Instead of You

I’d taken band my freshman year, my mother still clinging to her dream of my future career as a flute player, so I’d been inside the room which stored all the marching band outfits—tall black hats and all. The hallway had multiple doors, all of which had tiny windows. Some of them were covered with paper so you couldn’t see inside, and some of them were left uncovered. Beside the equipment room there were a few practice rooms. They were meant for band or choir students to use to rehearse, but I knew they got much more use as a place to hide while you skipped class, or a dark room to make out in during lunch.

The window to the equipment room was uncovered and I could see it was dark inside. I let out a relieved sigh, glad Hayes wasn’t waiting around for me. I opened the door and stepped inside, my hand immediately reaching for the light switch, but another warm hand stopped me.

I yelped in surprise, even as I was being pulled all the way into the room, then pressed against the wall right beside the door.

“Shhhh,” Hayes whispered. “I don’t want anyone to know we’re in here.”

“You scared the crap out of me,” I panted while trying to slow my heart rate.

“I’m sorry.” His words were sincere and coupled with a warm palm cradling the side of my face. “I missed you, and I just wanted a quiet minute alone before I have to drop you off and pretend like you’re not mine.”

His words both broke my heart and stole it away. Before I could respond, his lips pressed softly against mine. We’d not had much time together since the night on his couch the week before. He’d been working a lot, trying to take care of his mom, and the few times I’d tried to go see him, my mom had come along. So when he kissed me, I kissed him right back.

Both of his hands moved to rest against the wall above my head, allowing his body to bow into mine, pressing me harder against the wall, the front of him firmly pressed into me. My arm went slack, allowing my messenger bag to drop to the floor with a loud thump, but then my hands wound around his waist, moving up the center of his back, holding him to me.

My hands moved up, over his shoulder, and oh, God, biceps. Without warning, he pulled his mouth from mine, just far enough to utter breathy, clipped words.

“I can’t stand seeing you every day and not being able to touch you.” The words barely made it from his mouth before it was assaulting mine again. I understood exactly what he was saying, was feeling exactly the same way he was feeling, but I didn’t want to pull my mouth from his to tell him so. I just wanted to feel him. To soak in the connection and chemistry that I shared only with him, to bask in the way my body ignited around him, for him.

His hands came down from the wall, which pressed his torso and hips even closer to me. I felt gentle fingertips roam down the side of my body, but then his firm grasp was on my rear, gripping me, pulling my leg up and holding it behind the knee around his hip.

When his mouth moved from my lips to my neck, I sucked in a dragging breath.

“Hayes, we can’t do this here,” I whispered, even though I really wanted to do whatever came after that. His tongue was tracing lazy circles on my collarbone, then gently biting; it was maddening. “Oh, God, that feels good.” My fingers went to his nape, but his hair was tied back so I didn’t get the silky strands I was looking for. He grunted at my touch, moving his lips back to my mouth. The kiss slowed and he lowered my leg, eventually just wrapping his arms around my waist.

When he finally pulled away, he rested his forehead against mine as we caught our breath.

“You’re not going to that party with Nathan Patterson, are you?”

“What?” My voice was high-pitched and incredulous. Suddenly, everything became clear. “No. I would never.” I couldn’t see him very well, but I knew he was looking in my eyes, trying to see something that wasn’t there, perhaps trying to figure out if I was telling the truth or not. “Is that why you dragged me in here? You’re trying to mark your territory?”

“It kills me to watch every guy you pass check you out. Then that Nathan prick just sat down next to you and invited you to a party, and I just had to stand there and fucking take it.”

“Take what? You don’t have to take anything, Hayes.” I reached my hands up to cup his cheeks and make sure I had his attention. “Nathan invited me to a party, but I’m not going with him. He’s not going to be my date.”

“But you’re going?” His voice registered somewhere between hurt and angry.

“I’m going with my friends. To a party.” I tried to calm him by gently rubbing my thumbs across his cheeks. “I’m not going with Nathan. I’m just going to try and do normal stuff, like I used to.” I could feel him nodding, as if he were attempting to understand my position.