“I like animals,” Chipper says. “I wish we could have a dog and another cat.”
Hayes looks at me like I’m a bad mom for not instantly driving to the shelter to get new pets for my first born.
“Let’s see how they do with Dreamy.”
Hayes gives Chipper a look like I’m a pain in the butt. I give Cricket a look like the guys are dorks. She smiles knowingly.
We go inside and find Nightmare stretched out on the couch.
“He owns the place,” Hayes says. “Let me grab a few things and we’ll head to your place.”
I talk to the kids about the massive remote and what I think all the buttons do. They’re dying to play with it.
“I’ll show you how to use it the next time you come over,” Hayes says, reappearing with a duffle bag.
The kids smile at the idea of returning, but Cricket still grabs on me possessively. She likes Hayes and his big house. She likes her family of three more, though.
Once in his SUV, I ask about the duffle bag.
“It's my clothing for tomorrow.”
“You’re sleeping over?”
“Of course.”
“Don’t you miss your bed?”
“Not as much as I miss yours.”
I study him while he drives us to my house. In his hurry to prove he’s boyfriend material, Hayes might push himself too far too fast. I want to tell him again how it’s okay to need space. I even open my mouth to say something but chicken out.
“I’m not a child,” he says when we pull into my driveway. “I know what I want,” he adds before leaning over to look me in the eyes. “And I get what I want.”
Smiling, I kiss him quickly and elicit gagging noises from the backseat.
“I like waking up next to you,” is all I say before climbing out of the SUV and opening the door for the kids.
We head into the house, and I tell myself not to worry. Except Hayes is the man I love and this family routine is all new to him. I also have two kids unaccustomed to their mom dating. Chipper wants a new daddy while Cricket wants no daddy. I might be a killjoy, but worrying makes sense with these three.
THIRTY FOUR - HAYES
Once I decide to plan a vacation to Disney World, the scope of everything grows. I figure the week we’re out of town will be a good time to do renovations in the office. Moot meets me to go over my plans, and he can’t stop chuckling.
“What?” I mutter.
“I keep picturing you scaring little kids at Disney World.”
“Can you fucking focus?”
Moot shakes his head. “I don’t know, man. You and Disney World are distracting me.”
“One day, you’ll have kids, and then you won’t think it’s so funny.”
“No, I’ll still laugh at the thought of you on that Tea Cup ride.”
Shaking my head, I walk into my back office. “I need more space.”
“Hell, man, I told you that shit years ago.”
“Yeah, well, shut the fuck up now.”
Moot laughs again. “Okay, so you want me to get this all done while you’re out of town. Shouldn’t be a big deal.”
“I’m edgy about leaving town in such an obvious way. People might think they should fuck with me.”
“Yeah, but you’re coming back. It’s not like they’d have much time to do the fucking.”
“They might think I’m turning soft because of Candy and her kids.”
Moot shrugs. “So kill someone when you get back.”
“I'm serious.”
“So am I. People have been scared of you for a long fucking time. They ain’t going to get over that in a week. If anyone does, you deal with them and teach everyone else a lesson.”
Running my hand through my hair, I admit, “Maybe I am going soft.”
“Yeah, but you’re soft where it counts. With your enemies, you’ll always be an asshole. No doubt about that.”
I share his grin. “I guess. This family man shit makes me feel like a pussy. I’m thinking about making kids smile rather than making my enemies bleed.”
“You’ve worked for a long time to be in a stable place with White Horse. Why not enjoy what you’ve got? Never know how long it’ll last.”
I think about his words while he looks over the plans. My mind is on Candy as usual, and I wonder about her safety.
“A few months before you got out, the sheriff in Common Bend got it into his tiny fucking head to do a drive-by on my house and the office. He caused only minor damage, but I was pissed rather than scared,” I say and then add in a quieter voice. “If that happened now with Candy, I don’t think I’d feel so invincible.”
“I get that, but it’s worth feeling scared. To have a woman you love and trust is a magical fucking thing. A whole lot of people never find that. Especially not guys like you.”
Nodding, I crack my knuckles and then shove my hands into my jeans. “I hate feeling vulnerable.”
“Everyone does. They just don’t whine about it as much as you do,” Moot says, stepping back in case I retaliate.
“Asshole.”