Her question confused me, but right before I answered her, I remembered something. At the time, I hadn’t given it much thought, and I would’ve forgotten about it completely if she hadn’t asked me with that curious glint in her eye. “Uh…yeah. Last year, though. It was around Thanksgiving, maybe earlier. Someone from the Clark County Clerk of Courts had called, said something about records and verifying marriage licenses. I didn’t think anything of it; it was all so formal. She just asked if I had married you on July fifteenth, twenty twelve in Las Vegas, Nevada. I said yes. She asked if it had been annulled or dissolved, and I said no. She didn’t ask anything else, and I didn’t think to question it.” By the look on her face, she had more to say. “Why?”
“I was told before leaving the show—when they informed me I was legally married—that they had called you. To be honest, with everything going on, I totally forgot until now. This last week apart, I’ve replayed everything over and over again, and that was when I remembered. You were surprised to see me when I showed up on your front step. You seemed genuinely shocked when I admitted to knowing about the marriage. You didn’t have a clue how I’d found out. At the time, with so much going on, so many things to say, I didn’t think twice about it. But the producers told me something interesting when I met with them earlier.”
I waited with bated breath for her to say more, but she didn’t. I figured I had to pry it out of her before I died of heart failure. “So you did meet with them already…what happened? What did you tell them?” I frantically searched around the room, hoping to lay eyes on the folder containing our divorce documents without ever pulling myself from the floor at her feet. “Baby, tell me we still have a chance.”
Her expression was difficult to read. First appearing soft, her lips almost seemed on the verge of smiling, but her breathing came off slightly labored, as if she were having a hard time confessing something. And that paralyzed me.
“You’ve called me ‘baby’ a lot since you got here.”
I pinched my brows in thought, wondering why that somehow had any significance to her. But I didn’t question it and only answered her, even though she had yet to give me a single answer to anything I’d asked. Although, I didn’t exactly have room to complain. She didn’t owe me anything—I was the one who owed her the world. “Yeah, I guess I have.”
“Why? You have before, at completely random times, but never this much unless we’re having sex. It just makes me curious.”
I could tell she was doing this to test my patience. It was in her smiling eyes. “I’m not certain. Maybe because I’m not holding back like I have been. Because I don’t care if you think I’m coming on too strong. Hell, Jelly, it could be a million different reasons. I love you. I’m in love with you. I want you to come home with me and be my wife—not like we have been, but for real. Like…for real, for real. Your last name matching mine and a house belonging to both of us with a deed that says Holden and Janelle York. I’m talking babies and mini vans and my firm and your event planning. I want it all. And I want it with you. I’m not hiding anymore…baby. This is me, being who I am for the woman of my dreams, the woman I love, the woman I will do anything for if she were to give me the honor of spending the rest of her life with me.”
Her eyes brightened and became glassy, which meant she was on the verge of tears. Which wasn’t a good sign for me, considering that usually meant she was pissed off…at me. So I sat there, on my knees, at her feet, with my arms wrapped around her and my eyes pleading, begging her to not give up on me, on us, quite yet. I cherished this moment between us, fully aware that it may be the last time I get to hold her.
“I like it,” she whispered, almost to herself. I wasn’t even sure I’d heard her correctly until she gave a demure grin and traced the taut lines on my brow with the tip of her finger. When she went back to the sides of my head, running her fingers through my short hairs, I decided it couldn’t be as bad as I feared. “The producers told me they had attorneys who could handle our paperwork for us, possibly speed up the process so we can get the ball rolling with the rest of it.”
My heart sank to the pit of my stomach, and then my stomach twisted and knotted.
“I told them no.” That one sentence breathed life back into me. “I came all the way here to follow through with the original plan. You kicked me to the curb, so I didn’t feel like I had any other choice. I don’t think I’ve ever thought very far ahead. It was always pick the stone up and throw it, and then focus on where it landed, make it there, and then repeat it all over again. I don’t think I’ve ever picked my head up and looked beyond the stone to see where I was even headed. For all I know, I could’ve ended up in a lake or walking right off a bridge. Today, I looked past the stone.”
My throat was so tight I wasn’t sure I would be able to speak when I asked, “And what did you see?”
“You. It’s always been you.” And that sentence pumped life back into me. “So I told them I wasn’t interested in their help with the divorce, because this time, I would be the one to fight it. I told them I have no desire to marry Connor for money or any other reason. That’s when they explained the show to me.”
I bit my lip and pulled her closer, hanging on her every word.
“They found me because they’d confirmed I was married. They were the ones who called you and asked for verification, and from when you said you got the call, it sounds like it was all part of the grand plan. There were ten guys and ten girls, all meant to pair off into ten couples. Half of us had been married in Vegas four to seven years ago. The other half were staged. It was part of some experiment, I guess to see if we’d end up figuring out our shit or follow the money.”
Surprise made me speechless and I couldn’t do anything other than stare at her.
“There were seven couples who actually did what they were supposed to—which as it turns out was basically pair up with one of the dummies. Out of those seven, so far they haven’t written any checks. And aside from me, there’s one other couple who forfeited the money. The others they’re still waiting to hear back from.”
“So was there ever any money?”
She shrugged and took a deep breath. “I assume so. I mean, they said they would give it, so I guess they would have to. But that doesn’t matter to me, because I don’t want it. I already turned it down and that’s when they explained it all to me.”
“You chose me before I showed up in New York?”
Her smile stretched across her face and it drew me up off my knees. It dragged me up her body until I hovered over her, laying her across the mattress.
“Then why did you try to close the door in my face?”
“I don’t know…I guess I was caught off guard to see you here. That and Connor was bleeding and the sight kind of grossed me out. Oh, and I had just woken up so I’m sure I look like shit. There are a hundred reasons, Holden. But none of them make any sense.”
I straddled her waist and held her hand in mine, making sure she watched as I slid the ring down her finger and over her knuckle until it fit perfectly in place, not giving her the chance to argue with me about it. “Oh, and by the way, I told Matt.”
“About what?” Panic filled her wide eyes.
“Everything. I told him I was leaving work to chase after you, and then told him why.”
“He knows about Vegas?”