He talked about me like I was some car he was borrowing. Like I had a deadline for return, else I become a pumpkin.
We left the house, walking out to Landon’s silver Audi. He held the door open for me, and when I twisted around to slide in, I couldn’t help but notice my brother in the window, watching.
Landon fired up the car, the engine purring as we headed out of the drive.
Prestige was at the Western edge of the Orting valley, closer to the freeways that picked up miles out of town. I watched as the subdivisions gave way to the farmlands, watched as the cornfields swayed in the summer breeze, trying to process my brother’s new reality.
Trying to process the version of Landon who swooped in with Alka-Seltzer and crackers and promises of Gatorade. It was a tender, nurturing side I hadn’t expected to see.
“I’m sorry I said those things this morning,” I said, when I couldn’t take the silence any longer.
“You apologize a lot,” he said, glancing over at me.
“And you apologize so little,” I replied, grinning at him. I wanted to stay mad, wanted to keep the distance between us, but after seeing him with Matt, after knowing how much he’d probably helped my brother in his greatest time of need, I couldn’t bring back the anger.
“There’s very little I regret about my choices,” he said. “So I rarely find the need to apologize.”
My grin faded and I turned back to the window.
“I didn’t want to leave you like that,” he said. “Back when I left town.”
“Then why did you?” I asked, desperate for an answer. One minute we’d been together in his bed, naked and poised at the edge of the cliff. And right when I thought we’d jump, he instead pulled the blankets up around us, and cradled me against him. To cuddle. I’d been so fired up, so desperate to finish what we’d started.
I’d never felt so rejected in my life. Before or since. And I still didn’t understand why we’d gone from so hot to cold.
“I had my reasons,” he said finally.
I sighed and sank further into my seat. Maybe I never would get my answers.
“I was nothing then,” he said, after a moment. “I had nothing to offer you.”
“I didn’t need you to offer me something,” I replied, propping my knees up on the dash. “I just needed you.”
“I wasn’t ready for anyone to have me. I had a chip on my shoulder bigger than this town could handle, and the burning desire to prove myself. If I’d stayed, I would’ve made you miserable.”
I glanced over him, the glare of the sun throwing his eyes in shadow. “That’s not true.”
“It is true. Maybe you can’t see it, but I know it. I’m not the kind of guy who stays satisfied for long. It’s best you know that now.”
I wanted to argue, but there was too much truth in his words. And we were pulling up at Prestige, anyway.
“Wow,” I murmured. I’d seen it a time or two as I barreled by at fifty miles an hour, but never pulled into the winding drive and parked under the soaring carriage entrance. Three guys—built like Mack trucks—walked past as we came to a stop. One of them waved at Landon as he disappeared through the automatic doors.
I sat up abruptly. “Wait, was that-“
“Carl Bennett,” Landon confirmed. “Wide receiver for the Seattle Seahawks.”
“Oh,” I said, unable to come up with anything else.
Landon put the car in park and pulled the keys from the ignition. “Training camp starts next month. He’s trying to gain an edge. They drafted a first-round rookie in his position and he’s determined to keep the kid on the practice squad.”
“I see,” I said, even though I didn’t. How would Landon’s glorified gym give Carl Bennet an edge?
“Come on, let me show you around,” Landon said, as if he knew he needed to show me exactly how and why his center would do just that.
We got out of the car, and it chirped behind us as Landon hit the alarm. I followed him through the front entry, cold air blasting around us, replacing the sticky-hot summer air. Sweet relief.
A long, curved front desk sat at the end of the cavernous space. Four receptionists were talking with… patients? Athletes? I wasn’t even sure what to call them.
A fifth receptionist—who was quite striking with her light blond hair and blue eyes--nodded and smiled a little too widely at Landon as we passed by. She reached over and hit a button, and a door ahead of us swung open.
I tried to suppress the tightening in my belly as we went past her. I hated that instead of paying attention to what Landon was showing me, I was stuck wondering if he’d slept with that blond receptionist.