Admittedly, it’d taken me a while, but I was getting the hang of asking, not questioning.
I’d recently heard a lesson about the sin of being prideful. It reminded me of Elizabeth’s comment, and I decided it was one of my areas that needed work. Raquel had once said she needed to work on her patience. So it must be all right to have areas that needed improvement, as long as you recognized them. However, instead of working on it, this morning I was relishing in it. I wasn’t prideful for myself; I was prideful for my husband, the important work he did for Father Gabriel and on the Assembly, and mostly his discernment. I’d been ready to accept his correction last night, conceding my transgressions and accepting his judgment. When he’d led me upstairs I knew what was coming, or I thought I did. I said more than one silent prayer that he’d show leniency. Despite the fact that the thought of twenty lashes seemed incomprehensible, once I confessed, there was a peace in knowing it was no longer in my hands. That didn’t mean that I expected what happened. Never in a million years could I have foreseen his contrary reaction.
My face flushed as I thought about last night. It wasn’t as if it had been our first time making love, but to me it had felt that way. How I could ever have forgotten Jacob’s mastery in bed was beyond me. I’d been right when I predicted that he conquered unapologetically and bestowed unsparingly. Maybe it hadn’t been a prediction, but a memory. Either way my body ached—in the best way—with my reminders of last night. Unlike other reminders that I wanted to avoid, the ones I currently experienced could recur every day and I wouldn’t complain. I knew that making love didn’t change our dynamic, but in a way it did. As I made his breakfast and prepared his coffee, I’d realized how much I wanted to please him. Especially if he still supported me with the way I looked. Maybe it wasn’t prideful that I felt, but blessed.
While I debated, sounds echoed from the hangar. I knew Jacob had told me about Brother Micah and the others so that I wouldn’t panic at every noise. Of course it also helped when he mentioned that Brother Timothy would be at Assembly and Sister Lilith couldn’t drive out of the community alone. Though that made me feel better about me, I still worried about him. I doubted he would let their actions go without some kind of confrontation.
I bit my lip wondering if Jacob, an Assemblyman, could confront Brother Timothy, a Commissioner. And what would happen if he did?
As the garage door rose, I hurried to the clock. It was almost ten thirty. Assembly would be over. Hoping this was Jacob, I went to my spot near the door. Briefly I recalled my husband’s words from the night before about kneeling. I wasn’t sure how he did it, but despite my obvious transgressions and his supreme power over my life, he made me feel loved and worthy. I no longer had lingering feelings of resentment about waiting for him to enter. I was happy to do it.
The door opened and my breath hitched. Instead of only Jacob, there were multiple voices. Lowering my chin, I waited.
“Sara,” Jacob said, placing his coat in my arms. “Dr. Newton is here with me. We have a surprise.” He kissed my cheek.
I nodded. “Dr. Newton.”
“Sister Sara.”
Cautiously I walked toward the closet carrying Jacob’s and Dr. Newton’s coats. My mind was a blur of questions. Was this about my eyes? Jacob had changed the bandages this morning, but could the bandages be ready to be permanently removed?
As I began to juggle their coats, a hand touched my shoulder. I spun toward it, immediately recognizing the touch as well as a faint scent of honeysuckle. “I-I thought . . .”
Raquel hugged my shoulders. “Let me help you with those coats.”
I nodded, the sound of Jacob’s and Dr. Newton’s voices reminding me that we were limited in what we could say.
She took one of the coats from my hand and we both reached for hangers. Quietly she whispered, “I don’t know everything, but Brother Jacob got a special dispensation from the Commission and Father Gabriel. Since I work with Dr. Newton, they let me come.” She squeezed my hand. “I’ve missed you.”
The lump in my throat made it hard to speak. “I’ve missed you too,” I whispered. I hadn’t realized just how much until that moment.
“Sara,” Jacob called, “it’s time to do this.”
“All right,” I replied, allowing Raquel to lead me to one of the kitchen chairs.
“Sister Raquel,” Dr. Newton said, “turn off the lights and close the drapes. We need to progress slowly.”
Jacob reached for my hand, and his voice came as if he was kneeling near my chair. “Dear God and Father Gabriel, I pray that you’ve seen fit to heal my wife’s sight.”