"Yeah, I'm almost done packing, and the movers should be here later this afternoon. I'm calling Jordan and Alex after I get off the phone with you."
"What if you're wrong and they are willing to commit to more?"
I shrugged, forgetting she couldn't see it. "Then I’ll call the movers and cancel. It's much easier to cancel than getting them out here at the last minute. As soon as this breakup is over, I’m not going to want to stay here another night. Too many memories."
I wiped at my cheek angrily. I was so tired of crying.
"I understand. So, I might see you later, or I might not. Call me, okay? Love you, girl."
"Thanks, Liz. Love you."
I hit the end button on the phone and took a deep breath. Better get this over with.
"Hello," Alex answered.
"Hi," I managed to squeak out.
"Hey Sam, what's up?" His voice turned husky and my mouth went dry.
One sentence and I was ready to surrender. I shook my head. Be strong, I told myself.
"Hey Alex, uh, can you and Jordan come over? I need to talk to you both." I was proud of myself when my voice didn't crack.
"Sure, hold on."
I heard muffled voices and assumed he was talking to Jordan.
"Hey," he said when he came back on the line. "We're done with work, and Jordan was just checking e-mails, so we can head over there now."
Both Jordan and Alex worked from home. They owned their own computer programming company, and it appeared they were successful too.
I envied their work schedule. Being your own boss must be awesome. I worked as a file clerk in a small lawyer’s office, a small local firm in Kingston, Tennessee. It wasn’t very exciting, but it paid the bills and was close to my apartment.
"Sam?" Alex's voice broke through my thoughts.
"Oh, ah sorry, yes, that's fine. See you in a few."
I hung up without saying goodbye, no sense in saying it twice. I rested my head back against the couch and stared at the ceiling, my hand still clutching the phone in my lap.
Alex had sounded excessively eager. He probably assumed I called to hook up. I closed my eyes in frustration. That was exactly the problem, I thought angrily. I called and they assumed it meant sex. Well, I guessed they were in for a rude awakening.
When the doorbell rang, the anger that had surfaced helped keep the nerves at bay, and when I opened the door, I didn’t break down. I also didn’t smile back when Alex gave his usual heart-stopping grin.
"Come in," I said calmly.
Alex frowned as I closed the door behind them. I looked at Jordan, but his usual mask of indifference was in place. I mentally shook my head. How could I be in love with someone who never showed any kind of emotion? Alex, I could understand. He was fun and sweet. Even though he didn't want a relationship, he always treated me well.
I sighed. Honestly, Jordan did also. I scolded myself for being so hard on Jordan. He was sweet too, when he wanted to be. It just took more to break him out of his shell.
He bought me flowers once, when my cat died. She had been old and the death expected, but it had still been painful. I’d come home from work to find three dozen flowers sitting on my kitchen table. The card had said from Jordan and Alex, but when I thanked them, it had been obvious Alex didn’t know anything about it. It was the first time I’d ever seen Jordan look embarrassed, so I dropped any dramatics I felt toward the gesture and just said thank you with a kiss on their cheeks.
That had been before we started having sex. In fact, everything that had me falling in love with them happened before we became physical.
Jordan and I could talk for hours about unimportant stuff, such as movies, then in the next moment get into a discussion on politics without killing each other. I remembered how Alex would diffuse the heat of an argument with jokes that would have us rolling.
I smiled inwardly, thinking about those days. It had been simple and fun, but truthfully, we probably would have ended in a similar spot. I was in love with them both, and they didn’t feel the same. I knew without a doubt I wouldn’t have been able to stay in a one sided relationship for long, even if it was only friendship.
My gaze took in both men, as they waited for me to say something. They stood straight and stiff with tension. I guessed my expression was a bit unfriendly. I tried smiling, but it was probably more of a grimace, so I gave up.
"You can sit down if you want," I said, thinking it would be easier if they weren't looming over me while I talked.
Both sat down on the couch, still as rigid as they had been standing. Jordan crossed an ankle over his knee and fidgeted with the hem of his black dress slacks. He must have had a meeting that day. When working at home neither of the men needed to dress up, but I had to admit Jordan looked hot in the robin's egg blue button down shirt. It drew attention to his beautiful eyes.