A hazy grey still taints everything around me. When I turn slightly to see what else is in the room, it’s like I’m seeing everything in slow motion.
It’s as if he’s read my thoughts as Dan says: ‘You’re on some pretty strong medication. You’re supposed to be sleeping.’
‘Ellie got away?’
I think Dan nods. It’s hard to tell. Everything is swaying. ‘Jason saved you but, yes. You’re safe here.’
‘I want to see Liv.’
‘I don’t think—’
I don’t wait for him to say no, pushing myself up and trying to free my legs from the tightly tucked sheets. Dan tries to stop me but he doesn’t get much choice when I slump into him, using his hard body to hold me up. It’s been such a long time since we touched in any way that I’ve forgotten how well we fit together. My head slots into his shoulder as he supports my weight.
‘The doctor said—’
‘Please,’ I say. ‘Please take me to her.’
Dan stops protesting but he’s practically dragging me as we head out of the room into an equally white corridor. I think I close my eyes because the next thing I know, I’m at the side of another hospital bed in another white room. So much white.
Olivia is sleeping, her chest rising and falling slowly and rhythmically. Her hair is tufty and dirty, some of it plastered to her forehead. I feel like such a fool for all those arguments over hair colour, tattoos and who knows what else.
‘She’s safe,’ I whisper.
There’s no reply and, for a moment, I wonder if I’ve actually spoken. Perhaps I only thought the words. It’s all very confusing.
‘Yes,’ Dan says.
‘She’ll be okay?’
‘Yes.’
‘What about Tyler?’
Dan lowers me into a chair and then stands at my side, hand on my shoulder. I grip his fingers and, for the time in years, there’s reassurance there.
‘He’s stable at a different end of the hospital. His dad’s with him but it sounds like he’s going to be okay. Liv’s been asking for him in between sleeping. They had to give her something to calm her but she will be fine.’
I want to wake her, to hear her voice and say I’m sorry. I know I can’t, though. It’s not all about me.
‘Why’d you call him?’ Dan asks, unexpectedly.
‘Who?’
‘Jason.’
It’s only now that Dan brings it up that I remember. When I was in the car and the stupid voice assistant on my phone couldn’t call Olivia, I was trying to think of who I trusted. I’d doubted Jason, suspected him of being in on whatever was happening to me, but then I’d remembered our shared history. The times we had before and after Wayne died. And for once, I ignored the self-doubt and I called him, saying I was on my way to the mill because Olivia was there. I didn’t know I was walking into a trap but figured he might be able to help if Tyler was a problem.
‘Why not me?’ Dan adds.
‘Because…’ I screw my eyes closed, partly because my head hurts less when it’s dark but mainly because I don’t want Dan to look at me. ‘Because I’ve been doubting myself,’ I say. ‘Doubting everyone.’
‘Including me?’
‘Yes.’
‘Why? I know we’re separating but it’s all been amicable. I know we’re not in love but I didn’t think we were enemies.’
That word stings. Enemies. I didn’t think Ellie was an enemy, either.
‘A lot’s happened,’ I say.
‘Like what?’
I tell him about the hotel, Stephen, waking up in the field, being told by Mr Rawley that Dan was home on the day the house was broken into and everything else I can remember. He listens without reply and then, when I’m done, he squeezes my shoulder gently.
‘Our neighbour is wrong,’ he says. ‘I wasn’t home on that day. He must have been mistaken.’
I believe him. Mr Rawley from over the road has always been a nosey so-and-so. There’s every chance he got the wrong day.
‘There’s more,’ I say.
‘Go on.’
I open my eyes and glance to Olivia. She’s still asleep, chest rising methodically.
‘Not here,’ I say.
I take a moment to watch Olivia’s chest rise and fall, to convince myself she’s safe. Dan’s at my side and then he steers me away. I remember little of the corridor or journey but the next thing I know, he’s tucking me into my bed and making sure I’m comfortable. He sits at my side, saying nothing, though I can sense him anticipating. He’s not questioned any of what happened so far, taking it in his stride.
‘I went to the gym,’ I say. ‘I opened your locker.’
‘Oh.’
This time I wait. Dan clears his throat.
‘Did you tell anyone?’ he asks quietly.
‘No.’
‘The stun gun belongs to Alice’s brother. He brought it back from holiday, not knowing it was illegal. I have no idea how he got it through airport security. Alice had it her gym bag. She was going to hand it in to the police but that’s technically an offence. I said I’d do it as a favour. Figured being a deputy headteacher would go in my favour. I’d say I found it in a hedge, something like that. It’s gone now.’
I think of seeing Dan trail after Alice at the car boot and that twinge of sorrow I felt for him. I feel it now, too. Stronger this time. Perhaps he’s in love with her? If he is, it’s not reciprocated. The poor sod. No wonder he said he’d do that for her.
‘DBA Enterprises,’ I say.
‘Who?’
‘The credit card.’
‘Oh…’ He raises his eyebrows in surprise. ‘That’s the leasing company for my new apartment. I thought I told you? I had to pay a deposit. That’s okay, isn’t it?’
Of course it is. It makes perfect sense.
‘Where’s Jason?’ I ask.
‘With the police, last I heard. They’re waiting to talk to you, Tyler and Liv. I think he’s the only one in a decent state. I don’t know for sure.’
I sigh with relief and regret.
Dan’s hand reaches under the covers until it meets mine. He locks his fingers into me and squeezes gently. Neither of us speak because we don’t need to. We’re still breaking up – we both know it. Nothing has solved the underlying problems of our marriage – but at least we have trust. Our beautiful daughter is along the hallway and we owe it to her to be her parents.
‘She’ll be fine,’ Dan says, reading my mind.
We’ve got many conversations to have in the days to come – and I’ve got some serious explaining to do, not only to him but probably the police as well. For now, I can think only of Olivia.
‘Yes,’ I agree. ‘She’ll be fine.’
Chapter Fifty-Two
A second police car pulls up outside Rose’s house to join the first. A pair of officers get out and head inside, joining the two already in there.
I wonder what they’re doing. Wonder what Rose has told them, not to mention my traitorous brother. My house is out of bounds – more police – but the time will come when Rosie, Dan and Olivia are all back here. A time when they think they’re safe.
That’s when I’ll return. I’ll be ready the next time. I owe it to myself and I owe it to Wayne. I waited more than twenty years for this, so what’s a few months more?
Be seeing you around, Rosie. Be seeing you around.
THE END