She stayed silent until they reached the second-circle and her eyes instantly found the Jeweler’s Guild, its spires spearing the sky, glittering under the moons’ light as if it was a jewel itself.
“It makes me feel like a dirty, lying traitor,” Adelina finally said. Her voice broke on the last word and Nadyah’s heart ached for her. “There are so many parts of my life—I said I didn’t want to think about Nash, but I love him and still do. But I plan to marry Varan if he is not your mate; there are feelings between us, even if it may just be attraction and friendship at the moment. Then there is you…I just don’t quite know how to choose, or if I even can.”
Those thoughts were so familiar Nadyah could only nod as she recalled her own. It was something all courtesans went through at one point or another, and it was not easy to come to terms with.
“The people of the Draga galaxy have never been set in our ways when it comes to love,” Nadyah said as they wove their way through the streets, avoiding the larger puddles when they could, and keeping watch on the people passing by them. “Others find true happiness with more than one lover, but to find a union of more than two people who work seamlessly together is not always easy. It is in the instincts of the wolf and the human to be possessive. It can be difficult to share.”
Adelina said nothing.
So Nadyah continued on, hoping to explain it in a way that would help. “It is normal for courtesans to feel this confusion,” Nadyah said, trying to help her princess understand. “How you feel for me does not negate your feelings for Nash, or even Varan. Each person you find attractive settles some part inside you, and this is simply what it means to be a courtesan, we have the ability to love many people. It is why when we mate; the bond alters our entire genetic makeup. As there aren’t many mixed-race courtesans, I only know of you and Ian, I cannot say what it will be like as time goes on, with the mate bond never triggering.”
Adelina would have a difficult time of it. It would not be easy to manage unless her spouse understood or an agreement was made. Even as a courtesan Nadyah felt the strange instinct to possess, the jealousy that flared when she watched Adelina with someone else. She knew she would have to instruct her with another male one day in the same room with them and it would be—hard to watch and not join in.
They stopped outside the gates to the courtyard of the Ladrole in the slice of warm light from lanterns swaying in the breeze, rain pattering gently on the stone.
Adelina finally turned to Nadyah and studied the courtesan’s face. “You are saying I am not genetically built to be monogamous.”
Slowly, she nodded. “As a part courtesan with the mate gene deactivated, no you are not built for that.”
Adelina cocked her head and inspected Nadyah’s disguise, only the sapphire eyes and white skin remained true. “I love Nash,” she admitted.
“I know you do.” Nadyah had seen it clear as day before Adelina had known it herself. “But you may love others, and love him until you decide what you want to do. Because there is nothing wrong with loving more than one person. Look at your parents.”
“I suppose that is true.”
“There is no rule against marrying more than one person either. It’s simply a matter of who will be prince and who will be consort,” Nadyah said. “Nash might agree to that.”
“Perhaps, but it would not be simple.” Adelina was quiet for a few moments and then, “What would Nash think of what I did today?” Adelina asked. It was nearly a plea for Nadyah to tell her she hadn’t crossed a line.
The rain started to fall harder, sluicing off their cloaks to the ground but neither of them moved. Nadyah didn’t dare break the princess’s gaze, the animalistic gleam still there, but not as terrible as earlier. “Nash—” she began, trying to think of the right words. “Nash knows that part of you exists. I don’t think he would have been surprised, or—disgusted. Their people are much more in line with their animalistic natures than we are.”
“And you,” Adelina’s words were sharp and pointed. “Were you disgusted?”
Nadyah flinched at the accusation she heard in the tone, knowing Adelina had seen a small change in her – and now she had to pass the test after Joslynn had failed. “I am not disgusted, and I was not when I watched it happen.” Truth, she had to tell her the truth. “But I was perhaps afraid. I knew there was more to you, Lina, but I don’t think I ever realized how much of a true Draga you really are. You hide it so well, and…no one else knew it was there either. I was afraid for you, and afraid of what it would do to you. The wolf in all of us can be—merciless, and difficult to resist.”
Lightning cast strange shadows on Adelina’s face and her breathing was far too rapid. “I feel it now, awake and hungry,” she whispered. Nadyah could barely hear her over the rolling thunder. “I’ve denied it for so long the wolf is…ravenous. There is so much I want, Nadyah.”
Those hungry eyes devoured her.
“How do I know what it is I want, what it is the wolf wants, and what is simply a reaction from my courtesan genes? How can I tell what is real?”
Nadyah took a careful step forward, and then another as those hungry eyes watched every move she made with predatory stillness. When she shared air with Adelina, Nadyah pushed back a white curl from her face and kissed her, soft and slow. The smell of her jasmine, dark and mysterious twined around them and Adelina’s hands went to Nadyah’s waist and those nails, now back to their original length, pricked her skin through the fabric of her shirt. Nadyah shuddered and slipped her tongue in Adelina’s warm, wet mouth.
The barely restrained lust and violence in her princess set Nadyah’s skin on fire, but Adelina held onto it and didn’t let it consume her. The princess shuddered when she realized it as well. Then Nadyah took a step back, breathless.
“It is all real,” she murmured. “All these different facets are still parts of you. They are what make up who you are, Lina. To deny one is to deny a part of yourself. Accepting all of the pieces will help you understand who you truly are, and that you are the one who is in control.”
Nadyah took Adelina’s hand and led her towards the warmly lit courtyard of the Ladrole. “You do not have to do something you do not want to do,” Nadyah told her. “Or something you do not agree with simply because of an instinct. I don’t sleep with every male or female I see no matter how beautiful they are and how much my body tries to convince me to do so. But I do use that part of me to seduce the ones I feel something for – with all the passion and desire I possess.”