“Yeah. I think so. Plus, that way, after our time is up and you get your divorce and gameshow prize money, we might want to hang out like normal people.” He squeezed my good foot and offered a strained grin. “My biggest fear has always been that this would end and we’d have nothing to show for it. Because had I known when I knocked on your hotel door after the wedding that what we did that night would end our friendship, I would’ve gone straight to my own room.”
My heart swelled at his honest, raw, and kind thoughts. Although, it also fissured, knowing that no matter what, at the end of our arrangement, we would end. I wasn’t sure why that bothered me, considering that had been my purpose in coming here. That had been my reason for agreeing to live with him, and it’d been the only thing I had thought about since hearing the news.
I wanted a divorce.
I wanted to end what we never had the chance to begin.
And knowing I’d get it broke my heart.
10
Holden
Ronnie sat on the edge of my desk after reading through an email she’d received and asked how I wanted her to proceed. Matt was off for the day, so everything seemed to land on my plate, and as if that wasn’t enough, I’d somehow gotten stuck to her. Literally. As in the button on my shirt sleeve became attached to her skirt, and the more I pulled, the worse it got.
Apparently, things hadn’t quite gotten bad enough, so the universe decided to choose that moment for Janelle to walk into my office. Of all the days, of all the times, she chose now to come visit me for the first time.
I glanced up, mouth hanging open in shock—and burning irritation. Ronnie peered over her shoulder, and Janelle froze, her gasp ringing out in the room. I didn’t even get her name out of my mouth before she turned and fled out the doorway.
“Fuck it,” I grumbled and tore my arm away from Ronnie’s skirt, effectively ripping the button off my sleeve. “Janelle, wait.”
We caught up with her in the hallway—her limp came to my advantage—and I grabbed her forearm to keep her from retreating.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.” Aside from the apologetic tone in her voice, I could also pick up on the testiness. “The door was open so I didn’t think to knock. I’ll leave you two alone.”
“Janelle, wait. Come back to my office. You came here for a reason, right?” That’s when I noticed the bag in her other hand, and by the logo on the side, I knew it was food from my favorite deli down the street. “You brought me lunch? In that case, you’re definitely not leaving.”
“But what about…?” She turned her attention to Ronnie, whose smile gave away that she enjoyed this a little too much.
“Don’t worry about me,” Ronnie practically sang. “I’ll be running off now. Enjoy your lunch.”
Knowing Janelle would have a plethora of questions and more than a few vengeful statements on the tip of her tongue, I dragged her back to my office and closed the door behind us. “I had no idea you were coming up here.” I sat in the seat next to her on the front side of my desk. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
Even though we were the only ones in the room, her cheeks still turned pink and she refused to meet my gaze. “I was out running a few errands and noticed the time. I wasn’t too far away from the office, and when I realized that I’d never seen where you and Matthew work, I thought I’d check it out. I knew he wasn’t here today—therefore, I figured this would’ve been the best time to come so he wouldn’t ask questions.”
“What do you mean ask questions? About what?”
“You know…like why I’m here, what’s going on between us. That sorta thing.”
“Janelle, you live with me. I think it’s safe for you to bring me lunch at work or come see my office. We don’t have to be in a romantic relationship for you to do that. Friends visit each other at work all the time. And have lunch together.” The more I talked, the darker her cheeks became. “Has anyone said anything to you already?”
“Not really. Last weekend at my parents’ house, Nikki had assumed we were more than friends—that’s where the whole mystery man came from. She said I had a glow and concluded it was you who put it there, and as soon as I told her we were just friends, everything spiraled.”
I leaned back in my chair, slouching almost, and glanced down at the bag of food sitting next to her feet, which brought my attention to her ankle, reminding me of the slight limp she still had. Grabbing her leg by the calf, I directed it to my lap so I could take a closer look at it. There was still a little discoloration, but the swelling had almost all gone away.
“It’s good to see you in sandals again,” I teased after taking off her flip-flop.
She shook her head but huffed in laughter. “Yeah, I’ve accepted I’m just not meant to be sexy.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Janelle gestured to the door and shook her head. “Like Veronica. She makes heels with jeans look like sex on a plate. Obviously, that’s what guys go for. I can’t pull that off. I’m a jeans with flip-flops kinda girl, and I guess I always will be.”
I ran my hand over the top of her foot and up her shin, mesmerized by how smooth her skin was. Her feet seemed so tiny, even though I knew they were probably average, and her red toenails made them look dainty and unbelievably sexy. When I glanced up and met her stare, I realized I’d grown lost in her feet. I might’ve been embarrassed had it been anyone else, but this was the same girl I once caught stuffing her bra with water balloons.
“Jelly,” I said with a grin, knowing she would assume I was teasing her, but I wasn’t. “If you ask me, I prefer flip-flops on a woman. If I see someone dressed like you, I know they can hang. Whereas if I meet someone in jeans and heels, I would assume they’re high maintenance. And for me, personally, I don’t want someone who has to spend hours getting ready to go out. Or someone who can’t leave if it’s raining because of what it’ll do to her hair. I like laidback.” My words bounced around in my head, and I realized what I’d said, so I quickly tried to cover. “And I’m almost positive I’m not the only one.”
She blinked at me as if I spoke in tongues. “You don’t like people like Veronica?”
“I mean, I like them. I would just never choose to date them.”
Her wide eyes swung from the door to me, back to the door, before finally settling on me. “So…is she only a booty call or something? I guess I got the impression she was more than that. Spending the night? I’d never sleep over at a guy’s house if we were only hooking up. And I’d certainly never go to their office.” She must’ve realized where she was, because she shook her head and waved me off. “Well, you know what I mean.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, and the more I did it, the quieter she became. When it turned into bellowing chuckles, she squinted her eyes and silently willed me to answer her unasked questions, her confusion coloring her entire face.
Yet, I decided to have a bit more fun before I gave in. “Oh, I’m not interested in Veronica.”
“But she…” Her eyes moved to my desk, where Ronnie and I had been stuck together when Janelle had first walked in, then she glanced back at me. “And she spent the night a couple of weeks ago. Unless you lied to me.”