She was aware I had money. Maybe not how much, considering I hadn’t gotten rid of my first house, the one I bought when Matt and I had first started out, before we began to actually make real money. I’d kept the house for a couple reasons; aside from it being my first home and that it held sentimental value, I’d also bought it thinking I’d one day share it with my wife—who at the time was Janelle. And aside from renting her that storefront, telling her she didn’t need to worry about it for now, I’d never flaunted what I had.
Then again, I’d practically begged her to let me be her husband and take care of her financially until she was able to get on her feet with her own business. I’d even declared she didn’t have to work. And then there were her words from a little over a week ago when she told me she wasn’t worried about being hurt—her concern was me getting shafted in the end. When I’d given her the envelope containing the lease, she’d made such a big deal about what would happen if we were divorced, that this lease would make things complicated. Now it became all too apparent why it caused concern. She’d never stopped planning for divorce.
It had basically been spelled out in front of me, if only I’d opened my eyes to see it sooner. Instead, I’d chosen to live with my eyes wide shut, fooled by her naked body in my bed every night. She’d blinded me from the start with who she was—my best friend’s sister, the girl I’d known over half my life and been in love with for years. Who would’ve ever thought someone that close to me would’ve been capable of stabbing me in the back? I never did. And even standing here now, staring at her own words—practically a signed confession—I still didn’t want to believe it.
But it was true.
And I was the only one to blame.
This entire time, I thought I had the upper hand. I thought I was safe from harm, that she’d never do anything like that to me. For some stupid reason, I had it in my head that what happened between us was more than this, more than lies and stealing and heartbreak. I’d let my guard down, but I was wrong. Then again, all I had to do was take a good look at her actions and I should’ve been able to predict all this.
This was the same girl who’d turned her back on her family. She’d taken her parents’ hard-earned money and used it to party for five years, going after a degree she didn’t need. Her dream job was to throw parties for a living. That should’ve been enough to slap me in the face, but it wasn’t.
It all fit together perfectly, no matter how badly I didn’t want to believe it. If she waited a little bit longer, she could take more from me than just my heart. I’d made all my money in the course of our marriage, which meant she was entitled to half of it. And then once she finished taking me to the cleaners, providing the given year hadn’t expired, she could marry the asshole and make even more money.
I was such a fool.
I’d asked for this, all because I wanted to bring her family back together. Well, it seemed I had succeeded in doing so, only I’d managed to ensure that my position in the family expired.
“Hey, Janelle?” I locked her phone and set it back where I’d found it. She was still in my bathroom, but rather than walk all the way into my room, I stood by the doorway and called out for her. “This is a family thing, so I think I’m gonna stay out of it.”
She peeked her head around the corner and scrunched her brow in question. “What? That’s silly, Holden. You are part of the family. He’s your best friend, and you’ve kind of been a big part in this since the beginning, right? You deserve to be there to celebrate with everyone else.”
“Nah. This is a Brewer thing. Plus, Matt and I already celebrated the other day at lunch. Tonight is for the family. I don’t think anyone has been told, and I suck at acting surprised, so it’d be best if I didn’t go.”
“That’s not what’s going on.” She stepped into the room, and I feared if she came much closer, I would lose my composure and tell her everything—which I couldn’t do until I had time to dissect it all. “What’s wrong? What happened after you walked out of here a few minutes ago?”
“Nothing. I was just thinking about this whole thing and realized I really shouldn’t be there.”
“Are you just going to stay here? If that’s the case, I’ll stay with you.”
“No. I actually think I’m going to meet up with some guys I haven’t seen in a while and hang out. I don’t want them thinking that just because I have a woman living with me it means I can’t make time for them.”
“Oh…okay.” She nodded slowly, and I knew she didn’t believe me, but I didn’t have anything else to offer. “What time will you be home? I don’t think the dinner will last too long, but I can come home whenever you do.”
I licked my bottom lip, hoping the pain in my chest would lessen. “Eh, you take your time. This is a big deal for you guys, and it’s an even bigger deal that you get to be included this time. The entire family will be together while your brother shares probably the biggest news of his life.”
Rather than wait for her to say anything else, knowing I wouldn’t be able to handle much more, I retreated and grabbed my keys off the table. She never came out of the room, and behind my closed eyes, I pictured her standing in the same spot just outside the bathroom, next to her side of the bed, confusion settling in every shallow crease on her perfect face. I didn’t want to be responsible for putting the pain in her eyes, but I didn’t have much of a choice.
And as I drove away from my house, from my wife, I reminded myself that I hadn’t been the one to make the decision. She had. I didn’t make her lie to me. She did that on her own. I didn’t make her lead me on for money. That had been her choice. The only thing I had done was give her my heart.
Foolish me…I never thought to ask her to take care of it.
19
Janelle
Dinner at Matthew’s house was good—better than good. The entire family was excited to hear the news, and even more thrilled to find out how far along they were. At sixteen weeks, they were able to find out the sex of the baby, but they’d decided to keep that to themselves for a little bit longer. I didn’t blame them. With the stress and worry over the last three months, praying every day that they’d make it to the next, fearful that saying anything or having the slightest bit of hope would somehow jinx it, they deserved to keep a little something for themselves.