Jacob's Ladder: Gabe (Jacob's Ladder #1)

After dragging him over to a secluded corner, I hissed, “Let’s get one thing straight: Linc is my son, not yours. You don’t get to voice an opinion on how I raise him, especially after going behind my back like you did with the guitar.”

“I’m fully aware he’s your son, but would you stop and listen to yourself? You’re getting absolutely hysterical over nothing.” Hysterical. Over. Nothing. He didn’t wake up to an empty house and wonder where Mommy had gone. He didn’t watch the father of my son run from the hospital room. It was not nothing to me.

“Don’t you get it? It isn’t nothing to me. I’ve worked Linc’s entire life to keep him away from the guitar, and you blow in and take it upon yourself to screw all that up.”

“Hey, don’t pawn this all off on me. Linc was learning the guitar before I even got to town, and so fucking what if he was doing it behind your back? He loves it, not to mention, he’s good at it—like really good.”

“That’s all you have to say to me? Did you think you should be apologizing for undermining me and my parenting?”

“I can’t be sorry for something I really don’t feel remorse for. As far as undermining your parenting, maybe someone needs to do it since you’re screwing up your kid’s happiness because of your own warped issues.” What the hell? Who was this man?

I jerked my head back at Gabe’s response. The Gabe I knew would never be so cruel. “My warped issues? How can you say something like that?”

“I guess I’m just a bastard like your ex. I mean, I am a musician, so I fit the mold, right?”

Shaking my head, I replied, “How could I have possibly wasted the last couple of months on someone so insensitive and clueless?”

Gabe’s eyes narrowed at me. “Maybe it was just for the great sex. After all, a bastard musician like me was only ever going to be good enough to be in your bed and never fully in your life or your kid’s life, right?” That’s what he thinks? Wow.

“You seriously disgust me.”

“Hmm, that’s quite a change from when you’re begging and pleading for me to make you come. But I’m only good for one thing, right? I guess you are like your mom—both of you needed a little musician dick to get you through the rough times.”

At Gabe’s comparison of me to my mother, a blood-red haze ran before my eyes. Before I could stop myself, I swung my arm out and brought my flattened palm across his face. The smack echoed through the now silent area behind the curtain.

Gabe rubbed his cheek before smirking at me. “I guess that’s my cue to leave.”

While I expected him to sidestep me and go out the back door, he surprised me by walking over to Linc. My heart shuddered to a stop when Gabe opened his arms, and Linc fell into them. Instead of me comforting my child, it was Gabe.

“And the winner of the Hayesville Elementary talent show is Lincoln Hart!”

Hearing Linc’s name called out, coupled with everything that had just happened with Gabe, sent shockwaves reverberating through me. I knew I couldn’t stay there one second more. I then did something so uncharacteristic of me.

I ran.

Sprinting out the backdoor of the auditorium, I bypassed my car and kept going on foot. Although the winter air stung my lungs and my muscles began to burn, I kept running. I didn’t stop until I skidded through the front door of Harts and Flowers.

Kennedy glanced at me from behind the counter where she was adjusting some freshly baked cupcakes. After taking one look at me, she cried, “Ellie, get out here!”

“Can’t it wait? I’m trying to get the last of the arrangements together for Mr. Johannsen’s wake.”

“Now,” Kennedy demanded.

My frantic gaze bobbed from Kennedy over to the back of the store where Ellie had poked her head out of the curtain. “Oh shit,” she murmured before she came striding toward me.

“Please tell me you guys have a tequila reserve hidden somewhere in here?” I said, barely managing to get it out as I panted.

“No tequila, but there is some rum.”

I nodded. “Get it, and don’t bother with a glass. I’ll drink straight from the bottle.”

“Oh shit,” Ellie repeated.

After I collapsed on one of the overstuffed couches in the bakery area of Harts and Flowers, I watched my sisters scramble around to fulfill my request. Although I’d originally envisioned drinking from the bottle, Kennedy ended up pouring glasses for the three of us. While Ellie sat down beside me on the couch, Kennedy pulled a chair over to sit across from us.

Once I’d downed my glass and half of another one, I unloaded on Kennedy and Ellie about what had happened with Gabe and Linc.

“Fuck,” Kennedy muttered.

“Yep. That pretty much sums it up.”

After we sat in silence a few moments, Kennedy leaned forward in her chair. “Okay, don’t kill me for this since you can be a mean drunk, but would it really be that bad for Linc to keep playing the guitar?” Kennedy asked.

I widened my eyes at her. “Whose fucking side are you on?”

“It’s not about sides, Rae. It’s about what’s best for your son.”

Pouring myself another glass of rum, I sighed. “I honestly don’t know.” And that was the honest to God truth. My mind kept flashing back to how happy Linc had looked playing, but it wasn’t just about him being happy—he was good at it. Had I been wrong all these years about him playing an instrument? I mean, he’d been the same sweet and kind Linc these past weeks while he was playing the guitar. So far so good, right?

Ellie traced the rim of her cup, a contemplative look on her face. “You know, I’ve read about how being involved in music raises a child’s intelligence. It can also give them a focus they can use to stay out of trouble.”

I swallowed down another burning gulp of rum. “I know. I’ve read all that shit myself.”

Kennedy snorted. “Then what’s the problem? Are you afraid of being wrong?”

“Maybe…or maybe I’m afraid Linc will be a small percent the jerk his sorry excuse for a father was.”

Shaking her head, Kennedy said, “Maybe it’s time to realize that Ryan is Ryan and Linc is Linc. I mean, if we were really ruled by our DNA, all three of us would be fucked based on what Mom did. Last time I checked, none of us were quitters like her. Sure, we’ve made our fair share of mistakes when it comes to men, but we’ve never abandoned our family.”

Ellie nodded. “Ken’s right. Thankfully, we’ve all carried on the wonderful traits Dad gave us. The same can be said for you and Linc.”

“I want to believe that—I really do. I just worry what will happen to him when he becomes a teenager.”

“He’s going to be a little shit as a teenager regardless if he’s playing the guitar or not. I mean, remember us as teenagers?” Kennedy said. After glancing at Ellie, she grinned. “Okay, so maybe it was just me and you, Rae. Maybe he’ll take after Ellie and be an angelic teenager.”

Ellie and I laughed. “I could live with that,” I said.

“At the end of the day, Linc is a hell of a kid with a good heart. I can’t imagine him being a truly terrible teenager,” Kennedy said.