Look again,” he ordered.
I turned around and this time when I searched the room I didn’t look for leather and mayhem, I searched until I found my queen.
Eyes dark as the night met mine.
All the noise faded.
And the people crowding the room seemed to disappear.
It was just her.
My angel.
I started for her as she pushed back her chair and slowly rose to her feet.
Face to face.
Here we were again.
Leather and Lace.
Just when you think you’re done. That you’ve lost everything and you have nothing left, nowhere else to go, that higher ground shakes things around and gives you a new path.
I was staring my path in the eyes and the future never looked so bright.
I was a man behind bars, with no release date, not even sentenced yet but, still a man who had a future.
That pretty face was my future.
“What’re you doing here?” I asked, finding my voice as we stood across from one another with the table between us. Her eyes scanned me, zeroing in on my inmate number before finding mine again.
“I’m visiting my favorite Knight,” she whispered, offering me a smile as she cocked her head to the side. “What do you think I’m doing here? I miss you.”
I closed my eyes as her words punched me in the gut.
She had no fucking idea how much I missed her.
No fucking clue.
“I miss you too,” I rasped, opening my eyes.
“They told me I wasn’t allowed to touch you,” she murmured, eyeing the guards positioned around the perimeter of the room.
I followed her gaze before turning back to her and shrugged my shoulders.
“Yeah, you might slip me something,” I explained as I let my eyes travel down her body and back up to her face. I could stare at that face for the rest of my life and never want another.
“You look good, Lace,” I said. “Real good,” I tipped my chin toward the chair beside her.