“He said that?” Barry growls.
“Leave it,” I tell him. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t want him to be with me out of pity. I don’t need him to raise this baby. I’ll always have the best part of him.” My words end with a sob.
“Come here.” Barry joins Mags and me on the bed and wraps me in a hug. “I’m so sorry, B. I thought he would act differently. He’s not a man. No man would turn away a woman and his unborn child.”
“He loves you,” Maggie adds. “I’ve seen it. He’s scared and confused, maybe angry that you waited to tell him, but he loves you. I know he does.”
“Tell him that.” I laugh humorlessly. “He obviously didn’t get the memo.”
“What can we do?” Maggie asks.
“Nothing, just thank you for being here. I need to find a job and a place to live, I guess.”
“What? Why?”
“He f-fired me too. Said th-that I would get a g-good severance.” I close my eyes, take a deep breath and slowly release it, willing myself to calm down for the baby. “You two didn’t sign up to live with a single mom. I can’t do that to you.”
“The hell you can’t!” they say at the same time.
“I’m tired. I just want to sleep.”
“Have you eaten?” Maggie asks.
“No, I’m not hungry.” She gives me a stern look. “I’ll get something later, I promise. I just want to sleep for a little while.”
“Okay. I’ll be here all night, so just yell if you need anything,” she says, squeezing my hand.
“I have to run out, but I’ll be back soon. No talk about leaving. We got you.” Barry kisses my forehead and leaves the room.
“B, I’m here for you, no matter what you need. Just say the word.”
“Thanks, Mags. I just need some sleep.”
“Okay,” she relents. She leaves my room, turning off the light and closing the door. Leaving me to my tears and the pain, and the fact that my worst fear came true.
He doesn’t want me.
WHEN ZANE ASKED me where my girl was, it took every ounce of self-control I have not to punch him. He caught on to my mood really quick when I told him she wouldn’t be in and that I didn’t want to be bothered. I stomped upstairs to my office, and this is where I’ve been ever since. The club opens in an hour, but tonight I’m sitting this one out. I’ll be right here, drinking away the pain, or at least numbing it. I don’t want to see any of the staff, especially Carly. I’m not ready to answer questions. I’m not ready to deal with what it means to be here without her.
“Hey, man, you coming down?” Zane asks from my door.
“Fuck off,” I say, not bothering to even look at him. I can’t take my eyes off the two Tiffany’s boxes that were delivered today. Express shipping. Two little blue boxes that were for her. She fucking played me for a fool.
“What did Tiffany ever do to you?” Zane asks.
“What?” I turn to look at him. “Who the fuck is Tiffany?”
He laughs and points at the two small boxes.
“Don’t you have work to do?”
“I do, and so do you. We have a club to run.”
“That’s what I pay you for. Whatever it is, handle it. I don’t want to see anyone.” I look up at him. “Including you.”
“That’s how you’re going to play this?”
“No games. That’s not my gig. But Berklee?” I pick up the picture of her from my desk and hold it up for him to see. “She plays games. She’s damn good at it too.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Nothing. Go handle whatever comes up and leave me be. I need tonight.”
“Ledger!” a loud, very pissed-off voice yells as heavy footfalls stomp up the steps. I don’t give a fuck who it is; they can turn around and go right back to where they came from.
Zane turns to face the door just as Barry appears. I stand immediately and clench my fists. “What the fuck are you doing here?” I seethe, taking a step toward him.
“You motherfucker! I can’t believe you left her. You make her fall in love with your sorry ass and then leave her when she needs you the most.”
“Fuck you! I can’t believe you have the nerve to show up here after what you did.”
“Me? You left her!” he roars. “She’s a fucking mess because she believed you would be there, and look at what you did.”
I take another step toward him. “Look what I did? It was you. I saw the proof. You two deserve each other.” My control snaps and I throw a right hook, slamming into his jaw.
Zane steps in front of me, hands on my chest. “No more,” he orders. “Would one of you jackasses care to tell me what the fuck is going on here?”
“Gladly. Your boy here, he fucked her over. Knocked her up and now he doesn’t want her. Kicked her out with the promise of a severance package.”
Did I hear him right? “Repeat that,” I say, my eyes locked on his.
“Cut the shit, Ledger. Don’t stand there and act surprised. You fucking left her!” he screams.
“No, I. . . .” I stumble backward, thankfully meeting the side of my desk. “She was. . . . There were pictures. . . . You texted her.” I run my hands down my face to try and erase this fucking nightmare.
Pregnant.
“What are you rambling on about?”
“The fucking pictures!” I yell at them. “Carly, she sent me pictures of you and Berklee from last night, and she’s been distant, and then the text message asking if she told me, that I deserved to know. I. . . .” Oh God, please say I didn’t just walk away from her and my baby.
Barry scoffs. “You’re telling me you had no idea she was pregnant.”
Tears prick my eyes. “I have something to tell you.” Her words filter through my mind. The sickness, her being tired—it’s all clear now.
I fucked up.
“No,” I say over the lump in my throat.
“Did you give her a chance to explain?” Zane asks. His voice is soft, as though he’s speaking to a wild animal that could attack at any minute.
“No,” I say again, barely getting the word to pass my lips. Fuck, Berklee, she thinks I don’t want her or my baby. I have to go to her. I have to fix this. Turning, I grab my keys and phone and see the two Tiffany boxes. I shove one into each pocket. “Is she home?” I ask Barry.
He stares at me, scowl on his face, arms crossed over his chest.
“Is she home?” I say again.
“Why should I tell you where she is? You left her, kicked her to the curb, remember?”
I stalk toward him and stand toe-to-toe, nose-to-nose. “Because I fucking love her. She’s my entire fucking world and I fucked up. I get that. I’ll make it up to her.”
“What makes you so sure she’ll take you back?”
“I’ll fight for her. I won’t stop until she sees that she’s it for me. And”—again with the fucking emotion—“my kid. I’m going to be a father to that baby. They’re mine, both of them, and I won’t stop until she’s back where she belongs.”
“And where is that exactly?” he counters.