“Tell me what’s wrong, Teddi,” Simon said.
“Just about everything.” That was the most honest I’d been with him or myself in the past six years.
“I didn’t realize you’d grown up in such a small town.” How could he? “When did you leave?” he asked.
I watched Simon sway as he waited for my answer. His frame was broadened by his sport coat. I knew beneath the tightly woven linen were shoulders that fit neatly into a men’s medium.
“I lived here until six years ago. Until I moved to Chicago and started working—for you. I haven’t been back here since.”
“Wow. Why not?”
“It’s complicated.” I fidgeted to pass seconds that felt like hours.
“You don’t want to tell me,” Simon said. I shook my head and pushed off the ground with my toes, swinging back and forth. “I’d never pressure you to tell me something you don’t want me to know, Teddi.”
“I know that, Si. But don’t you think that’s a problem?”
“That what’s a problem? That I won’t pressure you?”
“No, that we’re involved and I don’t want to tell you everything about me and my life, and that it doesn’t bother you?”
“I wanted to talk to you about us being involved, Teddi. That’s why I’m here. I didn’t want to wait until you were back at work. We never really attached a label to it, so maybe it’s time—”
“Don’t say it.”
“Don’t say what?” Simon sat next to me on the swing. Why was he making this even harder?
“Don’t propose. I can’t marry you, Simon. I thought maybe I could. I like you a lot. We have a good time together. You’re so smart and kind and fun to be around. I love working for you. But I don’t love you.”
“Teddi?” Simon squeezed my hand and tugged on it. I summoned my bravery and looked at him. He deserved that.
“Yes, Simon?”
“I don’t love you either.”
The words floated around me. “You don’t?” I lifted my hand from his.
“I was never going to ask you to marry me.”
“You weren’t?” I shuddered. Now I wasn’t good enough to be the first lady of Hester Hotels? All our time together has meant nothing to Simon?
“My proposal is completely professional,” he said.
“Are you kidding?”
“I carried your dry cleaning across the country. Does that sound like I’m kidding?”
“No.”
“You thought I wanted to marry you? Really? I don’t mean you’re not great, but we never talked about anything like that.”
“I know, I just assumed when you said you wanted to propose something…”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I have a business proposal for you. A new job. A promotion, really. If you want it.” I didn’t know what I wanted. “Have you been worrying about that the whole time you’ve been gone? Is that why you didn’t want to talk to me? I thought you were going to come back and quit. Or that you weren’t going to come back at all.”
“And that’s why you came all the way here.” I looked away, my cheeks burning from humiliation. Simon tapped my shoulder and I turned back. “I’m so embarrassed.”
“Don’t be. I’m flattered that you would even consider it. You were considering it, weren’t you?”
I shrugged. “Maybe a little.” I couldn’t lie. “Not really. We had a lot of fun, though, didn’t we?”
Simon nodded and held my hand again. “We certainly did. But I think our best times were when we were talking about work, brainstorming, collaborating. And I saw what you had to offer the company.” He opened his eyes wide. “You’re not going to quit now, are you? Can we talk about the new job? Whenever you’re ready, of course. Not here, not now.”
“Am I interrupting?”
I stood as Josie sashayed onto the porch. I hadn’t even seen her coming. My throat was dry and tightness edged over my shoulders. “Josie, this—is Simon Hester. My boss. Simon, this is Josie Fields. My friend. My dear, lifelong friend.”
Josie curtsied and Simon bowed with Hester flair.
“I wondered what was going on when I saw Miles and Mr. Hester at Perk. I had a feeling. I usually do when it comes to handsome men, you know.” Josie winked at me. “But speaking of handsome men…” Josie tipped her head toward the sidewalk, toward Cameron walking up Lark Street.
Cameron walked up one step, holding a paper cup with the Perk logo on it. I’d implied I’d stop by to see him. Now his shift had ended and he’d come to find me. I knew the cup in his hand was a latte. For me.
I sat on the top step as he approached. “I’m sorry I didn’t stop by,” I whispered to Cameron. I felt Josie walk across the porch behind me, and sensed that she and Simon were listening. “A lot has been going on.”
“Just thought I’d see if you were okay,” Cameron said. “But I see you are.”
“It’s not what it looks like…”
“Simon Hester,” Simon said as he reached down the steps and shook Cameron’s hand. I tilted my head from side to side to stretch my constricting neck muscles. My temples pounded. Josie looked at me with a trademark Josie smirk.
“Cameron Davis.”
“Nice to meet you, Cameron. Nice town you have here.”
“Not my town, but thanks.”
“No? Where’re you from?”
“I live in Oakland. Right across the bridge from you.”
“That’s great! You’ll come out and have dinner with me and Teddi.”
“He doesn’t mean us us, like a couple us,” I said.
“He doesn’t?” Josie asked.
“No,” I said.
Beck walked out onto the porch. “Having a party without me, Teddi?”
Josie smiled, then covered her mouth.
“I really just wanted to tell you that I was going to visit my parents in Akron, but I can see you’re busy.” Cameron set down the latte and waved in the general direction of the porch. As he walked away I followed him with quick, short steps. He quickened his pace.
“I’m not marrying Simon. You were right. I don’t love him. And it’s really funny but—he didn’t even want to marry me. I want to see what can happen between us. You and me, us.”
“So I’m second choice?” He looked at the porch. “Or third?”
“Neither. Oh, that’s not what I meant. Can we talk? Please?”
“Teddi!” Simon yelled from the porch. “Your friend here is a graphic designer? Why aren’t we using his firm for some of our work?”
“I’ve got to go,” Cameron said.
I stopped. He kept walking, then turned toward me.
“Can we talk when you get back? I think you’ll understand.”
“I thought maybe you weren’t over Beck, and then I believed you were. I was convinced you didn’t love Hester, but no matter what you say, he flew across the country to see you.”
“It’s not how it seems.”
“Look, it’s no big deal if I got the wrong vibe.”
“You didn’t get the wrong idea. Wait—no big deal?”
“We only just met, Teddi. I’m not sure me chasing you around thirty years ago really counts.”
“It totally counts. Will you come say good-bye before I leave?”
“Maybe.”
Cameron walked down Lark Street and didn’t turn back again. I didn’t chase him or call after him, hanging on to my one shred of pride left intact.