I swallowed. “Successful. Driven…” my voice trailed off. “And yeah, maybe a little cold. You don’t get where you’re at so quickly without being a little ruthless.”
“In business,” he said, standing. “Ruthless in business. That doesn’t mean I turn my back on my friends.”
Just on your lovers, I wanted to add.
“Look,” he said, leveling his gaze on me. “You’re going to have to go home and pretend everything is normal. Give him some openings to come clean, but leave it up to him. It’s his decision. You need to honor that.”
I rubbed my face. “How do you suggest I give him some openings?”
“Ask him how he’s doing. What he’s up to. Remind him that you love him. If he wants to tell you, he will.”
I bit back the urge to sigh. “Okay. Sure.”
But I wanted more advice.
I wanted to know what I was supposed to do about the internship. How I was supposed to get on a plane for Dallas when my brother’s health could fall apart? How I was supposed to be excited for my dad and his promotion when I knew this would derail it all the second he found out?
“Hey,” he said, tucking a tendril of hair behind my ear. “His prognosis is good. It’s not like it was with your mom. It’s not the same.”
“It feels the same,” I said. “It feels like round two of a nightmare.”
Silence fell, and I stared down at my hands, wringing them in my lap. “I’m sorry I made you leave work.”
“You needed me,” he said, and it scared me. I had needed him. Two days ago I’d gone years without him, and in a flash, he was back, burrowed into my life as if he’d never left.
“Why did you tell me you came back for me?” I asked, still staring at my lap. “It wasn’t true. You came back for my brother and your center, but not for me.”
“It felt like it, in that moment.”
That was life to Landon, lived one moment at a time. But a moment would never be enough for me.
“You can’t do that to me.”
“I can’t tell you how I feel?”
“You can’t make me think you feel things you don’t.” I looked up. His eyes narrowed, something akin to confusion and annoyance swirling there. “I’m supposed to get on a plane in three hours,” I suddenly admitted. The words had just come out, without me planning to say them.
He stilled, staring me directly in the eye. Searching for more explanation. But for a long stretch of a moment, I didn’t’ want to give it to him. I wanted him to wonder and feel confused, the way I’d felt.
“Why?”
“I got an internship. One I wanted desperately last year, but I had to give it up when my Mom’s health started to go downhill.”
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “How long have you known?”
“Why? Because you’re the only one allowed to disappear without notice?”
The intensity of his stare only got stronger. “How long?”
“Since yesterday.”
He stared, his look pointed. I felt sorry for anyone he’d ever worked with, who probably shrank under his gaze. “And you were just going to leave?” he demanded.
I laughed, and it came out bitter, tinged with anger. “So what if I was? I don’t owe you anything. Whatever this is, I’m not stupid. Nothing with you is permanent. So yeah, I was just going to leave. I was going to pursue my dreams. Wasn’t it you that told me I had to go for it?”
He shook his head, something like loathing in his expression. “That doesn’t excuse the fact that we were together last night and you knew you were leaving without telling me.”
“Why?” I asked, standing. “Because you’re the only one allowed do that? Because you get to fuck and forget, but god forbid someone do the same to you?”
He didn’t even flinch. Just stared at me, an undercurrent of irritation beneath his skin. “People don’t leave me, Taryn.”
“You’re right. Because you do the leaving before they can.”
“It’s not like that with you.”
“It’s already been like that with me! That’s the whole fucking point. You left me for three years, without so much as a goodbye,” I said, my voice rising.
I stepped back, and the stool toppled over. He didn’t react, just stared at me with accusation in his eyes, like I was the one ruining this. Like this was ever going to be something.
He finally shook his head. “Not everything that happens is about you, Taryn.”
“You know what, I changed my mind. You are a cold bastard and I can’t do this anymore. I’m getting on that plane in three hours, and while I’m gone, I’m going to forget you.”
I stormed out of his house.
And it stung to realize he didn’t follow me.
Chapter 2
Hitting the green call button on my phone sent a wave of nerves through me.
Please go to voicemail, please go to voicemail. It was a mantra in my head. A plea for mercy. But of course, I was not so lucky.