I Do(n't)

Laughing, he leaned forward until he pulled himself to his feet. “You coming inside, or do you plan to isolate yourself even more and stay out here, staring off at an empty lot? I could tell Mom you’re thinking about buying it so you can build a house on it and live across the street from her. I could really make her day if I told her you planned to live there with Holden and have all his babies.”

“Ew.” I scrunched my nose and curled my lip in faux disgust, when secretly, my ovaries were throwing a party and saying prayers. “He’s your best friend, and I’m your baby sister; don’t you find that repulsive?”

He shoved his hands into his pockets and grinned. “I don’t like the idea, so don’t go taking me seriously and try to make it happen, but I can’t say it repulses me. Ultimately, I want someone for you who will take care of you. You deserve someone to love you unconditionally and stand by you every single day of your life. I know Holden is the kind of guy who could do that, which is why I don’t hate the idea. Although, I feel certain there are others out there capable of treating you just as well, which means you should find one of them. My statement was in no way a blessing or a show of support.”

“Whatever, Matty. You know you two have been planning our wedding since you were kids so you guys could finally be brothers.” We both laughed in unison while he helped me off the porch and led me back inside.

Matt grabbed a beer from the fridge and then headed out back where it seemed everyone else gathered. I found a single can of my favorite soda hidden in the back on the bottom shelf, and as soon as I pulled it out and let the door fall closed, I shrieked in surprise at the sight of Holden standing there. I glanced around the room and then peered down the hall, pleased to see we were alone.

When my heart slowed down enough to talk without sounding like I’d suddenly picked up jogging, I moved closer to him and lowered my voice. “Matthew told me about you giving Stacey money. He said they had bills even after moving home and you helped pay them off. That was really nice of you.”

It took him a beat, but he finally pulled away from me and turned to leave without speaking.

I grabbed his hand, unintentionally slipping my palm against his and lazily lacing our fingers together. “You don’t have anything to say? You’re just going to walk away as if I didn’t just speak to you?”

“You didn’t ask me a question, Janelle. Therefore, I’m not required to say anything. And honestly, I don’t even know what to say to that. Are you asking me if that’s true? Then yes. I did. They needed help, and I had the resources to help them, so I did. Should I thank you for the awkward compliment? In that case, thanks for telling me how nice my gesture was. I didn’t do it to look nice.”

I swallowed thickly and glanced around once more, needing to be sure no one could overhear my next words. “You got really defensive in the bathroom when I accused you of having an affair with her. I understand I was out of line and what I said was uncalled for. But I can’t stop thinking about your reaction, which wouldn’t be more than an errant thought had I not just found out about the other thing.”

“What other thing?”

“You giving her money. I wasn’t lying—that was really nice of you to do. And I understand that you did it because you’re a good person with a good heart. I know I have no right to ask this, but I’m begging you to tell me the truth. No matter what your answer is, I won’t tell anyone. You have my word on that, especially since you have so much against me. But I need the peace of mind one way or another.” I licked my lips and paused to swallow past the knot in my throat.

But Holden didn’t give me the chance to finish my question. He leaned into me, walking me backward a few steps until the counter met my back and stopped my retreat. Rather than hold himself up by the edge of the granite as he towered above me, he gripped my hips and held me against him. I had my head all the way back in order to see him as he peered down at me, my breath catching in my throat, my heart racing as each second passed.

“You wanna know if there’s anything going on between me and your sister?” With most of our fronts pressed together, he lowered his mouth to my ear, completely forming his body along mine. “I’ve been inside you, Janelle. Just because you forgot doesn’t mean I did. It doesn’t mean it didn’t happen…all four times. And I remember every single second of it. I know in detail what it was like to break through your virginity, to be the first one to ever slide all the way into you. To be buried balls-deep in your pussy. I’ll never forget the way you sounded when I made you scream for me the first time. And every time after that. The way you gasped my name as you came on my cock.”

Seconds before I gave in and humped his leg like a stray dog, he took a step back and leveled his heated stare with mine. “I have a strict policy against keeping things in the family. Once I’m with someone, all siblings are added to the no-touch list.”

I nodded…and blinked…and fought desperately to catch my breath without looking like a panting whore in church. But I failed. Miserably. Luckily, all Holden did was laugh and leave me to recover alone in the kitchen, where I melted against the counter with the cold can of soda pressed against my feverish neck. If anyone walked in right now, they’d more than likely offer me one of Mom’s estrogen pills and the ice pack she kept in the freezer to combat her hot flashes.

I was so screwed.





8





Holden





We managed to make it through the rest of dinner without another issue. Though, I did see what Janelle was talking about regarding the awkwardness with Stacey. I made sure to keep an eye on them without being obvious, and even though Stacey wasn’t rude to her, she wasn’t exactly accommodating, either. I only hoped after another week or so it’d all be back to normal, and maybe she’d start to open up to Janelle.

By the time we got back home, it was still early enough to hang out, so I asked her to watch a movie with me. Ever since she came out of her room this morning nearly naked, I’d plotted my revenge. And this seemed like the perfect time to execute my plan. She headed back to her room to change, and I quickly stripped out of my clothes, leaving me in nothing but my boxer briefs. Then I sat on the couch, much like she had this morning, and waited for her like a lion waits for its prey.

“What movie did you have in…?” At first, she didn’t see me as she came down the hallway from her bedroom, but the second she made it to the living room, she dramatically slowed and her speech halted. It wasn’t like she’d put on the brakes or acted like she’d hit a brick wall. It was far more slow motion than that. First her body—her feet continued for a few more steps after she’d made eye contact. Then her words rolled to a stop after a couple syllables, and finally her expression—eyes wide with shock, mouth agape. And then, as if someone merely decelerating to rubberneck at a traffic accident, she began to come back and gradually continue. “What are you doing?”

“Waiting for you. And I’m not picky; we can watch whatever you want. Free movie channels this weekend, ending tonight, so you have plenty of options.”

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