Sitting at my desk, I looked over the assignment in front of me, the one I was supposed to be grading. I’d read the first paragraph four times already, each time losing interest and my mind wandering. I dropped the paper, exhaling loudly, running my hands over my face. It had been almost a week since McKenzie had told me she loved me, that she was in love with me. It wasn’t at all how I’d imagined those words passing our lips for the first time—in a dark bathroom, her crying, the words sounding more like a good-bye than the promise of a future together.
That night she’d wiped her eyes, dried her tears, pulled away from me—in so many ways—and gone home. She didn’t wait for her mother, didn’t kiss me good-bye, said practically nothing before leaving my house. It killed me. And since then she’d been distant, hardly speaking a word to me, answering my texts with short, one-word replies, and definitely not touching me. In fact, it seemed as though she was going to extra lengths to stay as far away from me as possible. She’d been late to class all week, coming in just after the bell, making it impossible for me to say anything to her in private, practically running for the door as soon as the period was over, and she’d stopped coming to my house with her mom.
That fact I couldn’t really blame her for, not after what my mother had said to her.
The door to the classroom opened with more force than usual, causing my eyes to dart in that direction. Mr. White strode in, his steps quick, a somewhat panicked look on his face.
“Mr. Wallace, I’m glad you’re here. There’s been somewhat of an emergency with my daughter, and I have to leave. Mrs. Anderson has given the okay for you to cover the rest of my classes, if you’re okay with that.” His statement was a question.
“Of course, I hope everything will be all right.”
“My daughter was in her PE class at the middle school, playing soccer, and they’re afraid she’s broken her leg. They already took her to the hospital by ambulance, so I’m headed there now. My wife is meeting me there.”
“Well, that sucks,” I said, running my hand through my hair, which I’d decided not to tie back that day. “Is there anything in particular you’d like me to cover? In your classes?”
“Oh, um,” he said distractedly as he patted all his pockets, finally pulling his car keys out of the front left one. “You know what? Just give the kids a study period. I’ll catch up tomorrow, or whenever I get back.”
I didn’t bother mentioning that tomorrow would be Saturday. I just nodded and watched as he gathered his belongings in a somewhat frantic manner.
“Don’t worry about anything here. I’ve got it covered.”
He gave me a very weak smile. “Thanks, Hayes.”
He left and I let out a sigh, pushing the paper I obviously couldn’t focus on away. I sat in silence for a few minutes, trying to find a solution to all my problems, to find that path that was obviously eluding me. When no answers came to me, I picked up my phone to text McKenzie.
**Come to my classroom during your lunch.**
It took a while for her to text back, which made sense since she was currently in class.
**You know that’s not a good idea.**
**Mr. White left for the day. The room will be empty.**
It wasn’t lost on me that I needed a convincing argument to get my girlfriend to come have lunch with me. Everything felt wrong, like it was slipping through my fingers and all I could do was grasp at the remaining pieces of what I thought we had together.
**Please, Kenzie. I need to see you.**
Apparently I wasn’t above begging.
**All right.**
Students started filing into the classroom, so I tossed my phone into my desk drawer and prepared to try and make it through two more periods before I saw McKenzie.
When she walked into my classroom a few hours later I was ready for her. I waited until she was all the way in, closed the door behind her, and then turned the lock. Her eyes flitted down, watching my fingers essentially block everyone else out of the room, out of our lives, even if it was just for a few moments.
She didn’t have anything with her besides her messenger bag, no lunch, which made me think she hadn’t come to enjoy a meal with me. Instead she’d come with armor, her shield so firmly in place, even if it was invisible.
“How are you?” I asked, trying to open some sort of communication between us. It wasn’t the real question I wanted to ask her. I wanted to know why she was pulling away, what I could do to keep her close, if she really loved me the way she’d said she did just a week ago, but I know those questions would only make her shield go up even farther, put more of a wall between us.
I watched her face as she battled to answer the question. Her eyes were welling and I let a string of curse words run rampant in my mind. I was so fucking tired of watching her cry. She quickly wiped a tear away and said, “I’ve been better.”
“Yeah,” I said on a breath. “Me too.”
“Why did you ask me to come here, Hayes? You know if someone sees me in here, you could get in a lot of trouble.”
“I just wanted to talk to you. You’ve been avoiding me. At least here we can talk in private.”
She didn’t say anything in reply. Just wiped away another tear.
“Why are you crying?” I asked softly.
“This hurts, Hayes.” Her words were accusatory, like I was trying to hurt her on purpose.