God, I miss Cole so badly I want to cry. I miss his broad smile, I miss the way he touches me, I miss how he always listens. I haven’t been the friend to him lately that I should be. No, I can’t fix this stuff with Christina, not yet, but maybe there’s hope I can repair the damage with him.
I need to stop being scared and go talk to him. My heart throbs hard, and I swallow down my sudden rush of anxiety. It’ll be fine. Deep down, Cole’s a reasonable person. And if he is judging me for something bad I did in my past that had nothing to do with him…well, that tells me a lot about his character, doesn’t it?
But I can’t sit here and do nothing, or I’m going to lose my best friend.
It’s just after lunchtime. The bar crowd should be a bit slower right now. Decision made, I gather the bids and stuff them into a folder. My hands only tremble the slightest bit, and I smooth down the front of my skirt as I stand.
My stomach is a crowd of butterflies, and my heart won’t stop hammering as I walk to Emme’s desk. “We’ve received all the bids for the Mickey’s Pub remodel, so I’m going to swing by and see if the client has a contractor preference. There are a couple I think would be perfect, but he might have his own feedback on it.” It’s a thin excuse to go see Cole; even I can hear that.
To Emme’s credit, she doesn’t give me any kind of look. I know she saw how droopy and depressed I was last week at work. Frankly, she’s probably glad I’ll be getting out of the office. I’ve been putting in a lot of late hours each night to avoid going home.
I can’t stop feeling Cole in my cold, empty bed, and it’s killing me. Sleep has not been my friend lately.
“No problem,” Emme tells me smoothly. “Do you want me to call ahead and let them know you’re coming?”
“Nah, I’ll handle it,” I say. “Thanks. I’ll be back in a bit.” My low black heels clack across the floor as I head to the elevator. Go down to the main level of the building, hop in my car.
Grip the steering wheel and navigate my way to the bar.
Traffic is light, so it doesn’t take me long to arrive. I find a parking spot near the front of the bar and pull in. The flock of butterflies in my stomach start whirling harder, and I draw in a few steadying breaths, staring at the brick fa?ade of the building.
What do I say to Cole? Will he look happy or disappointed to see me? God, I’m scared. I feel like everything is on the line right now, and I’m afraid to make it worse. I just don’t want this distance between us anymore. It’s been too many days of not speaking, and I gotta try something.
I press my fingers to my belly, draw in more slow breaths, exhale until I’m not so light-headed. Then I grab my purse and the folder and head into the bar.
Xander’s behind the massive wooden countertop, drawing a dark beer for a customer. The room has patrons scattered throughout at various tables, with a few sitting at the bar itself, nestled comfortable on bar stools. Adult alternative music plays soft in the background.
The top of Xander’s dark hair glows gold under the overhead lights. He glances over at me and offers a friendly smile and wave, and my heart almost explodes from the sudden rush of relief I feel. At least he doesn’t hate me. That’s a good sign, right? “Hey, Lauren! Come on in. Can I get you anything? You thirsty?”
I shake my head and make my way to the end of the countertop, plopping the folder on top of the bar. “No, I’m good. You have a couple of minutes to talk?” I try to be as subtle as possible as I scope the room. I don’t see Cole. Maybe he isn’t working today. Damn, I should have thought this out better. In my rush to come here, I didn’t consider the fact that he might not be around.
Xander gives the customer the beer, rings it up to update the man’s receipt, then comes over to me, resting his forearms on the surface. “Sure, I got some time.” He drops his voice down. “By the way, I don’t know if Cole told you yet, but Dad is going to be selling his portion of the business to another buyer.”
I blink hard. “Whoa, really?” My heart lurches as I realize immediately that Cole never said a word to me. “No, I didn’t know,” I finish lamely. “Has he come home?”
“He did last weekend.” Xander scratches the back of his neck, and his gaze skitters away then back to me. “So, yeah. Cole’s going to help me out in the meantime until we find a permanent partner.”