“Found? You were looking for me?”
Alex nodded. “Yes, we looked for a couple of weeks, and truthfully, we gave up too soon. I think we, or at least I, thought maybe it was better for you if we stayed away. I was breaking, though. I missed you too much. It was eating me alive not having you with me. It wouldn’t have been long before I would have broken down and searched again, and I would have never given up again.”
My eyes filled with tears. Alex might never tell me he loved me, but his words sounded the same in my ears.
“He’s dead on,” Jordan kissed the top of my head. “I was already wrecked, but I felt so guilty for the way I treated you. I told myself to stay away. I don’t deserve to have you in my life. Ultimately, though, I am a selfish man. I would have found you.”
“Oh guys, there is nothing to feel guilty about. I forgive you for the harsh things that were said and done in that stupid argument. Honestly, I’m also happy about the fight. I think it brought our attention to what we were doing wrong. I want to talk more, like we are doing now. No more hiding out of fear.”
A tear dripped down my cheek and off my chin, as I held them close. It was really happening. We were finally going to be together, and I could not have been happier.
“I love you,” I stated.
I wanted to start our new honest relationship with my biggest secret. Jordan and Alex were silent, and I hugged them closer, reassuring them that it was okay.
“I love you both. I always have. That’s why I ran, because I was scared it was only one sided, that you could never love me back. Now I know that’s not true. You both have shown me plenty of times how you feel. I was just too dense to see it.”
Sighing, I snuggled closer to the men I loved. Their warmth surrounded me. I felt cocooned in their reassurance and approval. I realized over the few months we were apart that I was a strong woman. It took leaving them to find that in myself.
Jordan and Alex had never seen me as a weak person. I didn’t think they would have ever been attracted to me otherwise, but I just hadn’t seen it in myself. I felt more confident, and I knew that if things didn’t work out between the three of us, I would be devastated, but I would survive. You would think that knowledge would lessen my love for them, but on the contrary, it only made it stronger.
“I needed you to know, because I wanted to be honest with you. I can’t hide anymore, don’t want to hide what I’m feeling, and I promise I never will again.”
They held me in silence, and I closed my eyes, feeling an overwhelming sense of relief. I found my voice and told them how I felt. Whether they acknowledged my feelings or not was up to them. I would not be pushy. They would talk to me when they were ready.
It was the new me. The argument between us taught me so many things. The main lesson was that communication was absolutely necessary in any relationship. If I had spoken up about how I was feeling from the start, we wouldn’t have gone through so much heartache.
“There is so much we need to talk about,” Alex said, and I could hear regret in his voice.
I stayed quiet, nodding for him to continue.
Alex cleared his throat. His caresses were speeding up, sliding up and down my arm nervously.
“There was a reason we didn’t want to become involved with you. We definitely want this relationship now,” he quickly reassured. “In fact, we always did, but there were circumstances that kept us from making such commitments.”
“And now we need to explain.” Jordan’s breath was hot against my neck. “Not only because you’re carrying our child, but because I will not lose you again.”
I melted against him and place my cast hand over his, my fingers stroking over his knuckles. “I don’t want to lose you either.”
Alex chuckled, yet his nerves continued to show in his wide eyes. “I’m glad that’s cleared up, because I don’t want to lose either of you. I love you, Sam. Jordan, you’re my best friend. I could never imagine sharing the woman I loved with anyone else.”
Before I could start crying, Alex’s somber gaze met mine. “We haven’t been honest with you, and if you’re going to be a part of our lives, which better be a yes, then it’s time we shared a few secrets.”
I waited patiently, giving him my full attention. He licked his lips and his fingers drew circles over my shoulder, yet his brown eyes were steady on mine.
“The reason we tried to stay so detached in the past was because we’re different. We’re not exactly what you think we are.”
“Okay, so what are you saying? What are you?”
“We’re shifters,” Jordan answered.
Eyebrows raised, I asked, “Shifters? What are you trying say?”
Alex cleared his throat again. “It’s hard to explain.”
“No, it’s not, Alex. Just tell her what we are.”
Alex ignored Jordan’s interruption. “You know that book you were reading?”
I nodded slowly, unsure where he was going.