“I miss Peat,” I mutter, ready to cry too. “He would have made a great uncle.”
Our afternoon out has turned into a miserable walk down memory lane. I’m depressed by the time I return to the office with the kids. They run outside to play with Nightmare while I stand at my desk and think about how Peat would have found Hayes funny. They might have even become friends.
“Are you all right?” asks one of the gardeners.
Before I can say anything, Hayes storms out of the back office and waves a gun at the guy.
“Go away,” he growls, and the gardener isn’t the only one ready to run. I nearly piss myself at Hayes’s sudden rage.
“What happened?” Hayes asks, looking around as if we’re under attack. He checks on the kids in the back with Nightmare. Once he feels satisfied with our safety, Hayes returns to my side. “Why are you crying?”
“I wish you could have met my brother and mom,” I sob.
Hayes set down his gun and sweeps me into his arms. I feel dainty while he rests me in his lap. I feel young too. Or maybe it’s how I’m crying like a baby that makes me feel young.
“What happened? Why are you upset now?”
“I talked with Honey, and she was in a bad mood, and now I’m in a bad mood.”
“You should stop hanging out with your sister,” he says instantly.
I wipe my eyes and frown. “I’m not avoiding my sister.”
“Hey, you gave me a problem, and I solved it for you.”
“I don’t want you to solve it. I want you to hug me and say you’re sorry for my loss and let me cry myself out. Then maybe we can make out a little before the kids come inside.”
“I can do that too,” he says, nuzzling my forehead. “Thanks for the instructions. Life is a lot easier with them handy.”
“You’re welcome. I’m sorry I’m crying.”
“Are you really?”
“No,” I sniffle. “My brother Peat was a warm and funny person who made people happy. He shouldn’t be dead.”
“Want me to have his murderer killed?”
“Maybe,” I say with a slight smile. “Ask me tomorrow when I’m calmer.”
Hayes nods while my crying turns to sniffles.
“I feel bad my mom gave up on life. I also hate her a little for that.”
“I’ve never been depressed, but I hear it’s a powerful thing.”
“I know I should be more sensitive, but she could be alive to see her grandkids. She could meet you. She could have made new friends. Had wild sex in public. She had options.”
“You said your family was genetically inclined to make bad decisions. That’s what she did. Blame genetics instead of her.”
I study his handsome face and enjoy his soft caress. This big, mean man is capable of such tenderness when he wants. Honey can’t see that about Hayes. She thinks of him as a brasher Andrew. I admit a part of me worries about Hayes too. He can often be a temperamental bitch. For right now, I only see the kindness he feels for those he loves.
THIRTY SIX - HAYES
Balthazar tells me if he dies during the flight, he blames me, and I should blame myself too. In fact, I should spend the rest of my life haunted by killing him. I assure him on the way to the airport that I’ll schedule in the guilt thing. Candy shakes her head immediately while squished in the backseat with the kids.
“Your schedule is pretty booked, boss. I don’t know if you’ll have any free time for guilt. You’ll need to delegate that to someone.”
Grunting, Balthazar isn’t happy with her big mouth or my smile in response to her comment. The old man probably wants to give her a piece of his mind, but the kids are staring at him. He knows they’re staring too. More than once, he lowers the visor to look in the mirror. No way is he checking his appearance. He’s keeping an eye on the dark-eyed demons in the backseat.
At the airport, the twins decide to sit on each side of him.
“We already have a grandpa,” Chipper says.
Cricket adds, “He flies all the time. Why don’t you?”
“I have a busy life. No time for flying.”
Balthazar’s need to impress the twins makes me laugh. Candy catches my reaction and rolls her eyes.
“Don’t encourage them. They’re tormenting an old man.”
“What do you call what you did in the car?”
“Being honest. You are busy. He’ll need to survive, or you’ll need to delegate. Don’t give me the job, though. I suck at guilt.”
“I’ll keep that in mind when you break my heart.”
Candy throws her head back and laughs so loudly the other waiting passengers frown at her. I hear someone suggest she’s drunk.
“How is that funny?” I ask, spotting Lizzy Anne heading in our direction.
“I’d never break your heart. In fact, I consider part of my job to protect it,” she says, wrapping her arms around one of mine. “Even from me.”
After giving Candy’s forehead a quick kiss, I regain my hard exterior for Lizzy Anne.