She sucked in a breath.
With that breath, the fight left her body, her hate shimmered into sadness, and she melted into an angel I could no longer hurt—physically or verbally.
My temper snuffed out as quickly as it had built.
“Last night meant a lot to me, too. But that’s beside the point.” My fingers slid away, resting on her collarbone. “Please don’t make it any harder than it already is.”
We stared in silence for a long pause, accepting that this was over.
“I’m sorry, Elder.” She sighed heavily, swiping at the tears on her cheeks. “I became selfish. I guess, I hoped…” She looked up with sudden determination. “You have no idea what you did for me last night. You brought me here, you showed me romance, and connection, and togetherness. You took me out to dinner and showed me what love could be like. I need you to know how grateful I am, and even if we never get to do that again, at least I know what I’m searching for when I go home.” She gave me a sad smile. “I have a comparison of what I want and will never settle.”
My heart bruised then set fire to itself at the thought of her with another man. A nice man. A man who would marry her and dote on her and kiss her good night for the rest of their lives.
It hurt.
It fucking killed.
It was exactly what had to happen.
I backed away.
Coming toward me, she took my hand and pressed it against her face. Kissing my palm, she nodded as if she’d finally accepted my terms. “Thank you, Elder. For everything.”
Pulling away, her gaze softened. “There’s only been one man I’ve loved, and he was taken away from me when I was far too young. I loved my father. And even though we haven’t had much time together, I want you to know, I love you, too. Maybe not the traditional kind of love or in-love between a couple who found their way through fewer messed-up beginnings but a love that is forever fundamental. I love you for rescuing me. I love you for helping me. I love you for showing me the true meaning of lust when I was so afraid.”
Her shoulder kissed mine as she moved naked and regal toward the bathroom door. “I won’t make the rest of our time together any harder on you. I’ll go get dressed.”
I couldn’t move.
Literally couldn’t fucking move.
My heart had stopped beating. It had to have. It was replaced by some supernova catastrophic starburst.
She’d used the word love.
She’d said she loved me. Not in love with me. Not family obligation love. Not friendship love. A love that I’d earned. A love that could never be bought or broken.
Love.
The one element I’d been denied.
The one emotion that’d crippled me beyond measure because it’d been taken away, and I never expected to get it back. To find someone other than my family to give it to me? To have her grant me such a selfless, wonderful gift?
It made my knees buckle.
Did I deserve such a thing?
Had I shown her what love could be like?
Hell no.
I’d done a shitty job.
I’d been cold and ruthless and only worried for myself. I hadn’t let myself fall. I didn’t show her a fraction of what it could be like between us. And now, I never would because she would command me to take her home the moment she heard about her mother.
She’d take me up on my offer for her freedom, and I’d be left on my yacht alone, empty, and cursing the very ground she walked upon for ruining what was left of me.
I moved.
My legs, my body, my heart.
“Pim, wait.”
She spun around, her dress from last night in her hands and shock upon her face.
I barrelled into her, gathered her up, and stormed toward the bed.
She let out a gust of surprise as I placed her gently on the mattress, climbed on top, and kissed her.
In that moment, I wasn’t battling my own needs but giving her everything she deserved.
I kissed her sweetly, delicately, adoringly.
Her mouth parted, her tongue touched mine, and her moan echoed in my heart far louder than in my ears.
My hips pressed into her belly, fully revealing just how much I wanted her. Not just once or twice or a thousand times. But forever—if a man like me could ever hope for such a thing.
Breaking the kiss, I held her face in my hands, locking my elbows on the bed. “I never want you to doubt how wonderful you are again. You’re everything and more. You’re more than I can bear. You have the power to hurt me worse than I can stand. Don’t you see that? You’re blind if you don’t.”
I kissed her again, claiming her protests and questions with a deep sweep of my tongue.
I dropped my fingers from her cheeks to her breast, sucking in a grunt at the full heat of her flesh, relishing in the healthy glow replacing the yellow and green bruises from before.
She bowed into me, her lips parting wider in pleasure. Kissing my way down her neck, I murmured, “I want you, Pim. I want to fuck you so much you have no idea.”
Her skin flushed as I ducked and captured her nipple in my mouth. “I’m barely holding it together knowing you want me. That you wouldn’t try to hide. That you’d let me touch you again…”
Her arms instantly wrapped around my head, holding me close, taking control over my pressure and speed.
I fucking loved it as much as I cursed it.
I might be at my gentlest right now, but I couldn't let her restrain me. Teaching her a lesson, I bit her delicious breast.
She flinched then shivered as I circled my tongue over the nipple I’d just punished. “You use the word love, yet you don’t fully understand it. Do you want me to show you…one last time? Do you want me to make love to you?”
Fear drenched me.
Knowledge of what this would do to me.
What it would mean.
But as her eyes turned hazy and a sensual smile decorated her face, I knew I had to do it for her. I would suffer the consequences. I would wear the pain, the shame, the horror of what would become of me all to honour what she’d given.
She stared, not giving me an answer.
“You have to say it, Pim. Tell me.”
Her eyes tightened as she sucked in a breath. “Yes, I want you to make love to me. One more time.”
“In that case, you have me.”
“Now?” The terrified, hopeful look undid me.
“No, not now.” Climbing off her, I backed away from the bed. If I didn’t put space between us quickly, I wouldn’t be heading to work. I’d break all my rules, and she’d be well and truly fucked not just once but again and again.
I’d promised I’d make love to her not fuck her.
I needed to find a way to do that without killing myself.
Rearranging my erection so it didn’t drive me insane, I muttered, “We’ll stay one more night.”
Scooting off the bed, she stood naked with victory and anticipation. “Thank you.”
“Oh, don’t thank me, little mouse. Don’t thank me for giving me exactly what I want. You should curse me. I would.”
Without saying goodbye, I left her to dress while I went to drown myself in work.
Tonight, she was mine one last time.
Tomorrow, I’d tell her about her mother.
After I’d shown her exactly what love could be.
After I’d tasted her.
Licked her.