I looked at Alex. "He talks for you now?" I practically sneered.
He gave me a chiding look. "No, but he’s right. Now, tell us what's wrong."
Both men stared at me expectantly, but I wasn't ready. They were willing to stay with me for a little while, and there was no reason to ruin my special time with them.
Sighing, I shook my head, all the fight flowing out of me. "Nothing really, I'm just tired. It’s been a long week," I lied.
They both had given me disbelieving looks, but didn’t push. Maybe they hadn’t really wanted to know. That thought broke my heart a little bit more.
Jordan nodded. "I noticed the dark circles under your eyes when we got here." He ducked his head sheepishly, and my eyes widened. Jordan rarely looked embarrassed. "Sorry, I was so selfish, I didn't stop to think about it."
"It's okay," I stammered.
"You need to take better care of yourself, Sam." Alex gently scolded. "Now scoot over and let us slide in beside you."
They both crawled into bed, placing me between them. My head rested on Jordan's smooth chest, as Alex spooned behind me, our arms surrounding each other. I was in heaven. If only this was how it could always be.
I sighed, remembering what tomorrow would bring. It was over, and I needed to move on, for myself, for them and for…
“Go to sleep,” Alex whispered against my neck, and I did.
I fell into a deep dreamless sleep, nestled between the two men I loved for the first time and the last.
2
Sam
Pacing the living room, I mentally calculated what I had left to do. Everything in the bedroom, bathroom and kitchen were pretty much packed. The living room and a couple of large pieces, like the television and a bookcase, I would finish last. Luckily, the apartment came furnished, and I wouldn’t have to move any of the larger pieces. That made it much easier and faster.
Sighing, I looked around the room again, wishing I could just start filling more boxes. I didn't have much more to pack. The bookshelf had only a few knickknacks and a couple of books. I did have to clean out the TV cabinet. There were a lot of movies in there. I had started somewhat of a collection when Jordan and Alex began coming over for movie nights. Of course, that was before everything got complicated.
As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t start on the living room yet. I still had to meet with the guys and I didn’t want them to see me packing. I would tell them I was moving, but I saw no sense in throwing it in their faces how quickly I would be gone.
I wasn’t sure why I bothered. I doubted they would even care. No, that wasn't fair. They would care. In fact, I had a feeling the breakup would be rough. They both were very dominating males and would fight to keep things the way they were, if only to stave off rejection. No, I definitely hadn’t thought they would make it easy for me to walk away.
The phone rang; reminding me it was time to stop stalling. "Hello?"
“Hi, Sam, how did it go?" My best friend, Liz, asked.
Sighing, I flopped down onto the couch and clutched a pillow to my chest. "Well…I haven't talked to them yet."
"Why not? Have you changed your mind?"
"No, I haven't changed my mind. I just… I don't know." When silence greeted me, I blew out a breath. "Okay, I do know. I'm scared," I whispered.
"Hey, it's going to be all right."
Liz's voice took on the soft quality she was known for. She always knew the right thing to say when someone was upset. She never failed at being there for me, and I loved her dearly.
"I know you're scared Sam, but are you sure they are completely opposed to making a commitment?"
"Yeah, I'm sure."
"Then you have nothing to worry about."
"That doesn’t make any sense, Liz," I groaned. "You’re usually better at this."
"Ha ha," she mocked. "I'm not done, smarty pants. Tell me, what are you so scared of?"
"Everything." My voice was so soft I doubted she heard me. Louder I said, "I guess I'm afraid of the end. I know I have to, but I love them, and it’s going to be hard to walk away. And even though I know they don't want more of a relationship, they might put up an argument to stop me."
"If they don't want more, then why would they fight it?"
“Sex. What man would willingly give up good, free sex so easily?"
"Sam," she groaned. "I don't think it is just sex. Jordan and Alex are good men," she stressed.
"I know, they’re the best, but that doesn't mean they want a relationship with me. I told you what the deal was between us, no strings, no commitment, no overnights and no babies." My eyes stung with unshed tears. I sniffed and closed my eyes to stop them.
"Oh honey, I'm sorry."
"I know, Liz. It's all right."
"Listen, take your time, but not too much. The sooner you get it over with, the better. Call me when you're through, okay?"
"I will. I should see you tonight."
"So soon?" Liz asked, clearly surprised.