Jake looked at her so intently, she was afraid he could see everything. She was bare before him, without taking a stitch of clothing off. That was what she’d always had with Jake, but now it was more intense, now it meant something far beyond what the two of them—the three of them—could comprehend.
“I saw you across the bar all those years ago and knew I needed you in my life. I took you home because I wanted to make that happen. What you don’t know is that I figured I’d find a way to keep you there for longer than just that night. Then shit happened with Murphy, and we had to call it quits.”
She squeezed his hand, her lips pressed together. “I would have fought to stay then,” she whispered. “I felt the connection, too.” It was the first time she’d said that; the first time she’d revealed what she’d hidden for so long.
Jake’s eyes flared. “And then I was too late, and I get that. So I stayed because I knew you were something, Maya. I wanted to be a part of your life, even if it was just as your friend.”
“There was nothing ‘just’ about the way I felt about you, Jake. About the way I feel about you.” She paused, not wanting to dive too deep into that before they’d gotten through the practicalities of what was going on in the room right then.
Jake’s mouth tilted in a smile before he let out a deep breath. “No matter what happens between us, if this is just a short-term thing, or something more, I don’t want to lose you as my friend. Fuck, Maya, you know me better than I know myself most days, and I’m not going to lose that. So we’re friends first. Got me? If we find out after we do this, this thing between the three of us, that we suck together and we’re better off as friends, then we’d better damn well stay friends.”
He blew out a breath.
“Friends first, Maya,” he repeated.
“Friends always,” she said firmly. “That I promise you. We’re going to stay friends. I know it’s easy as hell to say that now, but we’re not like most people.” She at least hoped that was the case. Because if she lost Jake, she wasn’t sure what she’d do with herself. Hell, she’d become a shadow of who she was when she’d thought she lost him to Holly. While she didn’t like the fact that part of her relied on Jake like that, she knew there wasn’t another way for her to be. He was too ingrained in her soul.
And maybe it was time to do something about that.
And about the man on her other side.
Because no matter what, he was there, too, and she had a feeling that the fact that he hadn’t been there for so long was the reason she’d never felt like it was time to be with Jake.
She’d focus on those feelings when she could, but for now, she needed to make sure she’d have her friend at her side in the end. And perhaps, just maybe, have Border, too.
Holy hell, she didn’t know exactly how this had happened, but if she kept agonizing over it, she’d break.
Instead of continuing down a spiral of thoughts that would only confuse her, she turned to Border and slid her hand into his.
“Friends,” she said softly. “With something a little more, I think. But friends.”
Border silently stared at her with such intensity she could feel her cheeks heat. Damn it. She wasn’t the kind to blush, but now she couldn’t help it under his stare. While she knew Jake inside and out, she only knew what Jake had told her about Border. The unknowing, the mystery, just turned her on more. More than she’d ever thought possible. Add in the idea that she’d be sleeping with her best friend at the same time? It was a wonder she didn’t combust right there.
Jake let out a rough chuckle. “Can I just say how fucking hot it is to watch the two of you look at one another. Because the idea that you both want each other just as much I want the two of you turns my crank.”
Maya snorted at Border, who raised a brow at her. She turned to look at Jake. “I thought we were the ones supposed to play with your crank.”
Jake laughed outright. “Let me say one thing, then you can touch, suck, lick, and fuck my crank as much as you want, honey darling.”
She narrowed her eyes even as Border laughed. “What did I say about the pet names?”
Jake just smiled at her sweetly. “I’m working on finding the right one, cinnamon bun.”
She took her hand from his to smack at his chest. He just laughed, and Border moved so he could wrap his arm around her waist. She looked over her shoulder at him, and he shrugged, seemingly relaxed at having her back against his hard chest and one hand on her hip.