I Just Want You

Reaching for her hand, I manage to slide the ring on her finger. “Berklee Hanson, I love you. You are my heart, the very breath I take, and I cannot live without you. Will you do me the incredible honor of being my wife?”


Her tears flow faster and a tiny sob escapes her lips. She raises her hand and inspects the ring, not saying anything, so I keep talking. “I’m not doing this because of the baby. I had already bought it. I’ve always known from the day I met you that this is where we would end up. Every part of me infused with every part of you. I want this, what we have. I want our future, our babies, our life. I just want you.”

She silently wipes at her tears. Finally, she speaks, and they’re the sweetest words I’ve ever heard. “I love you too.” She smiles through her tears.

“Is that a yes?”

She nods. “Yes.”

I lean in and kiss her. taking my time, tracing her lips. Pulling back, I rest my forehead against hers. “You’re mine, both of you. We’re having a baby.”

She laughs. “We are.”

“Thank you. For giving me a second chance. For making me a husband and a father. Thank you for loving me.”

“Crew Ledger, you’re impossible not to love.”





TODAY IS OUR four-year wedding anniversary. It also just so happens to be my due date for baby number two. Did I also mention that it’s New Year’s Eve? Crew badgered me to set a date, and jokingly Maggie suggested New Year’s Eve. Crew loved the idea—new year, new start and all that. I didn’t care when it was; I just wanted to be his wife. I wanted to start our lives together, and preferably before the baby came.

Our parents were supportive, and when we told them we wanted a destination wedding, they didn’t blink an eye. It was beautiful with our closest friends and family. A day I will always remember.

Not only is our personal life fairy tale worthy, at least in my eyes, Club Titan is also thriving. Crew and I have been talking about expanding, maybe opening another branch but no definite plans have been made.

“Hey, B, where are the extra plates?” Maggie calls from the doorway of the kitchen.

“I’ll show you.” I scoot to the edge of the couch and push myself up. Before I can take two steps, our daughter, Corrine, comes flying at me, wrapping her little arms around my legs and almost knocking me off balance.

“Momma, Daddy said you’re going to get a spanking.” Her blue eyes, so much like mine, stare up at me.

“He did, did he?”

“Uh-huh. What did you do?”

“She won’t sit down and keep her feet up,” Crew says, answering for me. He stalks toward us, lifting Corrine in one arm as he rubs my belly and then snakes the other around my waist. “How’s my boy?” He nods to my belly.

“Sleeping. Not much activity today.”

“Should we call the doctor?” he asks, concerned.

“No, I’m fine.”

“But we should probably go, you know, to get checked out.”

“Stop! I’m fine. This is not my first time doing this, you know.”

“Baby, I just think that—”

“Crew, leave the woman alone. I swear the nurses down at the hospital are still talking about you from when this little angel was born,” Sarah says, taking Corrine from his arms.

“But—”

“Babe, it’s fine. Let’s just enjoy today. I was three days late with Corrine. Caden will come when he’s good and ready. Now, I need to show Maggie where the plates are.”

“Sit. I’ll show her.”

I roll my eyes but do as he says. Pick your battles and all that. Crew has always been protective of me, but when I’m pregnant he’s like normal, everyday, non-expectant daddy Crew on steroids.

His mom’s right. When I was pregnant with Corrine, every little ache, or pain, or funny look I gave him, he was taking me to the hospital to get checked out.

Crew brings me a plate and sets it on the table beside me. “Thanks, babe, but I have to pee. Again.”

He chuckles and helps me from the couch. As soon as I stand, I feel something trickle down my leg. At first I think I peed myself. I stand frozen, embarrassed, that doesn’t last long as my mom walks in the room, takes one look at me and says, “Her water just broke.”

Crew jumps into action, lifting me in his arms and running me outside to our SUV, yelling over his shoulder for I’m not sure who to keep his little girl safe while he’s gone. He grips the wheel and badgers me with questions all the way to the hospital.

“I feel fine. No contractions. Yes, Corrine will be okay. Mom can bring my bag later,” I answer him dutifully.

He’s a good man, honorable. He loves me and our kids with every ounce of his being. He’s nervous and protective and I know this. That’s why I humor him.

Pulling up to the emergency department, a contraction hits and I scream out in pain. Crew hops out of the SUV and grabs a wheelchair from just inside the door. As soon as he opens my door another contraction hits.

“Sit, babe. Those are close together.”

I don’t answer him as I focus on breathing through the pain. He gets me in the wheelchair and takes me inside. The nurses see him and laugh—until another contraction hits me and I scream out in pain. They all jump into action and I’m whisked off to a room, my husband hot on our heels, refusing to leave my side. They give him a gown to help me change. As soon as my pants are off, another one hits.

“Can we get a doctor in here?” Crew yells. “You got this, babe. I wish I could take the pain from you. I love you. Thank you for my son, my daughter. I love you,” he says again.

The doctor comes in as another contraction hits. “Let’s take a look,” he says.

“Wait a minute. Are there not any female doctors on tonight?” Crew asks.

“Crew! Get out of the damn way. This baby is coming, so unless you plan on delivering our son into the world, move your ass!”

That snaps him into action and he moves out of the way, never taking his eyes off the doctor.

“How long have you been having pains?” the doctor asks.

“Just minor aching. I know that’s normal.”

“How long?” he asks again.

“Since yesterday,” I say through gritted teeth.

“What?” Crew turns to face me. “You didn’t tell me.”

“I just thought it was—” Deep breath. “—common. It wasn’t—” Deep breath. “—unbearable. Just a slight dull ache, and it wasn’t constant.”

“Well, this baby is ready to meet his parents. Dad, hold her legs.” He nods to the nurse to do that same. “No time for an epidural, I’m afraid. It’s time to push.”





“ON THE COUNT of three. One, two, three,” the doctor says. Berklee bears down and a scream rips from her throat. I feel helpless and I’m ready to lose my shit seeing her in this much pain. When she delivered Corrine, she had pain meds, an epidural and something else. She didn’t scream like this, like a monster has taken over my sweet wife.

She reaches out and I offer her my hand. She crushes it as the doctor counts her to another round of pushing.